"I don't think she came here."
I turn to Sisi and she is just as worried as me.
"You take the west wing; I'll take the east. We'll find her."
Immediately we separate. I run around, asking every single nun if she's seen Claudia. I spot a group of nuns near the graph and I rush to their side.
"Have you seen Claudia?" They scoff their noses at me.
"Can't even take care of your child?" One snorts at me.
I don't even have time to feel offended. I'm once again running, asking a few more nuns whether they've seen Claudia.
"I think so. I'm not sure if it was Claudia." Finally, someone can supply me with some information.
"Please, tell me anyway." I plead.
"She was going towards the chapel."
"Thank you!" I took her hands in mine in a gesture of gratitude.
That was on the other side of the convent, but I didn't care. I just changed my direction and dashed towards the chapel. Why would she visit the chapel? And at this hour? While it's still not dark, with summer hours coming into effect, it's still late. And Claudia knows how important it is to make curfew.
When I reach the chapel, I don't see anyone around. There are no noises either. Hoping the door isn't locked, I push it open. It gives way immediately. The chapel at Sacre Coeur is like a mini gothic church. It's big enough to accommodate all the people within the convent, but by other standards, it's not that large. Inside, there are two rows on each aisle leading towards the altar, and on the right side is the confessional. On each side of the chapel, stained glass depicting Biblical events graces the walls. As I step inside the chapel, I pass the central nave, going straight for the altar. Surely she wouldn't be here...
The church is shrouded in darkness, but there are a few candles still lit at the altar. I'm halfway through the nave when I make out two figures close to the altar. One is an adult, while the other is a child. The more I advance, the more I can distinguish the features... and the actions.
It's Claudia, my sweet Claudia, and Father Guerra. And he... he has his hand up her dress. I gasp as I realize what I'm seeing. Without even thinking I throw myself forward, intent on only getting my little girl from this man's grasp.
They must have noticed my presence, because Father Guerra immediately removes his hand and composes himself. Claudia turns towards me, and I see something in her eyes that makes me snap.
"Claudia, go to the room." I command her. Her shoulders are shaking slightly, I don't know if from what happened or from the tone of my voice. "Now!" I reiterate when she hesitates.
"Mamma..." She whispers, looking at me for a second before running out of the chapel.
"Catalina, this isn't what it looks like." Father Guerra immediately jumps to defend himself. "I was just fixing her dress."
"Fixing her dress? Or underwear?" My feet take me directly in front of him and a sudden urge to do harm overtakes me. He put his hands on my daughter.... my nine-year-old daughter. I want to break down and cry, but I can't allow this man to walk away without penalty.
"Catalina, I'm sure we can reach an understanding." He puts his hands up in a placating gesture.
"What understanding? That you're a goddamn pedophile?" I don't even recognize my voice as I shout at him. "Mother Superior will hear of this. I'll make sure you get what you deserve, you waste of a human being." There's so much venom in my voice, yet it still doesn't do justice to what I felt when I saw him touching Claudia.
Father Guerra laughs. He has the audacity to laugh.
"And who do you think will believe you? You, who fucked who knows who and got pregnant? Not even your family wanted you." My face falls as he continues to talk. "Oh, you think I didn't know? You actually think I wanted to be nice to you? Whores like you shouldn't be allowed in a place of God." He dares to speak of God... My hand shoots out with a mind of its own. It connects with his cheek in a loud snap.
"You... you..." I sputter.
His hand goes to his cheek and slowly rubs it.
"Fucking whore!" He spits out a second before his hand wraps itself around my throat, restricting my airflow. He pushes me backwards until I bump into the altar table. I try to gasp for air, but he continues to tighten his hold.
"No one would even miss you if you're gone." The malice dripping from his voice is palpable... I should have listened to my gut instinct. Instead... Lord knows what he did to my Claudia. That's the thought that spurs me forward. He touched my Claudia. I spread my arms behind me on the table, my hands searching for something... anything that I can use to make him let me go. The seconds trickle by, and I feel myself fading.
No!
It's at that moment that my hand latches onto something... a knife. I wrap my fingers around the hilt and with all my remaining strength; I plunge the sharp side into his neck. His eyes go wide, staring at me as if such a scenario is entirely impossible. He slowly lets go of my throat, his hand going to the knife embedded in his flesh.
The moment my throat is free, I cough, trying to catch my breath.
Father Guerra has the brilliant idea to pull the knife out of his neck. Blood gushes out in spurts, flowing like a geyser out of the wound and onto the floor. He gasps a few times, his knees buckling under his weight. He collapses on the floor... and doesn't move.
I'm still struggling to get my bearings when I realize the extent of my actions.
I... killed him.
When that realization dawns, I start freaking out. I killed a person... a human being. I almost start hyperventilating at the thought, but then I remember why I killed him. He touched Claudia... He was going to kill me... There's a war raging inside of me. I can't decide if I should regret what I did or not. There's this part of me that relishes that a monster is dead; but there is also another part of me that can't believe I've taken a life with my own hands. I try to rationalize it. It's not the end of the world, right? He was a wicked man. Yes... He was an evil man, and the world is better off without him. But what about me? What will happen to me when they find out? They'll probably send me to prison... No! That's not an option. I can't leave Claudia. I can't leave my daughter alone.
Think, Catalina, think!
My resolve renewed; I go into fixing mode. I can't allow this to separate me from my daughter. He won't win!
Think, Catalina!
It's a Sunday night... no one will know if I get rid of the body. Yes... I just have to get rid of the evidence and no one will know. I pick up the knife and using a cloth from the altar, I wipe it clean and I deposit it back in its original spot. But looking around the chapel, I realize I'm in a pickle. What do I do with the body? There's absolutely no way I can get rid of a body on my own...
Think, Catalina... Think!
Eyes wide, I search my surroundings for some inspiration. Then I spot the confessional booth. It could work... for the moment. I grab onto Father Guerra's hands, and I pull him towards the confessionals. It's not easy, considering the discrepancy in our sizes and my lack of strength. But eventually I do it.
Leaving his body on the ground, I prop open the door to the confessional booth, and try my best to cram his body inside, making sure nothing is sticking out. Unfortunately, there's a trail of blood on the floor. Letting out a big breath, I close the door, and I clean up the blood. I do my best, but with limited resources, I'm only messily spreading it around.