To say I’m persona non grata is something of an understatement. As I enter A&E and am advised by the receptionist where I can find Daisy Stent, I’ve only made it halfway down the line of cubicles when Pippa launches herself at me.
‘A bit sodding late to show up now,’ she says, not bothering to keep her voice down.
I look apologetically at one of the nurses, who glances over. Pippa’s never been one to mix her words. She says exactly what she’s thinking. It’s something that I love about her and it has caused much amusement in the past. We joke that she has no filter, but today it’s not so funny being on the receiving end of her sharp tongue.
‘Pippa, I’m so sorry. Really sorry. I got held up. My phone was on silent. Sorry.’ It sounds pathetic and I am pathetic.
‘What the hell happened? Where were you?’ Pippa’s eyes are burning with anger, but I can also see they are red from crying.
‘I had an argument at home. I needed to get out of the house. I’m sorry, Pip, honestly I am. How’s Daisy?’
‘Broken arm. Baz is in there with her. They’re going to put a cast on it in a minute.’
‘Is there anything I can do?’
‘What? I don’t think so. The only thing you had to do was to pick the girls up, but you didn’t manage that. Why the hell did Alice get them?’
‘She was the only one available.’ I don’t want to tell Pippa that Luke was asleep. It’s bad enough that one of us has failed big time at parenting. I go to offer yet another apology but am cut off by Pippa.
‘Look, Clare, we all make mistakes, I know that, but when you’re responsible for a child, someone else’s child, there’s no room for mistakes. I haven’t said anything to Baz, but before he got here, Daisy told me that Alice pushed her on purpose.’
‘What? Oh, don’t be ridiculous. Alice wouldn’t do that.’
‘You can think what you like, but Daisy doesn’t tell lies. Not about things like this, she wouldn’t. And I know all that bullshit about parents thinking their child is an angel, I know Daisy’s not, but she wouldn’t lie about something like that.’
‘Maybe she’s mistaken,’ I suggest, inwardly preparing myself to bat away more of Pippa’s wrath. Would Alice intentionally harm a child? It seems a bit much to believe and why would she do it? It just doesn’t make sense. And yet, there’s a tiny voice at the back of my mind that is challenging my thought process. It wouldn’t be the first time Alice has done something different from the perceived norm. Pippa’s reply interrupts my thoughts.
‘Daisy’s not mistaken. I asked Hannah and she just kept saying she doesn’t know what happened.’
‘Well, perhaps she doesn’t know.’ The mother in me automatically leapfrogs over my professional brain to the defence of my daughter. ‘I’m sure Hannah’s not lying.’
‘In just the same way as I’m sure Daisy isn’t. You ask Hannah and you tell me if she’s telling the truth or not.’
‘Pippa, that’s out of order. Hannah wouldn’t lie.’ I mentally cross my fingers. I’m sure all children lie at some time. ‘Not about something like this.’
‘Depends who’s applying the pressure,’ says Pippa.
‘Where are Alice and Hannah, anyway?’
‘Gone. I didn’t want her hanging around and Hannah was upset.’
‘Can I see Daisy?’
‘What for? To cross-examine her about the incident? Are you going to get her to swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth?’
‘Pippa, please.’
‘Look, Clare. Now’s not a good time. I need to get back to Daisy. You need to get back to your family and sort out whatever the hell is going on.’
I nod, accepting Pippa’s decision. ‘Okay, I am sorry, Pippa, you do know that, don’t you?’
‘I’ve got to go,’ says Pippa.
‘Yeah, sure. I’ll make it up to the girls when Daisy comes for a sleepover at the weekend. If her arm’s okay, that is. Even if she just came for tea. Yeah?’
Pippa looks long and hard at me. ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea right now.’
‘Hannah will be devastated,’ I say, thinking how much Hannah is looking forward to the sleepover. She has it all planned, a mini make-over, party tea, a movie and popcorn, followed by a sleepover. She’s been planning it for weeks.
‘I’m not comfortable with Daisy being anywhere near Alice and I’m not even sure Daisy would want to be at yours now, not after this. Don’t take it personally, Clare, it’s not you it’s your sister.’
‘But you’re punishing Hannah for my mistake.’
‘And don’t you think Daisy has been punished too? She’s got a broken arm. For God’s sake, Clare. Stop thinking about yourself all the time. Daisy won’t be coming for a sleepover. I don’t want her anywhere near your creepy fucking sister. End of.’
Chapter 17
When I arrive home, the reception is just as frosty from everyone as it was at the hospital. The only one pleased to see me is Hannah. She rushes up to me and hugs me. I feel so guilty for not being there to collect her from Brownies. I’ve let her down and I’ve let Daisy down. If only I hadn’t gone to Tom’s and had those brandies, then I wouldn’t have fallen asleep and missed it. I still don’t know how my phone ended up on silent. I hug Hannah back tightly, drawing on her love. It’s the only comfort I’m going to get tonight. Chloe is already fast asleep in bed, so Luke informs me.
I spend the next hour with Hannah, bathing her, washing her hair and getting her ready for bed. I haven’t asked her about the incident at the playground yet but as we snuggle up on the sofa together, just me and her, while she has a glass of milk and biscuit before bed, it’s Hannah who brings the subject up first.
‘Is Daisy going to be okay?’ she asks.
I look down at my daughter’s worried little face and honestly feel so overcome with emotion that I could cry. ‘Yes, she will be. She’s broken her arm and the doctors have put a plaster cast on it. You know, like the one nanny had when she fell over last year.’
‘What colour is it?’
‘I don’t know. I didn’t see it. I only spoke to Daisy’s mummy. Now don’t be worrying, Daisy will be fine.’ I don’t want to upset Hannah even more by telling her what Pippa said about the sleepover. Maybe Pippa will have calmed down by next weekend and will let Daisy come after all. I’ve already decided to give it a couple of days before I call Pippa and see if we can smooth things over. I don’t have many friends and, although that’s never been a real problem for me in the past, right now I could do with an ally, especially as Luke seems to have defected.
‘Did you see what happened at the park?’ I ask Hannah, hoping my voice sounds relaxed.
Hannah circles the rim of the cup with her finger. ‘No.’
‘What? Nothing at all?’
‘No. Daisy fell over. I don’t know what happened.’
‘You know you can tell me, don’t you? Remember how you told me about the photo frame when Alice said not to? Well, it’s like that. You can tell me, even if she said you shouldn’t.’