The adrenaline is starting to wear off, and panic sets in. I can't just leave a dead man in the confessional booth. But I also can't drag him off by myself to bury him somewhere. I'll need someone else to help me dispose of the body. I don't know what I'm going to do after I get rid of the body, but I'll cross that bridge later.
Placing my hand over my heart, I try to regulate my breathing. I sneak a glance to the confessional and wait again for the guilt to assault me. It doesn't happen. Just thinking about that man touching Claudia... I shake my head. I need to think this through. First thing first, I can't go out with my bloody clothing. I look around, trying to think about my options. I spot the organ in the opposite aisle. The bench is covered with a red cloth. I quickly head over, and I'm happy to see it's a fairly long piece of material.
Divesting of the stained dress, I drape the cloth over my body and I tie a knot around my shoulder in a Grecian style. Then, with my already soiled dress, I wipe down the floor again, in the most obvious spots.
I'll do the rest later.
Closing my eyes for a second, I try to calm down again. I can do this... I can do this. With one last glance at the chapel, I head out and go straight to the room, careful to avoid populated areas. When I reach the room, I open it slowly, and I see Sisi on the bed with Claudia. Sisi's head snaps towards the door.
"Lina?"
"Can you come out for a second? And bring me a dress." Sisi frowns, but does as I say, asking no questions.
I wait outside for a few minutes and then Sisi appears with a dress.
"What is going on?" Her eyes go wide as she takes in my appearance. I must look a fright.
"Something bad happened. Like terrible."
"Lina... you're scaring me."
"Did Claudia tell you anything?" I ask, almost dreading the answer.
"No... she only mentioned you were with Father Guerra." The moment she mentions Father Guerra, I break down.
"He was touching her..." I whisper, and tears finally start pouring.
'What do you mean?" Sisi asks.
"He was touching her under her clothes..."
"No!" She exclaims, horrified.
"Where is he? What happened?"
"I... I killed him."
"You're kidding."
"No... I really killed him. I didn't mean it to but..."
I tell her in detail everything that happened, including how I'd deposited the body in the confessional booth.
After a prolonged silence, Sisi finally speaks.
"We need to do something about that." I look at her, expecting her to hate me for being a murderess.
"You... I killed a man." I repeat, waiting for condemnation.
"Yes, and I would have killed him too. That wastrel! Now, about the confessional booth." She adds pensively.
"That's why I came back. I can't do it alone. I know this is too much to ask but..."
"No buts!" Sisi shuts me and continues. "Come on, dress, and we'll figure it out." She gives me a big hug and lets me change into something more decent.
"I need to talk to Claudia first." I say, and she nods, stepping back to allow me into the room.
"I'll be here. Let me know when to come in."
I leave Sisi outside and tentatively open the door to the room.
"Mamma!" Claudia exclaims and comes towards me. "I'm sorry." She mumbles and starts crying.
"No, baby, no. It's not your fault."
"But you were mad... you screamed at me. You never scream." She mumbles, her small hands rubbing at her eyes.
"Shh.." I slowly pat her hair and lead her towards the bed.
"Claudia, my love, please tell me... has Father Guerra touched you like that before?" I don't know how I manage to mask the tremor in my voice. Claudia raises her dewy green eyes to look at me.
"Once... he told me he'd give me a chocolate every day if I let him." My heart is breaking as she tells me this.
"Did he... did he do more than that?" I almost don't want to know, but I must.
Claudia shakes her head.
"Are you sure? You can tell mamma; I promise I will not get mad."
"No." She shakes her head even harder. I want to believe her... My daughter... my daughter almost went through the same thing I did all those years ago. I bring her to my chest and I tighten my arms around her. She's fine... She's ok. And he's dead... He can't hurt her anymore. That's what I tell myself as I rock her in my arms.
A while later, Claudia is deep asleep. Sisi takes me aside and tells me her idea.
"It might work. No one will know if we bury him in the cemetery."
"How are we going to carry him there, though?" I whisper back at her.
"Your luggage case?" She suggests. That might just work.
We empty the luggage of all its contents, and then we leave for the chapel.
"Sisi, are you sure you want to do this? It's my fault... I can just tell them what happened." I don't want to drag her into my mess... The situation is getting out of hand. And it is my fault.
"And who'd believe you? You already said he's from a prominent family. They probably have enough influence to make sure you get blamed for everything. Think about Claudia. What would happen to her without her mother?" She asks and I freeze. That's exactly what I'd been thinking about. What would happen to my daughter? Turning myself in doesn't seem like a good possibility, especially given that Father Guerra was Mother Superior's favorite.
"What if Mother Superior was in on it too?" Sisi suddenly asks. I turn sharply.
"What do you mean?"
"She knows that when you are on duty, I take over watching Claudia. With me doing double the chores, Claudia would be left alone."
"And vulnerable. You're right. He's been plying her with sweets to gain her trust since the beginning. And no one would have turned an eye if she went somewhere with Father Guerra. He's a priest after all." I add, but this just makes me even sicker to my stomach. Were they planning this? To defile my beautiful baby? I can barely control the rage I feel inside at the thought... but I know I can't regret killing him, even if it was in self-defense. He wanted to hurt my baby.
Inside the chapel, we head straight for the confessional booth. Sisi is quiet as I open the door. She looks at Father Guerra's bloody body with an almost inscrutable expression.
We open the suitcase and lay it on the ground. Then, the both of us grab onto Father Guerra and dump him in the suitcase.
"He's too big." She scrunches her nose.
"We just need to fold him a little." She tilts her head to the side as she considers this.
"How about we try a fetal position?" She circles the suitcase, her face sporting a big frown. She's probably imagining the different angles.
"Let's try." I shrug. We rotate his body, trying varying angles to fit him inside. Lucky for us, he's not a very tall male, probably only five inches taller than my own five-three frame. After much trial and error, he's folded nicely in the suitcase. I grab onto one zipper while Sisi holds onto the other, and we try to meet halfway. It takes a little sitting on top of it to make the suitcase close, but we manage.
"Damn." She wipes the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand.