‘You’re not listening!’ Hailey snapped, her words rushing out in an angry hurry, the volume cranked up so Sara would take notice. ‘Look, I’m not sure I even want you in my house. You’ve hurt all the people I love most in the world. The girls are fuming, and have told Cassie, so she’s upset and mad with you as well. And someone has told Matt you were with James at the weekend, so that’s added fuel to the fire.’
Sara gasped, horrified. Who would have done that? ‘Someone? Which someone specifically? Did you tell him, Hailey?’ She must have done, because nobody else knew.
‘No, I bloody didn’t! But I guess it’s a small world, isn’t it? People see things.’
‘What people? Who?’
‘I don’t know. I didn’t ask.’ Hailey was beyond impatient now. ‘Look, I’ve got to go. I’m working. I’ll talk to you later.’
Sara stared at her phone, shocked by her sister’s attitude. She’d been so supportive yesterday, but now she’d spoken to Matt, she’d become just short of hostile. She checked the community centre schedule for the day and was relieved to find that she’d done everything she needed to for the groups who were using the facilities. There were plenty of volunteers around who knew where everything was, and she didn’t think she’d be missed if she took an early lunch. She grabbed her bag and left.
Poor Ezra. She knew how impatient Matt could get with his fussy little ways, the clothes he would and wouldn’t wear, the cuddly animals that had to keep him company at the table or he wouldn’t eat. She hurried to the car, pulse racing as she thought about Matt’s rage the night before, hoping he’d calmed down.
Hailey’s words echoed in her mind, and she wondered what Matt had told the girls. It was half-term this week, so the girls would be at home, and she bit her lip as she drove, terrified of what she was about to face.
By the time she pulled up outside the house, she was sweating. How do I have a conversation with Matt without upsetting the kids? Would he even let her see them? The severity of her predicament started to hit home, the possibility that she could be separated from her family. Her very worst fear. She’d vowed that it would never happen to her, that she wouldn’t repeat her mother’s mistakes. She would be different, her life would be different – and it had been, up to a point. But there were also similarities she’d chosen to ignore.
She pushed the thoughts from her head and hurried to the front door, put her key in the lock, but the door wouldn’t budge. The bolt was on. She went round to the side door, frightened that she was locked out of her own house. Tentatively she tried the handle, letting out the breath she was holding when it opened.
Sophia and Amelia were in the kitchen, making toasties, and looked up when Sara walked in, their expressions quickly changing from surprise to anger.
‘Does Dad know you’re here?’ Sophia demanded, looking over her shoulder towards the lounge.
‘I’ve come to talk to him,’ Sara said, unsure how to play this, feeling so vulnerable not knowing what the girls did and didn’t know.
‘Well, he doesn’t want to talk to you.’ Sophia’s hands were on her hips, her body blocking the way through.
‘In fact,’ Amelia snapped, eyes flashing, ‘none of us want to talk to you.’
Sara stopped, startled by the venom in their voices, desperate to hold her daughters, hug them to her and explain what had happened. But she couldn’t, and it broke her heart.
‘Cheater,’ Sophia said, pointing at her. ‘You’ve ruined everything.’
‘Dad!’ Amelia shouted. ‘Mum’s here.’
Suddenly Matt appeared from the hallway, and before she could react, he was bundling her out of the back door, which he shut behind him, standing in front of it like a bouncer, arms folded across his chest.
‘You’re not welcome here.’ There was a stony look on his face, and as her hopes went into free fall, her mouth went into overdrive, gabbling her excuses before he could go back inside.
‘Matt, please let me explain. I was drugged. Unconscious. I can show you, but the video has disappeared off my phone. You must have a copy, though.’
She clung to his arm, eyes pleading with him, hoping that she’d put some doubt in his mind, made his case against her crack just a little bit.
He peeled her fingers off. ‘I can’t believe a word you say. You’re as bad as your mother, aren’t you?’ He sneered at her. ‘I deleted that filth.’
She ignored his jibe, concentrated on practicalities, not wanting to believe he’d destroyed the evidence. ‘You can’t have deleted it from my phone.’
‘I did.’
‘But how?’
He gave a derisive snort. ‘You wouldn’t understand if I told you.’
She closed her eyes, tried to calm herself down. She knew she had to stay rational, not fight back; that was the best way with Matt. Taking a deep breath she looked him in the eye, her voice low and urgent. ‘I’m so sorry I haven’t been completely honest with you, but I got myself in a situation I couldn’t get out of. Please let me explain.’
He glared at her, the stony expression back on his face, but at least he was still there. This was her chance.
She began to speak, and at last she was able to tell him everything. Matt’s face didn’t change, his eyes ice cold.
‘Finished?’ he asked when she finally stopped talking.
She nodded.
He pointed at her. ‘You need to learn to listen. That’s your problem. Always thinking you know best.’ He gave an angry snort. ‘You think you can distract me with this story about stealing money for me, don’t you? Think I’ll somehow overlook the fact that you went away for a weekend with your lover and ended up having some sort of kinky sex with these other guys, and one of them filmed it.’
She gasped, couldn’t believe he could think like that. ‘No, Matt. No. That’s not what—’
He stepped back a pace, his hand on the door handle, hatred in his eyes. ‘I’m not listening to any more of your lies. Goodbye, Sara.’
‘But what about—’ He went inside before she could finish, slamming the door behind him. She heard the lock turn, the bolt ram home.
The strength drained out of her legs, along with any hope that she could persuade Matt of her innocence. She leant against the wall, sliding slowly to the ground, too shocked to cry or scream, her mind an empty vessel with the final goodbye echoing inside it.
That’s it, we’re over. Eighteen years they’d been together, and look how quickly they’d been torn apart, her family ripped from her before she could understand what risks she was taking, what danger she was in.
By trying to make good on a bad decision, she’d ruined everything.
Just like Mum, she thought. Matt wasn’t far wrong with that. He’d thrown it at her as an insult, the worst insult he could think of. He’d never had a good opinion of Sara’s mother. But Sara understood now what had happened in her mum’s life. It hadn’t been wilful neglect; it was a struggle for survival.
She dragged herself to her feet. I have to get through this. I have to be there for my kids.
Hailey will know what to do, she thought as she trudged back to her car. She turned for a last look at the house, and there was Ezra, his face at the lounge window. He was crying, banging on the glass, wanting to be with her. She couldn’t bear it, and turned back, desperate to comfort him, but although she rang and rang at the doorbell, hammered on the door, nobody answered, and when she looked again at the window, Ezra had gone and the curtains were closed.