‘Maybe she’s just lonely? Do you know if she gets any visitors? Has any family nearby?’
‘How would I know? I’ve not stopped to ask her life story. She’s always having a go at me. Stupid stuff like making sure the entrance door closes properly behind me and not playing my music too loud. She’s a right pain.’
‘And the other flat?’
‘That’s Luke. You’ll never see him. He’s in his mid-thirties or something, works in computers I think and obsessed with gaming. He’s like a vampire – all skinny and pale, doesn’t like sunlight. Nice-looking though if that’s your thing. I had a one-nighter with him once last year. Didn’t go anywhere with it ’cos he doesn’t say much. I don’t think he earns much money doing whatever it is he does. He’s harmless enough though.’ She looked at her watch. ‘Shit, I have to go. I need to get Ben home for—’ She broke off, flicked her eyes at Maddie, then said, ‘You know, nap and stuff…’
‘Oh, yes, right. Well, why don’t you take the rest of the picnic with you? There’s cut-up vegetables, hummus, that kind of thing.’
‘Thanks, but that’s all a bit healthy for me.’
‘Ben can have it later?’
Jade fidgeted. ‘Oh, don’t worry. I have his lunch planned already, but thanks anyway. Ben! Time to go, come on.’
Maddie couldn’t work Jade out. One minute she was biting Maddie’s hand off for free crisps and the next she was turning down freebies. Maybe hummus just wasn’t her thing.
Ben looked up from where he had been digging in the wet soil and obediently toddled over to them. Jade strapped him into the pushchair. ‘You coming?’
Maddie paused, then said, ‘I might stay here for a bit, actually. It’s nice. Fresh air.’
Jade raised her eyebrows. ‘Whatever. Suit yourself. I wouldn’t spend any more time than I had to around other people’s kids and dogs, but knock yourself out. I’ll Snapchat you later, yeah?’
‘Ok. Bye, Ben,’ Maddie said with a big smile. He smiled back and waved, and she watched them walk away, feeling inexplicably sad for him.
To Maddie, he looked like a child who really needed a hug.
She wanted to give him that hug.
He would be happier with me.
The thought came and went in an instant, but left an indelible mark.
THEN
There is a nervous tension in the room as everyone watches the countdown. My dress is tight around my chest, but it’s worth it from the admiring glances Greg has been shooting me all night.
I sip at the champagne I’m holding, but it tastes metallic and bitter, so I put it on the table next to me as the room starts to chant: ‘Ten, nine, eight…’
I feel Greg slip his arm around my shoulders as he counts down with everyone else and I look over at this man, who I love more than I love myself, and I think how happy I am. I look down at the shiny square-cut diamond on my finger and smile to myself. There is only one thing that could make the next year better than the one that’s just passed and that would be for us to start a family.
It was my idea to start trying for a baby straight after we get married in a few months. I hope it won’t take too long. I eat well; I run three times a week; I don’t drink much. But sometimes these things do take a while, don’t they?
The business is still in its initial stages, but growing steadily, thanks to Greg’s dad and his generous investment. We are still a small operation and there are months when we teeter between having enough money to pay our small team of staff and paying ourselves as well, but we’ve decided to give a family a go.
And it’s all I can think about now that it’s a possibility.
Greg is less keen. He likes having me all to himself, I think, and he’s really invested in getting the business profitable as quickly as possible.
I’m surprised at how broody I have become so quickly. Now that I’ve accepted that I won’t be an award-winning journalist after all, it’s like I need a new passion and the business is not it. Greg loves it of course, all the wheeling and dealing, networking and negotiations. But I’m not enjoying it as much, so I distract myself with other dreams. I do still write, but mostly journals and poetry, stuff for me and no one else.
Everyone starts cheering and shouting as Big Ben chimes the beginning of a new year on the television. Greg pulls me into his arms and hugs me tight before kissing me full and hard. ‘Happy new year, Mads. You and me against the world.’
‘Happy new year. I love you.’
‘And I love you.’ I smile and breathe him in.
Greg’s friend, Tim, rushes over, shouting and whooping. ‘Happy new year, lovebirds! This one’s gonna be a cracking year!’
Greg releases me and laughs at Tim. ‘I don’t doubt it, Timmy.’
I reach for my champagne, take a sip and weave through the room, wishing the friends and acquaintances around me a happy new year. Suddenly the room tilts and I feel my legs give way.
I come around to the sight of three faces peering down at me in concern. I feel myself being lifted and propped up on the couch. Someone is waving a magazine in my face like a fan.
‘Mads, you ok?’
I blink, disorientated. ‘What happened?’
‘You passed out,’ Greg says, concern paling his face.
‘But I’ve only had one glass of champagne.’
‘Have you eaten anything? I’ll get Tim to get you some of the nibbles from the table.’
The others start to move away now that the drama has passed, resuming their drinking and dancing.
I sit higher up on the couch, feeling a cold sweat on my forehead. My friend Belinda comes over with a glass of water and asks if I’m ok.
‘I think so. Probably just need to eat something,’ I say, accepting the water and drinking half the glass in one.
Tim hurries back with a plate loaded with canapés and I thank him before nibbling on a sausage roll. I feel a bit better, less lightheaded already. Greg sits on the couch next to me, still concerned.
‘What’s going on with you? You’ve been a bit off for a few days now.’
‘I know. Maybe I should go to the doctor when—’ Then it hits me. ‘Oh God, Greg.’
‘What?’
‘I haven’t had my period. I think I might be pregnant.’
His face lights up like a firework. ‘Really?’
‘Well, I don’t know. I’d have to do a test to make sure, so don’t get too excited.’
But he is. We both are. I can’t stop grinning.
‘Here’s to a new year and a decade of children – one a year for the next ten years. What do you say?’ Greg says, scooping me up in his arms and twirling me around.
I laugh. ‘Steady there, tiger! One at a time! And we’re not even married yet!’
‘Scandalous!’
I gaze up at him and can’t help but wonder how I got so lucky.
My life is perfect.
6
Returning to her flat an hour or so later, Maddie remembered she hadn’t read Greg’s text from earlier. She opened it:
Fancy joining Gemma and me for a late lunch today? She’s making a roast. Jemima would love to see you. Let me know. G x