‘Seriously, Lottie,’ I told her.
I moved away from her. Oli was waiting for me, and her jaw was set.
‘What the hell?’ Oli asked. ‘She should have fucked you on the dance floor. That girl is trouble.’
‘She’s a little drunk. Don’t take any notice of her.’
‘Don’t give me that crap,’ Oli said, raising her voice a little and a few guests scowled at us. ‘I heard Davian talking to Abdel.’
‘What?’
‘I’ve heard everything. He told him Lottie wants you for her own. Your own best friend said that.’
I wanted to kill him with my bare hands. Davian doesn’t think before he speaks. Oli walked away and I chased after her.
***
I found Abdel outside smoking a cigarette. I placed my hand over his shoulder, but he brushed it away.
‘What’s going on?’ he demanded. ‘What is going on between you and him? I know what I saw in there.’ Abdel took a long drag of his cigarette, ‘You’re sleeping with him, aren’t you?’
My heart jumped out of my chest. ‘Anthony and I are friends. What I did was silly, but-‘
‘Silly? You’re into him! Am I supposed to believe you knew him all of those years and the thought never crossed your mind?’
I placed my hand over my chest. ‘No, never.’
He shook his head in disbelief.
‘What did Davian say to you?’ I asked.
‘That you two are more than just friends.’
My hands clenched into fists. ‘That son of a bitch!’
‘I don’t want you to talk to him anymore,’ Abdel said, crushing the cigarette under his heel.
My heart began to pound loud now. Stop talking to Anthony? That is not happening.
‘But he’s my friend, I’m not going to give him up’
He pointed his finger. ‘You are not willing to give up a friend for me?’
I took a step closer as if to challenge him. ‘No, I’m not. How would you feel if I asked you to give up a friend of yours?’
‘It’s clear we are not in the same place. At least quit that job.’
‘What?’ I raised my voice now.
‘Quit. I don’t want you to work there anymore.’
Heat rushed through me. ‘You want me to stop talking to Anthony and quit my job. What do I do then?’
Abdel's face softened a little. ‘I’ll take care of you.’
I pulled a face. ‘Take care of me? Am I not capable of taking care of myself? I am not your property.’
‘I will support you until you find another job.’
‘No!’
‘No?’
He placed his hand over his head as if he’d forgotten something. ‘It’s been bothering me for quite a while now.’
I searched his face. ‘What’s been bothering you?’
‘Davian, he’s a problem too. I think he’s the biggest problem of them all. I come to surprise my girlfriend and find her alone with him in the copy room in an empty office!’
I crossed my hands beneath my chest. ‘We are co-workers.’
Abdel took a step closer to me, his face tight, his jaw clenched. I’d never seen him like this, so jealous and insecure.
‘Is that what you tell yourself, you two are co-workers?’
I drop my hands to my side. ‘There is nothing going on between me and Anthony or Davian. I’m with you, aren’t I?’
‘Yeah, as a substitute.’
‘What is that supposed to mean?’
He looked across the empty street. ‘I saw the way you look at Davian. I can give you the moon and you never look at me that way.’
‘That’s not true.’
‘You can lie to me, but you can’t lie to yourself.’ He lowered his head. ‘I can’t do this. I’m sorry, but I can’t.’
‘Abdel, I...‘
I attempted to take a step towards him, but he stopped me. ‘Don’t, it’s over.’
Tears prickled. ‘No, no.’
He walked backwards. ‘You can have both of them now.’
‘But I want you.’
‘Goodbye, Lottie.’
I watched him walk out of my life, watched the closeness replacing itself with distance. I kept on watching. Hoping he’d change his mind and turn around and tell me he was sorry, he didn’t mean it, but the darkness swallowed him, leaving me shaking with tears. Lilia came out.
‘Lottie, honey, what’s wrong?’ she asked, placing her hand on my back.
I wrapped my arms around her. ‘It’s over.’
‘What’s over?’
‘Abdel, he dumped me,’ I said between sobs.
A volcanic heat rushed into me and it twirled into my beating, aching heart. I attempted to push past Lilia, but she held me by the shoulder. I had to find Davian, confront him, cause a scene, and fling a drink in his perfect, stupid face. I hated him.
‘Let me go!’ I shouted.
‘And if I do? What are you going to do?’
‘Have a word with him.’ My blood boiled, it steamed into my face, making my head explode, ‘Davian did this. He said something to Abdel.’
‘He’s not worth it, let him be.’
‘Let him be!’ I said. ‘He just ruined my relationship! I’ll ruin his too and see how he feels about that!’
She shook me as mascara smudged all over my eyes. My chest quivered as big fat tears came pouring out of me. ‘I’ll take you home, but you’re not going in there or anywhere near Davian.’
‘Where is Anthony?’
‘He left, apparently. His girlfriend wasn’t too happy with you.’
***
As for Oli, she dumped me on the spot. She wasn’t going to take this bullshit, trying to compete with a girl who obviously has my heart, as Oli had put it. The next day, I woke up as if I had a massive hangover, although I’d hardly had a drink at the party. I found twenty missed calls from Lottie. She was the last person I wanted to talk to. Another five missed calls from Davian. I didn’t want to talk to him, either. Ella called. I took her call and she told me Lottie had been dumped and she was a mess. She must have thought about the outcome before pulling that stunt in front of everyone. Did I blame Abdel? No, she had it coming. The guy was patient with her. I didn’t understand why she had to ruin my relationship in the process.
Chapter Seventeen
I jolt upright. It was morning, and I had fallen asleep on the kitchen table. There is a plate from last night, with the overflowing ashtray and dirty mugs. The memories of the party came strong and hard. I rub my sore neck, make myself a cup of coffee and continue where I left off.
***
Lottie’s Recordings. Clip twelve
I went to work and returned to an empty home. I haven’t heard from Abdel and I made no attempts to call. I don’t think he wanted to hear from me. Davian didn’t show his face, which was for the best. I wasn’t sure what I’d do if I saw him. Giselle locked herself in the office, and sometimes she sent me to buy supplies for the next exhibition, which is Davian’s. She must have heard what happened, but she didn’t question me, not that I expect her to. Giselle is my boss. What matters to her is that I do my job and do it right. I called Anthony hundreds of times, but my calls went unanswered. My apartment feels like a tomb; the mail holds no letters of any significance or importance, and I’m single again. I have caused this. I brought this on myself. Davian has nothing to do with this; no, he does, and he shouldn’t have said what he said. It’s easier to blame him, to put a fault on someone else. A few days before Davian’s big exhibition, I met Ella for a drink.