“There’s my jet-set neighbor. Where’ve you been off to lately? Anywhere exciting?”
I noticed she was freshly made up and dressed for the day. “I’ll tell you all about it over dinner if you’re free. I’m on my way to the market and wondered if you needed anything or wanted to come with me.”
Her whole face lit up. “Just the kind of offer I was looking for, sweet man. Having a bit of the cabin fever if you want to know the truth.”
“Then maybe we need to stop somewhere for a coffee and pastry on the way and make a morning of it. What do you say?”
We spent a nice morning wandering the neighborhood, sharing a box of pastries, and collecting groceries. When we returned, Elaine joined me in the kitchen to keep me company while I prepared the marinade for the chicken.
“You know,” she began, “at some point you might consider a different job.”
I glanced up at her from chopping the prunes in half. “Why? I love my job.”
One of the reasons we’d bonded so quickly after I’d moved in was because I’d discovered she’d been a flight attendant for United for forty years before she’d retired. We’d spent hours swapping stories of crazy flights and customers.
“Your job won’t keep your bed warm at night,” she said with a twinkle in her eye. “Ask me how I know.”
“You sound like my sister. She’s been encouraging me to change over to private charters. Find something more predictable. I interviewed for one several weeks ago, but the pay wasn’t good enough.” I went back to chopping. “And I think if I’m going to make a big change like that, I might want to move closer to her and Kirk. They’re trying to get pregnant, and it would be nice to be closer to them.”
Elaine made a thoughtful sound before taking a sip from the glass of ice water I’d given her.
“What about you? Do you want children?” she asked. She already knew I was gay despite the fact I never brought men home to my apartment.
I shrugged. “I go back and forth. I think it would depend on the guy I fell in love with.” I thought about it for a minute. “If I met someone who didn’t want kids, I’d enjoy taking advantage of our freedom to travel and go out for nice long dinners. But if I met someone who wanted a family, I could see myself enjoying that life too, you know? It’s weird. If you’d asked me even a year ago, I would have said no kids.”
She smiled and hummed her agreement. “You know I never want to get in your business, Jack. But I don’t want you to turn around one day and have regrets.”
I looked up at her and saw the truth of her words in her eyes. “What’s your biggest regret? Not settling down? Not having a family?”
Elaine shook her head. “Falling in love with someone who was in love with someone else. I wasted twenty years thinking he’d change his mind. By the time I met Raymond, I was past my prime. They wouldn’t even let us adopt.”
Heavy silence fell between us until she finally flapped her hand at me. “That’s not to say we didn’t take advantage of our independence. Did I ever tell you about the time we went on one of those spiritual retreats in South America where they give you psychedelic drugs?”
And just like that, she was off on another adventure story. The subject of conversation was officially changed, but her words stayed with me longer than she probably realized.
Pretending with NurseTee had broken something open in me, and Elaine had looked right at the pile of leftover debris that spilled out and pinpointed the problem.
I was lonely. And maybe all of the women in my life were right.
Maybe I was ready for more.
Later that night, I pulled out Jefferson Plenty’s card and gave him a call.
7
Teo
It had been almost four months since the night with FlyGuy that I still couldn’t get out of my damned head. I’d entered into this odd sort of reality where I worked hard and flirted happily with Chris during the day but fantasized about my mysterious stranger at night.
At first, I wrote it off as a byproduct of my first sexual experience. Of course I carried a little torch for the first man I’d ever slept with. From everything I’d ever heard, that was normal, especially if the first time had been amazing. But then I began to wonder if there was more to it than that. Was it possible I’d had some kind of special chemistry with FlyGuy? The question began to nag at me until one night, after a late night of drinking and watching a late basketball game at Chris’s place, I got the bright idea to sign up for the app again to see if I could find FlyGuy and arrange another night together.
When I couldn’t find his username anywhere on the app, I chalked it up to having had too much to drink. But in the light of the following day, there was still no one with the username FlyGuy. I’d started a new account, so it couldn’t be an issue of him blocking me. After scrolling and searching until my eyes bled, I finally deleted my account again and uninstalled the damned thing.
“Why are you growling at your phone?” Chris mumbled, wandering out from his bedroom in nothing but low-hanging pajama pants. I glanced over at Jay, who was still dead asleep on the couch opposite the one I’d slept on.
“Nothing. You have any eggs? I’m going to make some if you do.”
Chris scratched his stomach, drawing my eyes to the dark blond hair of his happy trail. He was sexy as hell, always had been. As he walked past me to the fridge, I was blessed with a view of his round ass and muscular back. The faded silver scar on his right shoulder blade was from the time he’d shimmied under a fence to retrieve our football from a neighbor’s yard. He was so familiar and beloved, it hurt.
“I’m taking Grandpa Banks to see Hattie during our lunch break today,” I said before standing up from the barstool to join him by the stove. “Do you want to come with us?”
When I brushed past him, I leaned in to catch a whiff of his scent. He smelled different than normal, like he was using a new soap or aftershave.
“Nah. I have to work through lunch. We’re trying to close that hospital in Frankfurt, and I have some more work to do with the legal team on the contract.”
I reached out to run a finger along his lower back above the waistband of his pajama pants, but he swatted my hand away with a hiss. “Jay is right there.”
My face flooded with heat. “So? He’s asleep. Also, he’s gay. It’s not like he’s going to judge you for—”
“Knock it off, Teo,” he snapped in a harsh whisper. “We agreed to just friends for now, remember?”
I glanced at the sleeping form of our friend before looking back at Chris. I noticed the front of his pajama pants were tented which was sending me a totally different message than the one from his mouth.
“I’ve been working at Banks for three months,” I said softly. “I thought you said—”
He let out a deep sigh and put his hands on my shoulders. “I know. I know what I said. But I’m just… Dad is working me to death on this German deal, and Grandpa wants to have his finger in every piece of it even though he should be long retired by now. As soon as the deal is all closed and contracts are signed, we’ll talk. Okay? Right now I just…” He glanced in Jay’s direction before lowering his voice even further. “I just need you to be the one area of my life where I don’t feel so much pressure. Can you do that for me?”