Once he’d opened the door for her and made sure she was okay, he left, and she wondered again if he might be gay, or maybe bisexual; whether this man he’d bumped into was more than a friend. Was that why he hadn’t made a move on her?
It was an odd situation, she thought, to want to dress a woman up, get her preened to perfection and then not try and sleep with her. It really didn’t make any sense. Friends, she reminded herself, too tired to think, to even get undressed. She climbed under the covers and instantly fell asleep.
Sara woke on Sunday morning feeling stiff and sore, muscles aching, her skin tacky after a sweaty night. Her clothes lay in a tangled pile by the bed, where she must have thrown them off in the night. She wondered if she was coming down with something, or perhaps it was just the after-effects of the treatments, working the toxins out of her body.
She got herself washed and dressed, then packed all her clothes, except the things James had bought for her. She couldn’t take those home, because every time she wore them, she’d think about this weekend, and that wouldn’t feel right if she was with Matt. She put them in a neat pile on the bed, ready to return.
James was already eating breakfast in the dining room when she joined him. He was very chirpy and seemed in the best of moods, even though she’d cut their weekend short. She, on the other hand, was feeling grumpy and thick-headed. She wondered if his good mood had something to do with the mystery friend he’d gone to meet last night, and the thought made her smile.
‘That’s better. You’ve got a beautiful smile,’ he said, observing her as usual. She blushed and focused on her food, gobbling down the organic granola as quickly as she could so this whole peculiar episode could end. It was time to go home.
Sara went to pick up Ezra from Hailey’s first. He was sitting on the windowsill in the lounge, waiting for her. She waved when she saw him there, her heart warmed by the instant delight on his face. He disappeared from view, and the minute Hailey opened the door, he threw himself at Sara’s legs. She swung him into her arms, her heart bursting with love for her child, and as she hugged him to her, she had a moment of clarity, an understanding that she’d got her priorities all wrong. Being with her family was all that mattered; everything else was a distraction, taking her away from the people she loved most in the world. Tears sprang to her eyes and she buried her face in Ezra’s neck, filling her nostrils with the scent of him.
Hailey gave her an appraising look as she held open the door. ‘Have a good weekend with… Louise?’ The way she said it, one eyebrow raised, made it very clear she didn’t believe Sara’s story about the hen weekend. ‘Back early, aren’t you?’
Sara smiled and kissed Ezra’s head, avoiding her sister’s gaze. ‘You can have too much of a good thing. Anyway I missed everyone.’
Ezra hugged her tighter. ‘I missed you too, Mummy. You won’t go away again, will you?’
‘No,’ Sara said with certainty. ‘No, I won’t.’
‘We had a good time, though, didn’t we, Ez?’ Hailey ruffled his hair. ‘And we have a surprise, don’t we?’
Ezra wriggled out of Sara’s grasp, sliding down her body until his feet reached the floor. ‘We made cakes. I made you a special one.’ He grabbed her hand, and led her to the kitchen, Hailey following. On the table, centre stage, was a plate full of cupcakes, and sitting on its own was the one he’d made for her, decorated with skittles and sprinkles and lots of icing. Her heart squeezed with love. Her shoulders tensed with guilt.
‘That’s just wonderful,’ she said, choking on the ball of emotion that blocked her throat. ‘Wonderful.’
Hailey packed the cakes into a Tupperware container, and after a brief chat, Sara headed home. Fiona had said she’d drop the girls off, as they were going on a shopping trip to Leeds, which they had been beyond excited about. It was something Sara could rarely bring herself to do these days; it wasn’t just the cost of such an excursion, but Ezra was a reluctant shopper and the girls liked to take their time, which created way too much stress for the day to be enjoyed by any of them. The girls both had some birthday money to spend, so Sara was sure they’d come back laden with bags, and she was excited to see what they’d bought.
Matt was in the lounge, watching TV, when she finally got home. He looked up when she came in, and she smiled at him, a little wary of his response, given the way he’d been acting before she went away. But he surprised her by smiling back before turning his attention to their son, who’d jumped on his lap and was telling him what he’d been doing.
Half an hour later, the girls arrived, faces flushed with excitement, and Sara was swept up in the bustle of getting a meal ready and looking at her daughters’ purchases, which they paraded for her like a fashion show. It was a busy, chatty afternoon and she couldn’t help feeling that they’d all benefited from a little time away from each other. Matt seemed especially cheerful, and that evening, when the children had gone to bed, she found out why.
She’d just returned to the living room with tea for both of them, the room feeling empty, the atmosphere charged with a sudden tension now they were alone. This is it. My chance to come clean, she decided as she carefully put the mugs on the coffee table, her hands shaking so much she was in danger of spilling scalding tea all over the place. But before she could say anything, Matt spoke.
‘I got paid yesterday.’ There was a triumphant gleam in his eye as he waited for her response.
She blinked, wrong-footed, all the words she was about to say disappearing like a wisp of smoke from a lighted match. ‘Fantastic,’ she said after a beat too long, hoping he hadn’t noticed her hesitation. She sat next to him on the sofa, made herself look him in the eye and fixed an enthusiastic smile to her face. ‘Come on then, tell me all about it. It’s been a bit of a mystery, this contract of yours.’
‘They want me to do more.’
He looked so pleased with himself, she wavered about her confession. Maybe it can wait, she thought, her hands fidgeting, pulling at the hem of her T-shirt.
She smiled harder. ‘Well, that’s good, isn’t it?’
He grinned, picked up his tea and blew on the surface before taking a sip. ‘This is just the start. Just you wait. Things are going to be so much better for us.’
‘So…’ Sara tried to remember what he’d said about payment before she went away. ‘They paid you cash?’
‘That’s right.’
‘How much exactly?’
‘Enough to pay off at least one of the credit cards and catch up with the mortgage.’
She bit her lip; his answer was too vague to work out the exact amount. ‘It would be good to save some, wouldn’t it?’ She averted her eyes, brushed imaginary fluff off her jeans. ‘Just in case the next contract takes longer than you think.’
Silence.
There was an edge to his voice when he eventually spoke. ‘You know, it would be really good if you had a bit of confidence in me.’
Oh God, I’ve upset him now. She put out a hand, rubbed his leg. ‘I do. Of course I do. It’s just—’
‘Just what?’ he snapped, making her jump, his good mood in danger of turning nasty.