At night I toss and turn, wondering if she’s back in his arms. Max feeds me morsels of information, and I eat them up like a starving child, but it doesn’t keep my mind from taking over and running wild.
He said she and Jason are over, but he didn’t give me any more information than that. I can’t help but wonder if Jason is wooing her, begging her to take him back. It’s what I would do. I don’t think I could take no from her lips as a final answer. I’d do anything in my power to win her back.
Cerberus left three days ago on a mission to South Africa, and even though I’m still under clubhouse arrest for lack of a better description, Kincaid didn’t exclude me from the meetings when they were gearing up to go.
The good news is that the CIA has no plans to bring formal charges against me for shooting Gabriella Butler. They aren’t very happy about not being able to interrogate her, but as it turns out, both Jiménez and the Cortez brothers were astute businessmen. They ran their sex trafficking organization the way most fortune five hundred companies operated, and that meant there was a ton of documentation and evidence left behind. They killed the women but didn’t burn the records and money lines. Cerberus has jobs lined up for months, not to bring a specific woman home, but missions to continue cutting the heads off snakes.
South America has been a hotbed for the illegal sex trade for decades, but South Africa is also a hub of activity, and according to the confiscated records, that’s where the Cortezs’ were shipping many of their women off to.
“She’s okay,” Jasmine whispers when Max heads to the kitchen to grab them a snack.
Her phone pings another text message, and Dominic’s daughter smiles down at her phone.
“You’re texting with her right now?” I ask, excitement filling my blood and making me feel alive for the first time in the last two weeks. “Let me see.”
She glares at me as she clutches her phone to her chest. “Not likely.”
“What time does the game start?” Max asks as he comes back carrying two different kinds of chips and a jar of baby dill pickles.
Jasmine scoffs. “Like I freaking know.”
“Kingston may be gone right now, but that doesn’t mean I won’t spank that pretty little ass of yours,” he whispers too loudly in her ear.
Jasmine’s eyes find mine, and her cheeks flush red with embarrassment when she realizes that I heard what her man just said to her. I don’t understand the dynamic between the three of them, but it works for them. Her dad seems okay with it, so I don’t have an opinion, not that I would if Dominic was opposed. I’m all for grown people doing what makes them happy so long as they don’t hurt anyone else.
“Still got fifteen minutes,” I mutter as I look down at the empty screen of my own cell phone.
I should text her, but the possibility that she may not text me back, combined with the fact that she’s clearly texting Jasmine, would kill me. Her being too busy to respond is one thing. Outright ignoring me would put me in a headspace I don’t think I’d handle very well right now.
The TV is on, but none of us are watching it. Max and I are both watching Jasmine for totally different reasons, and she’s focused on the cell phone in her hand. I wonder how fast Max’s reflexes are, and if he’s armed. I’m contemplating snatching her phone just to see what Mia has texted her over the last two weeks, but before I commit, my own cell phone chimes.
My elated heart nearly thuds to a stop when I see that Kirsty has sent a message, not Mia.
I block her number without even reading the entire message. Clearly, she didn’t get the message weeks ago at the party, and I don’t have the patience to explain to a now sober Kirsty what I said when she was drunk. She’s at the clubhouse too often for it to be the last time I’ll run into her. I just hope that she gets the hint that I’m not interested between now and the next time.
A second run-in won’t be as pleasant for her. Just a phone call between Kirsty and I sent Mia out of this clubhouse into the freezing weather. She could’ve ended up hurt or worse that night. I won’t risk hurting her, even indirectly, ever again. I don’t want passing looks or flirtations to be misconstrued by the girl I’m planning to convince to spend her life with me. If that means living like a monk and cutting all ties from every other chick who graced my bed, then so be it.
“Turn up the volume,” Max urges when Jasmine’s phone pings over and over.
“Calm down,” she tells him with a bright smile on her face. “The game hasn’t even started yet.”
He gives her a look of warning, but all it does is make her blush and squirm in her seat. I have no doubt that the headboard in Kingston’s old room will be slamming against our shared wall tonight. Just what I need is an auditory reminder of what I haven’t had since long before Christmas.
It’s not that I even miss sex. Yeah, I want to do everything under the sun with Mia when she’s ready, but I miss her body heat, her head on my chest, and the soft whisper of her breath on my skin as she sleeps. If I had that from her for the rest of my life, I could die a happy man.
“What’s got you so twisted up, man?”
I don’t even bother looking over at Max. He knows exactly what’s wrong with me, and I don’t think he’s taunting me, but until he saw me turn Kirsty down after getting the news that Mia had left, he hated my guts. His sister clung to me for comfort rather than him, and I know that ate him alive. He sees me do one decent thing, and all of a sudden, we’re best pals? Hardly.
I wouldn’t even be in the living room with these two lovebirds if my room wasn’t closing in on me. I’ve always wanted to be a part of a team. It’s why I played football in high school and why I joined the Marine Corps. It’s why Cerberus is so appealing to me.
There’s nothing worse than feeling lonely even when you’re around other people, and I’ve had more than my fair share over the last two weeks. At least Jinx was talking to me again before they left for South Africa. We haven’t really sat down and had a heart-to-heart about what happened, but at least he doesn’t walk out of the room when I speak to him now. I disappointed all the guys, but Jinx, being the one in the room with me with a bird’s-eye view of the way I treated Jiménez, was hit the hardest.
I lost a lot of their respect, and I know it’s going to be a struggle for them to trust me again if I’m ever allowed back out in the field with them. I’ll work my ass off for that to happen. I’m not ready to give up on Cerberus, and I pray they haven’t given up on me either.
The game finally starts, and even with as much enthusiasm as Max had to watch this game, he seems only to be able to concentrate on Jasmine. I understand everything about that, though. If Mia were here, I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything but her either.
The sound of a car outside draws my attention, but neither Max nor Jasmine seem concerned. The clubhouse is the only thing on this stretch of road, and it ends in a dead-end less than a mile past, with all property on either side belonging to Cerberus.
It’s not unheard of for people to get turned around or to drive by to get a look at the clubhouse, so I stand from the sofa and make my way to the front door, praying it isn’t a group of people looking for a party. We never announce when we’re gone because we know that the women are here mostly alone, and that means people will occasionally stop by to see if the lot is filled.