“How was it?” she asked, seeing the faint lines of tiredness etched around his eyes. It couldn’t have been good to have been out till past two.
He grimaced. “A bit of a mess.”
“Fatalities?”
“Two.”
Ugh. Viv shuddered. How dreadful for the victims and their families. How awful for first responders. She slid her hand across the couch and touched his fingertips. “Sorry.”
He shrugged as he linked his fingers through hers. “All part of the job.”
Yeah. But still, seeing that kind of stuff couldn’t be easy. “You want me to cook you some breakfast?”
“Nah.” He smiled and shook his head. “What I want is to get dressed and go into Bozeman with you. We can have the day there and I’ve booked us into that hotel where we first met. I’ve even managed to score the same room. And I want to make you come at precisely midnight so you can hear and see metaphorical fireworks as you scream in the new year.”
He was grinning like crazy now and Viv’s heart squeezed painfully as she dropped her gaze to the laptop, her hair falling forward a little. God, that sounded so good. But…she was expected in Houston. She had a job to do, damn it, and the company relied on her.
This thing between them had always had a shelf life. It was just a little shorter than they’d both expected.
“Okay.” He turned his head to the side and peered around the curtain of her hair to her downcast face, his grin replaced with a playful smile. “That seems less than enthusiastic. We can go to any hotel. I don’t mind which one I make you scream in.”
Viv would have laughed had the lump in her throat allowed for any kind of vocalization. But then he went quiet and his hand slackened in hers and she lifted her head to find him staring at her bag near the front door. “Are you going somewhere?”
Viv swallowed hard against the lump and nodded as she turned her attention to him. Damn it, this was supposed to be easy. Not feel like the entire state of Montana was sitting on her chest. “Houston.”
He didn’t say anything, just continued to stare at the bag as his fingers slid from hers. “Right,” he said eventually and stood, walking to the fire, his hands on his hips, his back to her, flame silhouetting him in a fuzzy orange outline.
“When did you decide this?”
“I didn’t decide.” Which wasn’t exactly true but this was her job. “Delish is sending me there.”
“I see.”
Viv’s heart thudded painfully in her chest. He was obviously not happy. Hell, she wasn’t exactly thrilled about leaving Reuben either. Whether she liked it or not she hadn’t managed to keep this in the box she’d stuffed it into.
Which was why she didn’t do this kind of thing. Damn it—why hadn’t she just left their attraction well enough alone?
“Look…” She stood too and crossed to him, slipping her hands around his waist and pressing her cheek to his shoulder blade. The heat of the fire warmed her arms. “I know we were supposed to spend longer together but, it was always going to end, right? And I’ll be back in a few months, when the store is fitted out again. Maybe we could…pick up where we left off.”
Which was dumb in the extreme but she wasn’t sure she could be in any kind of easy proximity to Reuben and not want to pick up again.
He unhooked her arms and turned, setting her away from him, his face a grim mask, the angle of his jaw blanching white through the cover of his whiskers. “You want to resume fucking, Vivian?”
Viv blinked at his deliberately crude language. He was pissed, she could see that but damn it—that was what they’d been doing. “I thought you liked the fucking.”
She was pretty pissed, too.
He snorted and shook his head, muttering, “Goddamn it,” under his breath as he shoved his hand through his hair and paced to the other side of the room.
She glared at his shoulder blades as he stared into the kitchen, his back to her again. “I thought that’s what we were doing, Reuben. Fucking.”
For the longest time he didn’t say anything and then his shoulders and frame lost their painfully erect form and he turned. “It was. And I swear I wasn’t going to say anything to you, I swear I was going to let you leave but damn it…I’m in love with you.”
All the air in Vivian’s lungs evaporated and she suddenly found it hard to breathe. No. No, no, no. Reuben was in love with her? In love with her. God…that was such a big leap… Sure, they’d grown close but…love?
She remembered Gaylene saying that Reuben had fallen for her and how she’d rejected the very notion.
“You swore to me you wouldn’t do that.”
“I know, I know.” He rubbed his whiskers, looking tired and defeated. “And I’m sorry. But, it just happened.” He shrugged. “I wish I could stop it or take it back but I can’t. I—” He slapped his chest. “Love you, Vivian Catherine Dawson. And whether you love me back or not it doesn’t make a blind bit of difference.”
God…his words reached right inside her and squeezed. This couldn’t be happening. They made rules. She had to be in Houston.
“Reuben.” She took a step toward him but he held up his hand in a stopping motion and she halted. “I can’t…”
“It’s okay.” He gave a half laugh. “I know. But I hope you understand that I can’t just fall back into this—” He gestured between them. “I’ve never been in love before but I don’t think the way to get over you is to keep sleeping with you.”
“God. Reuben…I never wanted this to happen, I never asked you to fall in love with me.” In fact, quite the opposite.
“It’s fine, Vivian. You’re right. You were very clear. I’m not blaming you. I just…can’t do this when you come back in three months. I just can’t.”
She nodded. At least he’d be back in Bozeman by then which would lessen their chances of running into each other. The lump in Vivian’s throat expanded a little more and her chest ached. “Okay.”
She understood but it didn’t stop her wanting to go to him, to hug him and tell him she was sorry. It wasn’t fair to him she knew, but she yearned to feel his arms around her one more time.
“I’m sorry.” She must have looked like she was about to move toward him again and he shook his head pre-emptively, his eyes begging her to stay where she was.
“It’s okay. Just…” He tipped his chin at her bag. “You’re obviously all packed—let’s not drag it out, okay?”
Vivian bit into her bottom lip and sucked in a ragged breath. He was right, everything was ready to just walk out the door. So why didn’t she want to walk out the door?
“Sure.”
There was an awkward pause. “I’m going to take a shower,” he announced. “I guess I might see you around in a few months.”
“Yeah.” Viv nodded.
And then with one last look that gutted her to her core, Reuben strode out of the room.
*
Viv had never been so pleased to see an airport in her entire life. It had been a long day aimlessly wandering around Bozeman, all the time trying not to think about Reuben and his declaration and how her head was telling her to go to Houston but her heart wasn’t sure.