She ran the shower, washing every inch of her body, then doing it all over again, the water as hot as she could stand it. Finally, when the water ran cold, she dried herself and went into the bedroom, finding an oversized T-shirt and dressing gown that Hailey had put out for her. On shaky legs she made her way downstairs, feeling distanced from herself somehow, the reality of what had happened almost impossible to comprehend.
Hailey was in the kitchen making tea. ‘I’ve put extra sugar in yours for the shock,’ she said, handing Sara a mug before they both sat at the table. ‘Don’t you worry, we’ll get the bastards who did this.’
Sara wasn’t sure they would. How can we even start to find out who’s behind it? She was shrivelling up inside, disgust and shame stamping on any self-worth that might have been in there. She thought about James, how lovely he’d been to her, so kind and caring she’d actually thought he might be a little in love with her. But there was another puzzle to solve.
‘What I don’t get,’ she said, as she slumped into her seat, ‘is who sent the video to Matt. And why.’
Hailey stared at her, gave a derisive snort. ‘Are you blind?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, it has to be James. He wants you for himself.’ She pursed her lips, getting her argument in order before she spoke. ‘Look at his behaviour, the way he’s been grooming you. You told him how jealous Matt is. You told him if Matt found out you’d been going out with another man, he’d blow a fuse.’ She pointed at the phone, which Sara had brought down with her. ‘Looks like he just threw a stick of dynamite into your marriage. And I suppose he’ll be around to pick up the pieces.’ She took a sip of tea and gave a dismissive huff. ‘Oh yes, I’ve met his sort.’
Sara scrunched up her nose. ‘I’m not sure that makes sense. Wouldn’t he know I’d work out it was him?’
Hailey took another sip of tea, frowned. ‘Hmm. I see your point.’
‘And I see yours. Maybe neither of us is quite right.’ Sara ran her hands through her wet hair, teasing out the knots. ‘Whatever game he’s playing, I haven’t a clue what outcome he’s looking for. Does he want to make me helpless?’
They sat in silence for a moment, thinking.
‘Well, we can theorise as much as we like,’ Hailey said with a sigh. ‘Only James knows the truth. You’re going to have to ask him.’ She must have noticed her sister’s appalled expression and reached across the table, grasped Sara’s hand. ‘I can come with you, if you like.’
Sara was tempted, but shook her head. ‘I think he’s more likely to tell the truth if it’s just me. Perhaps this is how I’m supposed to repay my debt, but he couldn’t tell me because I’d never agree.’ She chewed her lip. ‘You see, that’s what doesn’t make sense. I had no idea any of this had happened. He could have just carried on organising little getaways, making me think it was a treat for me and companionship for him. But now I know… well, I’ll never go anywhere with him ever again.’
‘What if he says you have to, or he’ll tell Fiona and the police about you stealing the money?’
‘I’m not sure he would, though, because surely he covered up a crime by paying what I owed?’ Her head was aching, and she rubbed at her temples, trying to ease the pain. ‘The deal is off, I’ve already told him that. But I need to know if there’s any more video footage.’ She felt the blood drain from her face, hands covering her mouth the moment she’d spoken the words. ‘I was there for two nights.’
What else did they do to me?
A shiver of revulsion ran through her. ‘I’ve got to go to bed. Honestly, I can’t think about this any more.’ Her jaw clenched. ‘But tomorrow, I’m going to get to the truth.’
Hailey nodded. ‘And I’ll have a chat with Matt. See if I can get him to reconsider.’
‘It’s a deal.’ Sara flashed a quick smile at her sister before making her way upstairs.
As she lay in bed, her head on the pillow that smelt of Ezra, she ached for her children, for the life that she’d had. The life that she appeared to have lost.
Unless I can work out a way to get it back.
With that thought in her head, and determination in her heart, she finally fell asleep.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Sara woke suddenly, a loud bang making her sit up, wondering where she was for a moment. Then she remembered she was at Hailey’s house. A child’s clock sat on the bedside table, with big numbers and a picture of SpongeBob SquarePants on the dial. It was seven o’clock, and Sara knew that Hailey went out jogging every morning, whatever the weather. Had that been the door banging?
She covered her head with the duvet, not ready to face the day, but memories of the previous evening crowded into her mind, jabbering at her, filling her head with shouting and images she didn’t want to see. Today was going to be a make-or-break sort of a day. A day to find out exactly what was going on with James and persuade Matt that she was the victim of a crime rather than a cheating wife.
Take control, she told herself as she threw back the duvet and went for a shower. You can’t let the bastards win.
With her pep talk in mind, she dressed in yesterday’s clothes and went down to the kitchen to get the coffee on, thinking that she’d have to borrow an outfit off Hailey for work, including a pair of shoes. They were a similar height, and although Hailey was slimmer, she favoured stretchy sports clothes, which made her feel more approachable to the youngsters she worked with. Sara was sure there’d be something she could squeeze into.
‘You’re looking a little casual today,’ Fiona said when Sara reached the office and found her sitting behind the desk looking at something on the computer. She didn’t usually appear this early, and never on a Monday, due to other work commitments, and it caught Sara by surprise. She blushed as Fiona looked her up and down, the expression on her face an indication that she didn’t approve.
‘Long story,’ she said, adjusting the oversized T-shirt that Hailey used as a nightshirt. It was the only top she had that was big enough and Sara was wearing it over black leggings, with trainers that were a size too big. From a distance, it didn’t look too bad, and was the sort of ensemble a lot of the young mums wore. Not to work, though.
She was hoping to go home at lunchtime, when Matt wouldn’t be expecting her, and see if she could have a sensible conversation with him. She’d decided that she would have to make a complete confession if he was going to believe she wasn’t having an affair and allow her back home. It would be a relief, she thought, to tell him about her failed investment and her debt to James. Once everything was out in the open, maybe it would encourage him to be more honest about his own business dealings.
‘Did Louise enjoy herself?’ Fiona said as she finished what she was doing and stood, hitching her bag on her shoulder.
Sara frowned, wondering for a moment who Louise was.
‘Have I got her name wrong?’ Fiona gave a little laugh. ‘I’m so bad at names. Anyway, did you have a good weekend?’
Sara moved towards the spare desk, where she had been sorting out some files for archiving, not wanting to catch Fiona’s eye. ‘Lovely, thanks. And my girls had a wonderful time with Chelsea. All that shopping, they think they’ve been to heaven.’ She flushed, embarrassed that she hadn’t rung Fiona the previous evening to thank her. ‘I should have been in touch. You must think I’m awful, it’s just…’