She smoothed the fabric of the settee, picking at a blob of chocolate as she searched for an answer, still unable to look at him. ‘It feels like we’re still quite vulnerable. Financially, I mean. My full-time contract is only until September. Then they’re reviewing the whole staffing of the community centre to see if they can find cost savings. That’s what I read in the minutes of Fiona’s meeting with the new treasurer.’ She glanced at Matt, grimaced. ‘Might be good to have a nest egg to fall back on.’
If only she could persuade him to put some of his cash in the savings account, she’d be able to pay off a bit of her debt to James. And that would make her feel a whole lot better. What if I can’t pay any back? The idea sent a flutter of panic through her chest. Would James reinstate their deal? Ask her to attend more events with him, maybe more weekends away? If that happened, Matt was bound to find out, and then… Her mind galloped along the line of logic to the worst possible conclusion. Her life as she knew it was hanging in the balance and she had no idea how to tip things in the right direction.
Matt scowled. ‘Since when have you been in charge of how I spend my earnings?’ She bit her lip a little harder, didn’t reply that she was the one who ran the household finances, sorted out the bills. His hands were flying in the air. Annoyance scrunched his forehead into deep furrows. ‘I’m perfectly capable of working out priorities. And anyway, it’s my job to provide for my family, so I’ll do what I see fit without you lording it over me.’ He stared at her. ‘Thing is, I have to invest in the business as well. There’s some new kit I need, so I’ve ordered that. And I’ve thought about savings. I’m not stupid. That’s why I got half the payment in bitcoin.’
Bitcoin? She had no idea what that was, apart from an inkling that it was a computerised currency. ‘But how will…’ She stopped, the look on his face telling her that now was not a good time to be pushing anything that contradicted his view of things. Persuading Matt to do anything against his will was a skilled operation and something she’d had little success with over the years.
He picked up his tea and took a few gulps before standing. ‘Look, I’m sorry to get a bit uptight.’ He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, eyes on the ground for a moment before he caught her gaze. ‘It’s just… Well, it’s my job to look after you all, and I think I’ve done all right up to now.’ His eyes challenged her. ‘Haven’t I?’
‘You’ve been brilliant,’ she said, all enthusiastic because she could sense trouble in his tone.
‘Well, you’ll just have to trust me, then.’ He crouched in front of her, hands on her knees, and leant forward to give her a tender kiss, taking her by surprise. ‘I’m doing this for us, so we don’t have to worry about the future. Honestly, Sara. This could be big. Really big.’
‘I’d just like to know…’ She tried to stop herself, but the question was too enormous to keep inside any longer. ‘Is it legal?’
He stared at her for a moment, clearly thrown. ‘I just write code,’ he said at last. ‘What people do with that is nothing to do with me.’
He got up and walked into the kitchen. She heard the back door open, then close, leaving her with nothing but a chattering disquiet. Instead of the money she stole getting them out of trouble, it seemed his activities might land them in it. We could both end up in prison. She shuddered. The idea that her children would be on their own, facing the uncertainties that had marred her own childhood, made her squeeze her eyes shut and pinch the bridge of her nose to stop herself from descending into sobs of self-pity.
In doing what she’d thought was for the best, she now found herself in the worst possible situation. Caught in a marriage that made her feel helpless, with a man who was building their future on something that was probably criminal, indebted to another man who had an agenda she didn’t understand, while she herself was guilty of a crime that could separate her from her family if she was found out.
It can’t get any worse than this, she told herself.
But it did.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Later that evening, Sara was making herself a sandwich when Matt flung open the back door and charged into the kitchen, the door bouncing against the wall as he waved his phone in the air.
‘What the hell do you call this?’ His face was scrunched in an angry snarl, a vein popping out on his forehead.
She stopped buttering bread, clutched the knife a little more tightly in her hand as she tried to guess what he was talking about. Had someone spotted her and James together? Had she been seen having cosy chats over coffee, candlelit dinners with champagne, giggling her way back to her room, leaning on James for support? Her pulse sped up as the possibilities scrolled through her mind, every image incriminating if taken out of context.
He thrust his phone in front of her face, and it took a minute for her eyes to adjust and her brain to register what she was seeing. A video clip. One that made her recoil in disgust. A naked man and woman on a bed. The man stroking a hand up and down the woman’s leg before it started creeping higher, towards her breast.
She pushed the phone away. ‘What do I want to see that for?’ she snapped.
He looked at her as if she’d gone mad. ‘It’s you.’ He pointed at the figure, slowly enunciating every word. ‘That is you.’
She frowned, confused. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘Look at the tattoo on her thigh.’ His fingers snatched at the screen, making the image bigger.
Her eyes grew round, a terrible sinking feeling in her chest. Her legs weakened and she leant against the worktop for support. He was right. Her tattoo was very distinctive: the names of her three children entwined with roses. She made herself watch the video for a moment, disgust churning the contents of her stomach as the man’s hands roamed over her body. She seemed to be responding with little grunts and movements – although she had no recollection of any of it happening.
James. That was her first thought. Then she noticed a signet ring on the little finger of the man’s hand. A red stone set in gold. It wasn’t James. The skin on her scalp pulled tight with the horror of what she was seeing, her heart skipping and flipping in her chest. Who the hell is it?
‘I knew it!’ Matt shouted, stomping up and down the kitchen, hands waving in the air. ‘I knew you were having an affair. You can’t deny it now, can you?’
Her mouth opened, her head full of denial, but shock made the words stick in her throat, still no clue as to who the man was or how it had happened.
Finally she found her voice. ‘Who sent you that? How did—’
‘Doesn’t matter, does it?’ he snapped.
She looked at the screen again, noticing that the clip went on for almost an hour. An hour! Oh my God. What’s he doing to me? She watched in appalled silence as the man’s fingers trailed ever so slowly from her ankle to her knee, before inching higher. She couldn’t bear to see any more, didn’t want to know what else had happened in the hour of filming. This had to be something to do with James. Fury flared in her chest as she sent the file to herself, determined to confront him with the evidence.