To say I was shocked was a massive understatement. “I’ve loved Chris for twenty years,” I admitted, feeling actual nausea at saying the words out loud to the Banks family patriarch.
He pursed his lips. “I thought maybe you finally came to work for us because of that. Because of him.”
I felt like I was standing on a wet log in the middle of a swift-moving river. Suddenly I wasn’t sure if I was talking to the man who’d been my own surrogate grandfather for years, the man who was the head of the supposedly homophobic Banks family, or my boss.
“That’s about right. But I see how important the work is,” I hedged.
He threw back his head and laughed so hard, he began coughing. When he caught his breath, he turned to face me. The look of fatherly affection was a pleasant surprise. I’d always felt appreciated by him, but I’d wondered if that was more recently because of my position as his nurse than anything else.
“Life is too short to wait and see,” Grandpa Banks began. “If a life with Chris is what you want, fight for it. Make it happen.”
“Wouldn’t you and Mike… I don’t know… have a problem with him being in a relationship with another man?”
His forehead wrinkled in confusion. “Why would we have a problem with Chris being gay? My brother Rod is gay. Mike’s college roommate, Oliver Poole, is gay. You know Oliver. He and his husband, Jordan, come to the Christmas party every year. Jordan manages one of the theaters downtown, but I can never remember which one.”
I felt like someone had kicked the wet log out from under me. “Uncle Rod is gay? Since when? How did I not know this? Are you sure?”
He laughed again, and it was good to see. I cared about his happiness and worried sometimes about him becoming lonely without his wife there to keep him company.
“Yes, I’m sure,” he said. “But you’re welcome to ask him. Better yet, ask Emmanuel.” He bounced his eyebrows at me in a knowing gesture.
“Emmanuel his nurse?” I cried. “Inappropriate! Jesus, Grandpa. Gross. That’s a problem in so many—”
Grandpa Banks cut in. “Calm down. Emmanuel has been his partner for ten years, long before he started caring for Rod’s health full-time. I guess you came along after we lost Rod’s first partner. They were together a long time, so it took a while for Rod to grieve. But Emmanuel is good for him. Keeps him young.”
I filtered everything I knew about the Banks family back through my brain with this new information. My own internalized bias was clear. I’d assumed Rod’s grief had been due to losing a wife.
“But…” I didn’t even know where to begin. If the Bankses didn’t have a problem with Chris being gay, what the hell was the holdup on our relationship? “Then why…” I swallowed around a newly forming lump in my throat. I couldn’t even say the words. They might break my fucking heart right there on the banks of Lake Michigan.
“Teo, tell me something. Did you ever read Napoleon Hill? The Think and Grow Rich books?”
I shook my head. “No, but I’ve heard of them.”
“Well, that man had lots of optimistic sayings. He was kind of the king of self-help. But one of the things he said has always stayed with me. ‘The starting point of all achievement is desire.’ In other words,” he said, moving to stand up from the bench, “if you want it, make it happen.”
He stayed quiet during the rest of our stroll through the park toward the Philly restaurant. It gave me time to process his words and realize that, while I wanted to know Chris’s reasons for stalling, the end result was the same. I wanted him in my life as my partner, my future. And it was time I took action to make it happen.
When we got back to the office, it was humming with activity. “What’s going on?” I asked Chris when I led Gordon around the corner to the executive hallway.
Chris glanced past me to his grandfather. “They’re ready to sign, but Andreas wants you to bring the paperwork in person.”
Gordon’s face lit up. “Excellent. Let’s get to work to make that happen.”
He turned to pat my hand and thank me for lunch and the visit to see Hattie before he turned to join Chris and Mike in the large conference room at the end of the hallway. I turned around and made my way back down the hall to my cubicle in the area I shared with a handful of other junior consultants.
A couple of hours later when I went to find Gordon to check his blood glucose, I discovered all three of the Banks men had left for the night.
“Oh, there you are,” Mike’s assistant said, standing to wave me down. “Mike and Chris had to meet some clients for dinner, but they wanted to make sure you were all set for tomorrow.”
I blinked at Mike’s assistant. “Tomorrow?”
He nodded and rustled through some papers in a folder before handing me a single sheet of paper. “I emailed this to you as well. It’s the itinerary for your trip. Chris and Mr. Banks will meet you at the plane at four. It leaves out of the private terminal at Midway.” He reached over to the side table next to his desk and grabbed a simple leather document case. “Here are the legal papers you need. Chris had to leave before I had them ready. Be sure to give those to him at the airport. Let’s see… what else?”
He looked at me like I had any idea what he was talking about.
“I don’t understand,” I said when no more information seemed forthcoming. “What trip?”
“To Frankfurt. They told me you’d be accompanying Mr. Banks as his personal nurse.”
We stared at each other for a minute. On the one hand, I was furious this had been decided without discussing it with me. On the other… I was going on a trip to Germany with my best friend.
Except he, and everyone else who’d ever met me, knew I’d never flown before because I was absolutely terrified of flying.
I took the leather portfolio from him in a shaky hand and tried returning his smile. “Thanks. Have a great weekend.”
That evening was spent frantically searching for my barely used passport that I’d only gotten once for a weekend road trip to Canada, packing for the unexpected trip, and making last-minute arrangements with my neighbor to look in on the cats. I texted Chris to ask him to call me when his dinner was over, but I didn’t hear from him.
The following day, I still didn’t hear from him, and now he wasn’t answering actual calls either. It wasn’t until I was walking out to the private jet that afternoon—with complete and total conviction I was going to puke my guts out if I didn’t calm down—that I finally heard from him.
“Are you already here?” I asked, looking forward to the solid block of time I would get to spend with him overnight. I hoped to god he’d let me hold his hand. At least during takeoff and landing.
“Teo, fuck,” he said as out of breath as I felt. “Sorry about all this. I’m not going to make it. I need you to—”
I interrupted him with a squawk. “What? What do you mean you’re not going to make it?”
“Listen, this is great news, actually. Last night when we were at dinner, Dad ran into an old friend who introduced us to the CEO of MedPoint. They’re the third largest hospital chain in the US. We’ve been trying to get an appointment with them forever. Anyway, they’ve agreed to meet with us on Tuesday, so I can’t go to Frankfurt with you.”