When Jack had told me about his previous relationships, he’d always made himself out to be the bad guy. Too ambitious to make things work with Adam, not educated or prestigious enough for Rico, not mature enough to commit to Ty. I wasn’t quite sure why he took all that on himself, but he was wrong. His concern for me was proof of how thoughtful he was. Plus, he’d treated me like a precious treasure the entire time we’d spent together in Goose Bay, not to mention how tenderly he’d made love to me the first night we’d gotten together so many months ago.
“Just knowing you’ll be there in case anything happens is good,” I said. “I downloaded some podcasts to listen to in hopes it’ll help distract me.”
“Okay, well, all you have to do is speak up if there’s anything you need. I can tell Brenda would love to mother you if given half a chance, so let her take care of you too.”
We finished packing and made our way to the airport. Once on board the plane, I strapped in and tried to concentrate on some focused breathing techniques for relaxation. I’d already downed a couple of bottles of water to stay hydrated and put in my earbuds to play some of my favorite songs until we were in the air. I closed my eyes and tried to float away with the music in my ears. All of the thunking noises and vibrations associated with closing hatches and doors made me shake even worse until I was regretting not having Xanax after all. Future Teo might have hated me for it, but present Teo would have adored me.
Someone’s hands grasped mine, and I opened my eyes to see Jack squatting in front of me. His handsome face was lit with a giant smile. God, he was stunning. I still couldn’t believe a man like this would give a man like me the time of day, much less time with his naked body. “Hey, I brought you something.” He pulled out a handful of individually wrapped candies. They were little yellow balls that looked lemony. “These are pineapple hard candies from Hawaii. They’re one of my favorite things, and every time I visit there, I stock up. I want you to suck on one of these while we’re taking off. Close your eyes and think of warm beaches and tropical breezes. Feel the sand between your toes and hear the whoosh of the ocean.”
I took the candy from his outstretched palm. “Thank you. I’d ask you to divert the plane there, but that would make the flight ten times longer, and I can’t handle that right now.”
He squeezed my hands and stood, reaching down to run fingers through my hair before returning to the cockpit. I wasn’t even sure he was aware of how often he ran his fingers through my hair. Whenever we lay together or snuggled up to watch television, his fingers always found their way into my hair. I loved it and preened like a cat every time he did it.
I took a deep breath and popped a candy into my mouth, hoping like hell it had Xanax-like side effects.
16
Jack
I’d already informed Brenda about Teo’s fear of flying so she could keep a special eye on him and make sure he was hanging in there. It didn’t keep me from checking in with her several times during the flight though. By the time we crossed into US airspace, I was pretty sure Nate and Brenda both knew something was up between me and the client.
I just hoped it didn’t get me fired. If there was one thing I’d decided on this unexpected trip, it was how much I enjoyed working for Douglas Aviation. They’d handled the emergency with professionalism and efficiency. There hadn’t been any unnecessary drama or blame involved in the mechanical failure, and they’d already scheduled me for more flights as soon as we returned.
I spent most of the flight back to Chicago wondering how things would go between Teo and me. Did he really want me to be his fake boyfriend, or had he changed his mind? Would it be awkward? What if he needed me for something and I was out of town?
By the time we landed smoothly at Midway, I was keyed up and angry at myself. This. This was why I’d given up on relationships. I hated worrying about the other person and wondering if I was letting them down. I hated feeling like I wouldn’t be good enough or they somehow deserved better. It was so much easier just to stick to casual sex and not get feelings involved. Even a fake relationship was bringing up some of these old feelings.
Maybe it was a good thing I was turning right around and heading out on another trip later this evening. I was scheduled to fly a client to Houston for a talk he was giving at a mobility expo. Rourke was in a wheelchair and had some really unique adaptations to his single-pilot Cessna. I’d flown him a couple of times before and got along with him well. It would hopefully be a straightforward trip, but I still felt odd parting from Teo after so much time glued to each other in Goose Bay.
Sure enough, the goodbye was awkward as hell. Nate and Brenda were there, so the most I could do was an odd kind of handshake. I met Teo’s eyes and gave him the biggest smile I could, but then he was walking away from us.
And all I could do was watch him go.
It only took two days back in my regular routine before my skin began to feel too tight. I couldn’t figure out what the problem was, so I assumed it had something to do with my job. After taking Rourke to Houston and back, I was rotated to fly a different corporate jet, taking six agriculture executives to a conference in Las Vegas.
Out of habit, I reached for my phone app to scroll through Grindr. None of the men got me half-excited as the memory of Teo did. Plus, I reminded myself I had a boyfriend now. Even if we weren’t really dating, it would be rude to sleep around on him. What if someone saw me and it somehow got back to Chris or Teo himself? No. I’d content myself with a nice dinner and maybe call Teo when I got to my hotel room.
I went to a little Indian place not too far from the hotel where I was staying next to UNLV and the airport. I’d flown through Vegas a million times and had my list of favorites, but somehow it wasn’t quite as good as usual. I’d never had a problem dining on my own before, but tonight’s dinner seemed extra quiet for some reason. There were plenty of people at the restaurant—a mix of students and locals—but I still felt odd, like I was separated from everyone else by a transparent glass wall.
I pulled out my phone and texted my sister.
Jack: Bored in Vegas. Thinking about going to see Thunder From Down Under.
Millie: Tell me you’re joking.
Jack: I’m joking. But I would like a good Netflix recommendation if you have one.
Millie: That new Ryan Reynolds action flick was good. Why aren’t you out hooking up with some pretty Vegas boy?
I took a sip of my wine and thought about what to tell her.
Jack: I kind of met someone.
My phone rang two seconds after I hit Send on the text.
“Tell me everything,” she said. “Oop, wait. Mom’s birthday dinner is Saturday at my house. Bring that champagne she likes. Okay, go. Name?”
I smiled at her familiar bossy tone. “His name is Teo, short for Teodor. His parents are Italian. His father is some kind of specialty plumber who was moved to the States with an Italian faucet company when Teo was a baby and his sister was just getting ready to start kindergarten.”
The server came by to top up my ice water, and I shot him a grateful smile.