I looked at her in disbelief, and she slowly sipped her wine, never taking her eyes from mine. I turned to look at everyone, but thankfully they were all too busy eating to notice or hear her say anything.
Then she laughed and, putting her arm around me, touched my forehead with hers. To everyone else, this probably looked like a sweet gesture, but it wasn’t, because her hand was gripping my arm and I felt the pressure on my forehead. But within seconds she was laughing with Dan about something one of the kids had said, leaving me to wonder if what had just happened was real.
Everyone continued to eat and chatter in the twinkle of candlelight, the tinkle of cutlery, crickets chirping all around us, but I couldn’t hear anything, just saw mouths moving.
Let’s hope no one tells Dan the truth about his perfect wife, she’d said.
There we all were in the beautiful garden, a glittery table full of warmth and life and family. Night was drawing in, and despite the still unbearable heat, I felt suddenly very cold, like someone had walked over my grave.
Chapter Sixteen
So Ella was now well and truly one of the family, and as I sat at the table, my world crumbling around me at the prospect of her spilling my secret on a whim, she smiled and pouted and flicked her hair over and over. For the rest of the evening, she took lots of photos, insisting on family selfies, and making us all gather around her. As we danced to her tune, getting up from our seats, abandoning our dinner to stand by her and smile on her command, she seemed to grow and grow, becoming stronger and louder with every click of her phone camera. She bathed in the attention, the acceptance, and continued to overuse the word ‘super’ as an adverb all evening. And later, when everyone was in bed asleep, I checked her Instagram. She’d posted a photo of the meal and the family at the table. It looked perfect: tea lights, fairy lights, a table groaning with food and a happy smiling family – #MyFamily #Italy #VeganDinner. Several lovely family photos beautifully styled, Ella in the middle, all the family around her – except me. She’d managed to cut me out of every photo.
* * *
‘She’s so… self-aware, isn’t she?’ I murmured the next day to Joy as Ella took yet more selfies by the pool. The sky was French navy, the bluest I’d ever seen, and the sun was turning everything yellow and gold, but the blot on my horizon was getting bigger by the hour. I was desperately trying to find a way to tell Joy about her earrings but couldn’t work out how or when to actually say it. Would Ella then expose me if I did, or would she be too mortified trying to lie her way out of the earring theft? I also didn’t want to upset the others: the kids adored her, Dan seemed to think she was fragile, and even when I’d remarked to Bob earlier that she was confident for someone so young, he’d smiled and said, ‘Yes, she’s a lovely girl.’
I was now testing Joy’s opinion of her new family member. I was also keen to bond, hoping she’d move on and forget about my ‘bossy’ comment as reported to her by Ella.
‘Self-aware?’ Joy asked, eventually. ‘What do you mean exactly?’
It looked like Joy was going to be a tough audience, as tough as Violet, who only that morning had declared Ella to be ‘a beautiful, cool princess’.
‘I just meant well-groomed, attractive but works at it – you know?’
‘Mmm, she’s a lovely girl,’ Joy said, echoing Bob. ‘She’s given me the name of her hairdresser in London. Those highlights,’ she sighed, and raised her eyebrows. ‘That colour would take ten years off me.’
‘Balayage.’
‘I’m sorry?’
‘That’s the technique. The word’s French, it means to sweep – the colour’s swept on, gives a really natural look.’
‘Ah, yes, I love it, and her nails… have you seen her nails?’
I nodded.
‘Just gorgeous.’
My heart sank. It didn’t matter if Ella was self-obsessed, always trying to push her views down everyone’s throats and judging them if they didn’t agree – all Joy saw was a pretty, presentable young woman she could introduce as her daughter-in-law. It seemed that Joy – like everyone else – had been seduced by the honeyed caramel hair and cappuccino-coloured nails. Only I could see beyond the gloss, but then Ella only ever seemed to be hostile towards me, she was lovely with everyone else.
As for Jamie, I’d never seen him like this over a woman. He followed his new wife around like a lost puppy. My brother-in-law had always been a lot of fun and the kids adored him, but he seemed somehow quieter in her shadow. He’d usually lift any family gathering with his easy charm and sense of humour, and Joy came alive in his presence – perhaps we all did. But Jamie had changed. You could see her in his eyes, and when Ella spoke, he seemed to grow in stature, like he was bursting with pride.
Later that day, I bumped into him. I’d just come inside from the pool, leaving Dan with the kids and Ella lying nearby rubbing sun oil in every crevice. Once inside the house, I couldn’t help it, I turned around and watched through a window, and within seconds of me leaving, she’d said something to Dan. He was sitting a few feet away from her and looked up, put his sunglasses on his head and sat up to chat. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he seemed more animated than he had all week. It disturbed me, especially after her comment the previous evening, suggesting someone might tell him what I’d been trying to hide.
I stood for a few minutes trying to work out what they were saying, if the body language would give anything away. As they chatted, there was much smiling, lots of positive nodding from Dan – he even laughed at something she’d said. I could see he found her engaging, but luckily it seemed she was keeping my secret safe – for now. She wasn’t going to say anything at this juncture, she was just enjoying playing with him – this was a different kind of sport. He stood up and went over to where she was, a smile in his eyes. My heart started thumping, and I wondered if it had been like this for him with Carmel and Marilyn at first. Was this how it started: a flirty exchange, a harmless giggle? Would Dan, or even Ella, jeopardise their relationship, their family for something more than friendship? I didn’t trust her, and I realised then that I didn’t trust Dan either.
I held my breath as he stood over her and, taking the bottle of sun oil from her hand, poured some into his open palm and rubbed his hands together. I was breathless as she rolled onto her tummy, and he leaned over her, slowly rubbing the sun oil into her back, her shoulders. Both his hands on her golden flesh, I could almost hear the sizzle as he worked the oil into her, taking such care, so involved in the task.
She was leaning on her elbows. I could see her face now: her eyes were closed, her head thrown back as if in ecstasy, while Dan continued to pour more oil on his hand, slathering it across her back, moving down her body, slickly, slowly, savouring every moment as his hands crept towards her hips.
And as he did this, Ella opened her eyes and looked directly at me. She knew I was there, behind the glass – she’d probably known all the time. Then slowly, she opened her mouth like she was climaxing, and closed her eyes. I was filled with fear and disgust but was unable to take my eyes from what was happening. Then someone tweaked the side of my waist with both hands and I jumped.