‘How is it connected?’ said Skins. ‘No one knows. No one even knows if it really exists, but the police reckon Grant’s at the club and that’s why the superintendent wants us to be there – to try to flush him out. He’s convinced something’s going to happen on the night of the contest and that’s why he wants us to keep our peepers on the Alphabet Gang.’
‘If he’s so certain something’s going to happen at the dance contest, why involve you?’ asked Puddle. ‘Surely he could just get his men to infiltrate the place on the night and keep an eye on things.’
‘He could fill the place with coppers,’ said Skins, ‘but they wouldn’t know who they were looking for. If they knew that they’d have nicked him already. They need us in there to sniff him out beforehand.’
‘I doubt he could even do that,’ said Dunn. ‘Lack of manpower, see? He’s only got a small team and they can’t be everywhere at once.’
‘Good point. And you know the place by now – absolute labyrinth. Imagine a load of hairy-ar— a load of big old coppers stomping about the place getting under each other’s feet. Grant would have it away on his toes while they were still trying to get from the front hall to the ballroom.’
‘And no one’s even certain he’s there,’ said Dunn. ‘It’s only a tip-off from . . . Actually, where did it come from? He didn’t say, did he?’
‘He didn’t,’ said Skins. ‘The whole thing was very vague as far as I could make out. You could see why he wouldn’t want to put his own men on it.’
‘I see,’ said Puddle. ‘So you’re on the lookout for someone who doesn’t fit in. Someone odd.’
‘In a nutshell,’ said Skins. ‘So who do you reckon?’
Puddle frowned in thought. ‘It was a strong field. Alfie was the fat one?’
‘With the buck teeth. “He could eat an apple through a tennis racket,” as my gran used to say.’
‘He was utterly charming. Quite the mover, but as gormless as anything.’
‘Could he be a wrong’un?’
‘Oh, I don’t know,’ she said. ‘He can’t dance, that’s all I saw.’
‘Well, unless he’s a cracking good actor,’ said Puddle, ‘it can’t be him. I imagine he has trouble finding a matching pair of socks in the morning, let alone nicking gemstones and disappearing for all these years. Who’s next? Bertie? Was he the one with the gleaming hair?’
‘That was him,’ said Benny. ‘There must have been a whole jar of pomade on that boy’s head.’
‘Well, he wasn’t so goofy,’ said Puddle. ‘He was the one who led them all in, wasn’t he?’
‘He was,’ said Skins. ‘Strangest dancing I’ve ever seen, but he didn’t say much.’
‘Could be him,’ she said. ‘Quiet and unassuming, but sneaky and organized.’
‘Sneaky?’ said Dunn. ‘How do you work that out?’
‘Well . . .’ she said. ‘You know. Sneaking about the club, opening doors, finding the dance class.’
Skins and Dunn laughed. Benny shook his head and took a sip of his rum.
‘You may well laugh,’ she said. ‘But I have a nose for these things. Who’s next. Oh, Charlie. Oh, my goodness. Charlie. He was a dish, darling. Taken, though. But so charming. Every inch the officer and gentleman. Was he an officer, this deserter?’
‘OR,’ said Dunn.
Puddle looked blank.
‘Other Ranks,’ explained Skins. ‘He was a private.’
‘Well, it’s unlikely to be him, then – he’s the real thing. You can’t fake that sort of poise.’
‘If he’s been hiding out all this time,’ said Benny, ‘he’s got to be good. You just said it couldn’t be Alfie because there’s been people after him for years and he’s still on the loose. Whoever it is has got to be sharp.’
‘Well, I shan’t hear of it,’ said Puddle. ‘Charlie is an absolute honey pie. Who was D in their little alphabet?’
‘Danny,’ said Benny. ‘Skinny fellow. Big nose. Shy, like he had something to hide.’
‘There’s your man, then,’ said Puddle, proudly. ‘Trying to stay out of the limelight. Doesn’t want to draw attention to himself. Struggling to keep up the pretence among all those officers. I bet the others were all officers, weren’t they?’
‘No idea,’ said Dunn. ‘We’ll find out soon enough, I’m sure.’
‘And E . . .’ she said. ‘Oh, Ernie. Spectacles. Never could trust a man in spectacles. I had an uncle who wore spectacles. He did time for embezzling from the company accounts. Ernie’s definitely your man.’
‘And everyone else except Alfie,’ said Skins. ‘Because he’s too stupid.’
‘Could be a bluff,’ said Benny with a wicked twinkle. ‘He might just be pretending to be a ha’penny short of a shilling. He could be a criminal mastermind.’
Skins sighed. ‘You’re no help at all, you two. I wish I hadn’t bothered.’
‘Oh, darling,’ said Puddle. ‘Don’t be like that. We’ll help, won’t we, Benjamin? I’ve always wanted to be a sleuth.’
‘We just need to get to know them all a bit better,’ said Skins. ‘Are you really keen to help?’
‘Of course,’ said Puddle.
‘Sure,’ said Benny.
‘Fantastic,’ said Skins. ‘We need another drink and a plan.’
Dunn finished off his pint. ‘I’ll get them,’ he said. ‘Same again?’
Bloomsbury
May 21, 1925
Dearest Flo,
I’m sorry to hear about the concert. Or perhaps I’m not. I’m very much of the opinion that an evening of lederhosen, dirndls, and threatening trombonists in the corridors of a concert hall is right up your alley. The lady doth protest too much, methinks. And it must be true because Queen Gertrude said it, and we know what a reliable character she was.
We’re all jogging along nicely here in Bloomsbury. The children are as mischievous as ever (which I love), as is Ivor (which I also love, if I’m honest). He’s showing no signs of growing old, nor even of growing up.
I’ve been gadding about with my pals as usual. Our bridge night at Caroline Weaving’s house descended into bawdy chaos when Betty Jackson shared a filthy joke her husband had told her and we had to spend five minutes explaining it to Audrey Redder. I swear, some of these women have led the most sheltered lives. As the conversation went on, though, it became clear that others are aware of wild things I’ve never even thought of. I am, it seems, distinctly average.
The charity committee continues to take up much of my time, of course. Do you remember I told you about our plan to take a party of children to Margate for the day? We’re getting closer to making that a reality, though we’re still short of a few adult volunteers to act as chaperones/shepherds/guards. Individually the children are little darlings, but once in a herd they can become a bit unruly. I’m sure it will all work out.