“Sadly, it is all familiar,” I say. I try to keep my sarcasm in check as all I want for this night is for it to be over.
“Hopefully, one way or another, it will be your last time with us.” This could be taken as kind or as evil, and I’m not sure what to make of it. Is he cheering for my conviction? Is he still convinced after everything he has seen that I did this? Fuck. If he thinks that, then what will a jury think? I feel the beginnings of a panic attack, but I do a breathing exercise and focus on the realization that I can’t solve anything, not here, not now anyway, and I come back down to earth.
“I’m gonna leave you with these guys for a minute,” Sheriff Stevens nods at a couple of blue-uniformed gentlemen with unpleasant expressions. “I just have to ask though… why? You knew you had the ankle bracelet on. You knew we would find you. You knew it would only make things worse. So why?”
“Because I didn’t do it, and no one is listening to me.”
“I see.” Sheriff Stevens stands still for a moment looking down at the floor as if he will somehow find an answer hidden within the pattern of the gray paint flaking off the roughly poured concrete floor. He then looks up at me and opens his mouth to speak, but all that comes out is a breath. He closes his mouth, shakes his head, and walks back toward the entrance of the station.
“Mr. Adam Morgan, is it?” one of the deputies asks.
“Yeah, that’s me.”
“Are we gonna do this the easy way or am I gonna have to drag you by those goddamn handcuffs to cooperate, because I’m good either way, but you scream ‘flight risk’ to me,” the deputy says with a full-toothed smile, all while smacking his gum as loud as possible for emphasis.
“I won’t be any trouble this evening, sir.” I’m too tired to fight anymore.
“Smart decision.”
I wonder what Sarah must think of all of this. I mean I know the obvious parts. The anger, disappointment, shock at my stupidity, but what about what I was saying? She must know deep down that I wouldn’t have made that all-for-nothing excursion for no reason, knowing full well it would land me in a world of hurt. I just hope somebody, anybody, will finally start listening to me. But based on that scene at the office, the only person who thinks I’m not insane, Scott Summers, decided to go Rodney King on a respected defense attorney and now looks more like Mike Tyson than a distressed widower.
Just how fucked am I at this point?
I’m not sure I even want to know the answer.
46
Sarah Morgan
The visitor’s lot is nearly empty when Matthew and I arrive at the station. We walk toward the entrance. Matthew gives me an encouraging look and a nod as he holds the door for me.
“You’ve got this,” he says.
“Thanks.” My lips form into a small, tight smile.
I walk into the waiting area, shoulders back, chin held high. I’m going to need to muster up all my strength and confidence to get through this evening.
“May I help you?” Marge asks through bulletproof plexiglass.
“I’m just waiting.”
“Need you to sign in,” she says, pushing a clipboard under the plexiglass.
Matt and I walk over and scribble down our info. We take a seat in the reception area, waiting for Bob and Anne to arrive. I’ll deal with Adam after I’ve heard both their interviews.
“Think they’ll come?” Matthew asks.
“If they’re innocent, they will,” I offer, although I’m not convinced them showing up would have anything to do with their innocence. But as they say, innocent people don’t run.
Less than twenty minutes later, Anne and Bob arrive. They sit on the opposite side of the waiting area. Bob stares off into the distance rubbing his temples, and Anne is still intermittently crying while hanging her head in shame. My face is twisted in a way that clearly conveys disgust, and the only question that repeats over and over in my head as I glower at Bob and Anne is, who are these people?
Time slowly melts as the four of us float in purgatory. Our only punishment is being in each other’s company. The awkwardness of the situation and Anne’s shame mixed with Bob’s anger are palpable and make the time drag even slower. I never thought I would be feeling this, but I’m really looking forward to seeing Sheriff Stevens.
Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, the front door of the police station opens and in walks Eleanor, dressed in all black, looking like the Grim Reaper. I stand, ready to fill her in on everything that’s transpired while she’s been gone, but before I can even get out a phony welcome, she’s standing directly in front of me with lips pursed so tightly it looks like her filler might ooze out.
“How could you let this happen? I was gone for one day!” She practically spits in my face.
“Eleanor. Your son is thirty-six years old. He’s a grown adult and responsible for his own actions. I can’t watch him 24/7.”
“No, you obviously can’t. And that’s probably why he was unfaithful to you.” She raises her chin.
I take a small breath. Don’t hit her. Don’t hit her. Don’t hit her. “That’s really not fair. I’m doing everything I can for his case.” I stand a bit taller, trying to make myself bigger than her.
“There shouldn’t even be a case. He’s innocent. But now he’s going to face charges for assault and bail jumping because you couldn’t keep an eye on him.”
“Eleanor. Just stop. You’re being ridiculous.” I shake my head.
“Am I? You couldn’t even keep an eye on your own mother… and look what happened to her.” The corners of her mouth curve into a grin as if she’s pleased with her little comment.
Anne lets out an audible gasp. Bob shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Matthew half stands but then sits back down. I’d love to knock her out and bash her skull into the ground over and over again until I see brain—if she even has one. But I don’t need to defend myself for murder as well. I have to put an end to Eleanor’s involvement in this case and in my life, and I know just what to say. I take a deep breath.
“Your son is a liar, a cheater, and possibly a murderer. Your coddling and over-the-top mothering has gotten Adam into this mess. The best thing you could do as a mother is to take note from mine and kill yourself.”
Eleanor’s eyes widen to a new level and her mouth gapes. She raises her hand and slaps me hard across the face. “You wouldn’t know a mother’s love, you little bitch.”
It stings, and I put my hand to it. When I take my fingers away there is a smear of blood from where her ring made contact with my cheek.
Eleanor takes a step back. Her teeth are clenched, and the fire in her eyes is still burning strong.
Matthew stands and wraps his arm around me, inspecting my face. He turns to Eleanor and says calmly, “You should go. You won’t be able to see Adam tonight anyway.”
The security door adjacent to the reception area beeps, and a large figure crosses the threshold. “What the hell is going on here?” Sheriff Stevens glances at myself and then Eleanor. She straightens herself up, tilts her head into the air and does an about-face, scurrying out of the police station back into whatever five-star hole she is occupying.