Gavin,
I’m sorry… for a lot of things but most of all is that this is going to hurt you. In the time we’ve spent together, you seem like a good man but the trouble is, I don’t know who I am anymore. I look around this apartment we shared and I don’t recognize any piece of myself. I need to go figure things out on my own but to ask that you wait for me when I can’t promise you a single thing isn’t fair so I hope you find a way to move on with your life and be happy again. And please, don’t come after me. If this is real, if you and I are meant to be together, I have faith that the universe will bring us together again.
Xoxo,
Juliette
I stare down at my words for a few seconds before setting the pen down and grabbing the note as I stand up from the chair. With my note in hand, I grab my bags and inch toward the door, listening for movement on the other side but it’s been quiet for a while now. At dinner, Gavin informed me that he would be crashing in the spare bedroom at the top of the stairs until my memories came back and I was so relieved that he wasn’t trying to force anything on me. I imagine it’s incredibly painful for him to be in this house with me but unable to touch me like he’s used to and unwelcome in his own bedroom but he never puts any pressure on me and never tries to make me feel bad for the way things are. Just one more reason to feel guilty about what I’m about to do.
The door creaks as I slowly pull it open and I wince, my ears straining as I stare into the darkness. It certainly looks like he’s gone to bed for the night. I creep forward, trying to be as quiet as possible as I roll my suitcase behind me and clutch the note in my hand. The apartment is dark and the only sound is the soft tick of the large clock mounted on the wall in the living room. I stop in the kitchen, next to the island and set the note down before pulling my engagement ring off and laying it on top as tears sting my eyes.
I’m so sorry.
I stare at the ring for another second before turning away and grabbing my suitcase handle again. My gaze flicks to the closed door at the top of the stairs as I walk to the elevator and I silently ask him for forgiveness and understanding. But even through the guilt I feel over the hurt this is going to cause him, there isn’t a single part of me that feels like leaving is a mistake. In fact, it feels like the best thing I’ve done since waking up in the hospital a week ago. With newfound resolve, I close the distance between me and the elevator and press the button. The doors immediately slide open and I step inside, pressing the button for the lobby. As the car begins its descent, I release a breath and lean back against the back wall. Just a little bit farther and I’ll finally be on my way home again. My heart jumps as the doors open again in the lobby, revealing Carl. He glances up and his look of surprise melts away as he smiles at me.
“Can I help you, Miss Shaw?”
I smile and shake my head. “No, thank you, Carl. I’m all good.”
“Going on a trip?” he asks, eyeing my bags and I glance back at the suitcase I’m pulling behind me. Should I tell him where I’m going? In my note, I asked Gavin not to try and find me but do I really expect him to do that? From the little I know about him, I don’t know that I can see him as the type of man to sit idly by and just wait for the woman he loves to come back. Turning back to Carl, I force another smile.
“Just a little mental health vacation.”
He arches a brow. “Somewhere tropical, I hope.”
“Fiji.”
“Excellent.” He flashes me a smile for a second before it falls. “I meant to tell you how sorry I was to hear about your father’s passing. He was a great man.”
I nod, tears stinging my eyes. “Thank you, Carl.”
“Of course. Will Mr. Hale be joining you on your trip?”
“No,” I answer, shaking my head. “He won’t be able to make it this time.”
He nods and glances to the door. “Would you like me to call you a cab to the airport?”
“Thank you, Carl, but no. I have an errand or two to run before my flight.”
His brows knit together as he studies me. “Miss Shaw…”
“Have a good night, Carl,” I say, interrupting him as I step around him and head for the door. When I glance back over my shoulder, he is still studying me and I flash him another smile as I wave, hoping it will convince him to let it go. Finally, he shakes his head and sighs.
“You, too, Miss Shaw.”
Once I’m outside, I glance back again and release a breath when I see Carl leaning over the counter as he thumbs through a magazine. Thank God. I thought he was going to blow up my plan before I even made it out of the building. When I’m out of his sightline, I pull my phone from my pocket and program the address Mercedes sent me earlier into the GPS and study the map. It’s only a couple blocks down the street. Turning toward the diner, I start off down the street, hoping that I find an ATM along the way. I need to grab as much cash as I can before we leave the city so that I have a little bit of a head start before Gavin starts looking for me.
As soon as the thought hits me, my steps falter and I stop as I suck in a breath. Of course he’s going to chase after me. What man in his right mind, who loves his woman, would just sit by when she breaks off their engagement via a note and runs away in the middle of the night? Especially a man like Gavin who has the means to do so. No matter how hard he tries to honor my wishes, it’s only a matter of time before he searches me out and if I’m being honest with myself, I always knew that but it doesn’t mean I am going to make it easy for him. I need whatever space I can get and I need to find myself, whether that is some version of the me he fell in love with or if it is this girl I see in the mirror, a weird mix of who I was five years ago and pieces of the woman I started to discover when I woke up in the hospital a week ago and it would be harder to do around him. The tension leaves my body as I release the breath I’d been holding and begin walking down the street again, feeling more confident. There’s only about a thousand miles between Miami and Baton Rouge but I’ll do whatever I can to buy myself the time I need to work this all out.
An ATM sign catches my attention and I rush over to it as I pull my wallet out of my purse. I slip my card into the machine and my eyes widen when it prompts me for my pin. Shit. What the hell is my pin? God, this is what I get for throwing this plan together so fast. My foot taps against the pavement as I run through important dates in my head and I whisper a curse as I key my birthday into the machine.
“Please work,” I whisper. My heart drops when an error message pops up on the screen before asking for my pin again.
Shit.
Running a hand through my hair, I shake my head and key in the only other sequence of numbers bouncing around in my head - my parents’ anniversary. This time the menu pops up and I smile as I press the withdrawal button and key in a thousand dollars. The machine begins to make a whirling noise and spits my money out below as a receipt prints from a slot next to the screen. I grab the cash and shove it in my wallet. I’m about to ball up the receipt and throw it away when the words from my dad’s letter come back to me. Staring down at the astronomical number under account balance, I suck in a breath before quickly shoving it in my bag.
“Okay,” I breathe as I pull my phone from my pocket and check the GPS again. I’m only a block from the diner and it’s almost midnight so I need to get moving. Electricity zips through my body as I continue down the street, thinking about being back in Baton Rouge and seeing Mercedes again. Once I’m there, I can figure out my next move but right now, I’m just too excited to care about the small details of this plan that I didn’t have time to flesh out.