I push out of his arms and the panic in his eyes breaks my heart as I turn and straddle his legs, placing my hands on his chest. “Why would you think that?”
“I’m never enough, Juliette. Never good enough to save them. Never good enough to love…just never enough.”
I shake my head and cup his cheek, forcing his gaze to mine as my chest hurts fiercely. “I think you’re everything, Sawyer.”
We stare at each other for a moment before he scoffs and picks me up with ease. He stands and sets me back down in the chair before disappearing into his room without another word and slamming the door. The sound reverberates through the house and tears spring to my eyes as I stare at the floor, wondering where the hell I went wrong but the more I replay what just happened in my head, the less sense it makes. Sucking in a breath, I wipe my tears and start cleaning off the table to distract myself.
Once everything is cleaned up and the food is in the fridge for later, I grab my phone and walk down the hallway to my room directly across from his. Pausing outside his door, I press my hand to the wood and my lips wobble. My mind is a jumbled mess after everything that just happened and as much as I know it’s going to haunt me tonight, I also know that we won’t be able to solve anything until he’s sober. If there is even anything left to solve.
* * * *
I pull my sweater tighter around my body to ward off the morning chill as the sun begins peeking through the trees, making the world around me glisten. Fighting to keep my eyes open, I press the back of my fingers to my lips as I yawn and shake my head. Last night was awful and I spent hours tossing and turning before giving up around four a.m. The house was so quiet that I had to get out so I just started walking and stumbled onto this cute little park a couple of blocks away from Sawyer’s house. There’s a small fountain in the middle surrounded by a gorgeous garden full of bright, colorful flowers. Leading away from the fountain are walking paths that stretch into the woods and I would be tempted to go explore if I wasn’t so damn exhausted. Birds chirp sweetly from the trees and the sound of bubbling water washes over me, melting away my stress. It’s so serene that I may just never leave.
“All right, woman,” a voice says from behind me and I turn as Mercedes walks up to the bench with a drink carrier and a paper bag in her hands. “You wanna tell me why you have my ass out here at six in the morning?”
I take one of the coffees from the drink carrier and flash her a smile. “Maybe I just like your company.”
“Bullshit. No one likes my company at six in the morning. What’s going on? How did last night go?”
“Oh, just peachy,” I answer as I roll my eyes and she nods as understanding washes over her face and she takes a sip of her own coffee.
“Ah, I see. What happened?”
“Nothing.”
She sighs. “Again with the bullshit. Give me all the deets. What happened after you called me last night?”
I take a sip of my coffee and shake my head, irritated by her persistence. “So, after I hung up with you, he stumbles into the house, drunk and when I said drunk, I mean druuunnnk.”
“Oh.” She purses her lips in disapproval and I nod, staring at the fountain in front of me.
“Yeah. And then he tells me that someone died yesterday but when I tried to get him to tell me who, he just started calling me his angel and saying that it was going to suck when I left him.”
She arches a brow. “What the fuck?”
“Exactly.” I dig a donut out of the bag and take a bite. “Then, I ask him who said I was leaving and he says I will because he’s not good enough for me and that he’s not good enough for anyone.”
“What did you say to that?”
I shake my head as my cheeks burn. “I told him that I thought he was everything.”
“Aw.”
“No, not aw, because he stormed off to his room and left me and the dinner I made for him sitting in the dining room.”
“Have you talked to him at all today?” she asks and I shake my head as I take a sip of coffee. I feel so stupid that I was so giddy and happy about this man when the truth is, he is a stranger. For all I know, the man I saw last night is who he really is and he has been putting on one hell of a show since I met him.
“No. I couldn’t sleep all night because I was worried about him and wondering who had hurt him so badly. Around four, I just got up and started walking until I found this place.” I motion to the park and she sighs, taking a sip of her coffee as she relaxes into the seat next to me.
“Well… what do you want to do about him now?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know yet. I’m tempted to just go pack up my shit and use my credit card to get a hotel.”
“And let Gavin find you?”
“I think he already has,” I tell her, shrugging my shoulders and she scowls at me. Why is it that on my list of problems, Gavin finding me seems so much less important than what happened last night? I mean, I was engaged to Gavin but the idea of him finding me and trying to convince me to come back to Miami just doesn’t bother me and I can’t decide if it’s because I feel like I’m home here or because of Sawyer.
“How do you know?”
“There was a man outside of your office yesterday taking pictures of me.”
She gasps. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Nope.”
“Oh, hell no. I’ll hire security for you or something, babe.”
I shake my head, flashing her a look. “I don’t need security. It’s just Gavin.”
“And what if he shows up here? What are you going to do then?” she asks and I tilt my head to the side as I think over her question. So what if Gavin does show up here? I’m not going back to Miami and I’m done feeling guilty for that. Baton Rouge is my home and where I’m supposed to be. My mind drifts back to Sawyer and I sigh.
“If he shows up here, I’ll tell him to go back home.”
“I don’t know if it will be that easy,” she says and I turn to look at her. “He called me two more times after you left yesterday.”
I shrug. “Let him come. What is he going to do? Force me back to Miami? I don’t think so.”
“You know, I was really worried about you when you first told me you lost your memory but look at you, kicking butt and taking names.”
“Do I remind you of the old me?”
She shakes her head. “Yes and no. I don’t think you should be so concerned with who you were and just focus on who you want to be now.”
“I couldn’t agree with you more.”
Before she can say anything else, the roar of a bike fills the air and we both turn toward the street, watching for a second before a man I recognize all too well pulls into one of the parking spaces.
“Oh, here we go,” Mercedes whispers like she is settling in to watch her favorite guilty pleasure TV show. I shake my head as I cross my legs and watch him climb off of his bike and grab a colorful bouquet of flowers off the back of the bike. “Two points for pretty flowers.”
“Are you grading his apology?” I ask, trying not to laugh and she glances back over her shoulder and nods, a grin on her face. We both turn back to Sawyer, who looks like he’s about to shit a brick as he approaches us. But damn if he doesn’t still look like I could eat him alive - a perfect mixture of swaggy bad-ass biker and the kind of guy you can see yourself settling down and having babies with.