“Figured I’m not staying here much anyway. Kincaid asked me to clean out my room. I think he’s got someone new coming in,” Tug answers as he shoves a pile of jeans in a box.
Jasmine huffs and shoos him out of the way. She reaches in the box and removes the pile of clothes before refolding each pair of jeans and placing them back inside. Tug pinches her ass. Jasmine squeals, and Max smiles at their antics.
I don’t feel like joining in on their playfulness, so I walk away. I can’t go to my room. I don’t want to see it empty. I don’t want the visual reminder that she took off.
I head in the opposite direction, straight to the bar. Grinch sees me coming and pours a glass for me while he’s topping off his own.
“Thanks, man,” I mutter before bringing the heavy glass to my lips.
He nods, and I expect him to scurry away, since that’s what most of the guys have been doing since shit went down in Venezuela, but he stands there beside me drinking and taking in the crowd. It’s not too crazy. It’s not even close to some of the parties we have here, but I know it’ll only grow. If we—if they—don’t get orders to head out for another job, this place will be packed come Friday night, and things will be even crazier once the guys realize that Mia isn’t here.
What she doesn’t know is that every one of them has kept things as chill as possible since she arrived. They respect her need to heal in a calm environment, and she’s got no clue that the Cerberus clubhouse, usually is never calm and peaceful. The guys find tranquility in willing women, loud music, and enough alcohol to make them forget about the things they’ve done and seen. We live our lives to the fullest, one party, one sexed-up night at a time until the orders come down that we’re heading out. Then we’re all business.
Grinch drains his glass, and I swallow what’s left of mine so he can refill it when he pours himself another one.
“Surprised you’re out here,” Grinch says as he screws the lid back on the whiskey.
“She’s gone.” I know what he’s hinting at, so there’s no sense in beating around the bush.
“Gone?” He repositions, standing in front of me and blocking my view of the rowdy crowd.
“Back to Louisiana.” I clench my jaw.
“For good?”
I shrug my shoulders. “No clue.”
I turn the glass up and drain it for the second time in less than ten minutes. I’m not going to feel anything very soon, but I know I’m going to regret this in the morning.
Other than an occasional beer, I haven’t drank much in the last month. My tolerance has taken a nosedive in such a short time. I question my reasoning for a third as Grinch pours us both another.
“I know why I’m drinking like this,” I mutter as I look up at him. “Why are you drinking like the weight of the world is on your shoulders?”
He shrugs. “Got bad news from home.”
“Fucking sucks.” I tap my glass against his in solidarity, and we both chug.
We’re five glasses in when he spots something he says will make him feel better. That something is about five feet tall and has red hair down to her ass. I chuckle as he walks away, but the laughter falls from my lips as I watch Kirsty walk toward me with a seductive sway in her hips.
“Hey there, stranger,” she coos as she gets close enough that I can hear her over the din of the music.
I catch her wrist before she can drag her red fingernail down my chest.
“It’s not nice to touch people without permission,” I chastise.
A lazy grin tugs up the corners of her lips. “Is that how we’re playing it?”
Her eyes sparkle as she takes in my face, and I know she can tell I’m drunk. She’s seen it enough times to recognize the cues, and it’s also clear that she isn’t concerned that I haven’t called or stopped by her place in over a month. Kirsty’s a free-loving woman. She wasn’t the only chick I spent time with before, and I wasn’t the only man to warm her bed in recent months either.
“Do I need to ask permission to suck your cock, too?”
She makes like she’s going to hit her knees right here in the middle of the clubhouse living room, but I grab her hip with my free hand before she can lower herself to the floor. I wouldn’t put it past her to give me head in view of everyone. I’ve seen her do it before. Jinx is into a little public sex, but it’s never been my thing.
“You’re wasting your time, Kirsty.”
“So, you just want to jump straight to fucking me in the ass?”
In another lifetime, my cock would stiffen with her words, the suggestion of letting me in her ass, and the seductive way she licks her lips, but things have changed drastically over the last several weeks. She doesn’t appeal to me at all. Emotionless sex doesn’t carry the same thrill it once did.
“We had a good time.” She nods her head, too intoxicated to sense where this conversation is going. I stand from the stool in front of the bar and back away from her. She tries to step closer, taking it as an invitation to join me, but I hold both hands up to stop her. “It was fun, but that’s all it was, and whatever it was, it’s over now.”
Her eyes narrow, but it’s with confusion rather than animosity. “You sure?”
“One hundred percent,” I tell her with an overexaggerated nod. “Have a good night.”
She shrugs, much like I figured she would and walks back to the group of guys near the pool table.
When I turn back around, finally ready to face my empty room, I run right into Max’s chest.
“You surprised me, Scooter.”
I take a step back, only now realizing how unsteady I am on my own two feet.
“Surprised?” I slur. I felt sober as a church mouse while I was sitting, but it’s like the alcohol just hit me.
“Your turning her away isn’t exactly how I saw you reacting to that woman.”
I huff, my eyes closing on a slow blink that takes more power than it should to reopen them. “Men in love don’t go looking for cheap thrills.”
I walk past him, praying I can make it to my fucking bed before I pass out when I hear him mutter, “Indeed, they don’t.”
My sheets still smell like her pear body wash, and I don’t bother kicking my shoes off as I crash onto my mattress and bury my face into the pillows. I’m not giving up on her. I’m not giving up on us, but I will give her time to figure out that here with me is exactly where she needs to be.
Chapter 26
Mia
I’m regretting my decision as I sit in the corner booth of the diner and shred another napkin. The first three are in a neat little pile near my empty coffee cup. It’s not empty because of poor service. I turned the waitress away the last time she stopped by. I’ve had two cups already on top of what I drank at my parents’ house this morning, and I’m feeling like I should go out and run a marathon, which is alarming because I loathe running. Always have, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.
My head fills with memories as I watch Jason walk toward me. He was once the man of my dreams, the smiling handsome man who had goals and dreams that we often spoke about accomplishing together. While he was still in law school and we had our whole lives in front of us, we’d lie in bed and whisper our plans to one another. We’d spend entire weekends together, never really getting out of bed unless it was to eat or shower the sweat from our bodies after hours of lovemaking. I remember running my fingers through his hair and watching his eyes flutter closed with the contact.