Even though I’d begun sobering up, I was still confused. “But you went to community college and state school like me.”
“Yep,” he grumbled.
“So the guy’s coworkers were asshole snobs. So?”
Jack’s fingers moved absently through my hair. “So, not only was I not a Columbia grad, I also wasn’t a United captain at the time. This was years before I even came anywhere close. I was lucky to have the job flying regional jets. Honestly, I just assumed it was a misunderstanding until I mentioned it to Rico and he freaked out about it. He asked if I’d told them the truth, and when I said they hadn’t known I was even in there at the time, he’d let out a breath of relief. That’s when I realized that he’d spun this big story about me that was all bullshit. And he’d done it because he was embarrassed by my real situation.”
I turned around in Jack’s lap and hugged him tightly. “Fucking asshole,” I muttered into his warm neck. “I want to punch him for you.”
“After that, I had trouble trusting anyone. I gave up for a while until I met a guy named Ty. Are you bored yet?”
“No. I like learning about your past. I want to go back and hug past Jack.” I squeezed him again and kissed the side of his neck, taking the opportunity again to lick him a little. God, he tasted amazing. Like Mother Nature had sprinkled in some gourmet shit when she finished putting him together.
“You’ll like this one, actually. Ty was awesome. Is awesome. Cute, smart, funny, kind. We met on a ski trip that a pilot buddy of mine had invited me on. The trip had started as this annual trip to Sugarloaf in Maine with his college friends and had grown into a big free-for-all where they rented out this cheap-ass hotel and invited everyone they knew to make it a big party week. It was so much fun. I hadn’t done something like that in ages, so I had a blast. Ty was part of the original group of college friends, and he’d brought his two brothers along on the trip too.”
For some reason, I didn’t like hearing about this perfect man and his fancy ski trips. But I liked feeling like a jealous asshole even less. “Go on.”
“We totally hit it off. Flirted all week and finally made out on the last night.” He chuckled. “You would have appreciated the moment. It was all snowy and romantic. We were sitting on a bench late at night at the bottom of the slopes.”
I put my hands over my face. “I don’t need the details.”
He laughed again and kissed my temple. “He lived in Manhattan, thank god. So when we got back home, we started dating. We did everything together, and I appreciated his great group of friends. About six months into our relationship, we hosted a dinner party at his place and I brought my sister, who was visiting from Indiana. She totally hit it off with Ty’s brother, and the two of them started dating long-distance. Ty’s brother is a pilot too, so we hit it off. After that, the four of us got together regularly and had lots of fun. I used my flight benefits to bring Millie to New York as often as we could manage, and the four of us would see shows, go out to eat, or just hang out at Ty’s apartment with takeout and a movie. It was the closest thing I’ve ever had to feeling permanent.”
“Did you love him?” I asked.
“Definitely. And his job was in travel too. He was a corporate event planner, so he traveled all over, putting on events or checking out venues for future ones. He loved to travel, so once we’d been together a little longer, we started traveling together. We went to Italy and Hawaii, Banff and Vancouver. I finally got to enjoy some of those places with a boyfriend instead of just wandering around on my own between flights.”
It all sounded so perfect, I started to feel a little uneasy, like I was the “other man” or something. How could they not still be together if it was that good? “Did you catch him cheating or something?” I asked.
He grinned. “No. Ty is definitely not the cheating type. It was the opposite actually.”
“What’s the opposite of cheating?” I wondered out loud.
Jack looked down at me. “Proposing.”
“Oh,” I squeaked, feeling even more intensely jealous than before. “Oh.”
He pressed a kiss to my lips and lingered there for a moment before pulling back. “Yeah, oh. But I wasn’t ready. I… I didn’t have the same kind of dream of settling down that he did. He wanted us to move in together and play happy gays. Ty loved nothing more than us spending all day Saturday shopping, cooking, and decorating for a dinner party with friends or putting on an elaborate Sunday brunch.”
“That doesn’t sound so bad,” I said, even though it kinda did to me. “But, I mean… I’m the kind of guy who’d rather stay in pajamas and eat onion dip out of a can while binge-watching Netflix. Um… not that I do that kind of thing or anything. Gross.”
Jack snorted. “That sounds like my kind of day. Relaxing instead of stressing about cleaning the bathroom and arranging the decorative sticks just so in their vase.”
“What are decorative sticks?”
“I’m not really sure, but Ty had several different sets.”
“Did you ever try to get him to spend your days off the way you wanted to? You know, try some of the couples communication all the books talk about?”
“Definitely. But I always felt like I was disappointing him or at the very least, boring him. And when he asked me to marry him, all I could see was a life ahead of us, made up of little moments of disappointing him.” He looked down at me. I could see the sadness left over in his eyes. “So I said no. Hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”
My heart hurt for him, for both of them, really. It was a reminder that you can love someone but not be able to be with them. And you could love someone who wasn’t your best match.
“I’m sorry.”
Jack snuggled me closer. “Me too. It still weighs on me. Every time I see him, I feel like I’m still letting him down.”
I sat up and looked at him. “Wait. You still see him?”
“He’s kind of my brother-in-law. Millie married Ty’s brother, Kirk. And now Millie and Kirk are expecting their first baby, so I’ll probably see Ty even more often. It’s the first grandchild on both sides.”
“Oh. Well, shit.”
“Mm-hm. It was almost as hard to tell my sister about the breakup as it was to break up with Ty in the first place. She was furious. She’d spent two years happily planning our joint futures together. We’d live next door to each other and help with each other’s kids. It didn’t matter that Ty and I didn’t live in Indiana. Millie always treated that like a small bump in the road instead of a major obstacle. It’s been six years and Millie still gives me hell for breaking up with Ty.”
“And now you live in Chicago,” I said. “So you’re much closer.”
He nodded. “And Ty is supposedly interviewing for jobs in Chicago to move closer to them too. Their parents are gone, so Ty and Kirk are each other’s only remaining family.”
Great. Perfect Ty was going to move to Chicago and be closer to Boyfriend Jack. Fucker.
“Maybe things will work out now that you’re in a more predictable job,” I suggested. I pulled out one of the peach gummy rings I’d been snacking on and slid it over his ring finger. “Maybe you’ll decide to settle down after all and find someone to put a ring on.”