“You’re not his quarterback anymore,” Jennifer pointed out.
“Yeah, see, I hate that,” Blake said, and she laughed.
“Also,” she said, “I’ve got this.”
“Oh,” Blake said. “So he’s not going to the doctor’s appointment with you? Not looking at that little blob on the sonogram and holding your hand?”
“Well, yeah, he is. He’s the father, remember? We’re doing it together. And how do you know about the little blob on the sonogram? Wait. Blake …”
He grinned. “Yep. We are.”
“Wow. Congratulations.” She laughed. “That’s … that’s great. That’s amazing. How’s Dakota doing?”
He sighed. “She is not a patient woman. I can see myself already, going for fried chicken at two in the morning or some damn thing.”
“Oh, you love it,” she said.
“Well, yeah. It’s pretty awesome. But she says it’s harder than she thought. She can’t believe how tired she is. How emotional she is. Like she’s carried away. So that made me think—you sure about this? About Kristiansen? He good enough to you? You’re not getting in too deep? Because I’ve got to tell you, whatever he says now—he’s still the guy he’s always been. History matters.”
“I know what he’s been.” She wasn’t worried about being late anymore. She needed to say this. “You know how I know it? Because he told me so up front. I never expected to change him. I don’t think people can really change each other. They can bring each other out, maybe, but that’s it. But what I think is—he’s a lot more than he realizes. A lot more than he’s ever given himself credit for. Maybe he won’t stick with me. That could be. But then, he’s never promised to. He’s going to stick with our son, though. I’m sure of that. I know that, because I know him. And you don’t know the man he is. You have no idea of the … the strength of his character.”
Blake looked taken aback. Also alarmed. “Whoa. See, that’s what I was worried about. I know you like to think the best of people. But—”
“You’re wrong,” she said. “I don’t think the best of people. I know people. Plenty of them, I don’t think much of at all. But I know Harlan. And just like I’m going to forgive you for this, because I know you’re doing it out of concern, I’m going to forgive him for calling you. Because he’s doing it out of his outsized sense of responsibility. And out of love.”
“Whoa,” he said. “No. This is the padlock thing. I knew that padlock was bad news.”
Suddenly, she wasn’t feeling tolerant anymore. She was getting mad. “Blake,” she said. “I’m going to tell you something. Listen carefully. You don’t know me. I’ve got a side you’ve never seen. I’ve got a piercing you wouldn’t believe. One that I’ll bet Dakota doesn’t have. So think about this. Maybe Harlan’s in sexual … sexual thrall to me. And you know—I think both of us can separate sex from love. The person I see when I look at Harlan is pretty darn great. No, the person I see is exceptional. And maybe what he sees is a strong woman who’s sweet and sexy and helps him laugh, somebody he can baby a little, too, because he needs to do that. Somebody who makes him feel like a man, and like a better man.”
For once, the quarterback had nothing to say. She said, “Yeah. That’s right. And I’ve got a baby to look at. And a hand to hold. I’m out of here.”
.
55
A Person
Harlan was getting antsy. Jennifer was five minutes late already. She was never late. His mind went to those possibilities again. A car wreck, for some reason, featured heavily. He shifted on the upscale waiting-room chair in the quiet, luxuriously understated surroundings of the highest-rated obstetrical practice in Portland, noticed the looks he was getting from two expectant dads, and groaned inwardly.
If she didn’t show up within about sixty seconds, he was going to have to talk football. Yeah, he knew the Devils needed help on their pass rush and a more reliable kicker. He didn’t want to talk about it while he waited to see his kid.
A flip of his stomach at that. And where was she?
She came in breathless. A little flustered. Her hair slightly messy, her color high, her forehead sweaty, lugging her laptop case. He stood up, took it from her, bent down to kiss her, and said, “Hi. Everything OK?”
“Yeah. I just … I’ll tell you later.” She went up to the counter to check in, then came back to sit beside him. “First …” she said, took his face in her hands, and kissed him. Thanks for being here. Thanks for being on time, even when I wasn’t.” She smiled at him, a little misty-eyed, and finally took her hands away.
He wanted her hands back. Also, there was a lump in his throat. “Of course I’m here,” he said. “Of course I am. I said I would be. I want to be.”
She picked up his hand and threaded her fingers through his. “I know. Also, a little bad news.”
He thought, Oh, no. Here it comes.
“I may have …” She lowered her voice. “Told Blake about my piercing.”
Whatever he’d expected, it hadn’t been that. “What?”
“I lost my temper a little,” she said. “Partly at you, but mostly at him. I know that you want to protect me. I love that you want to protect me. But I can set Blake straight by myself. I’m pretty sure I just did.”
“By telling him about your piercing.” He started to smile. “Bet that surprised him.”
“I didn’t tell him exactly where it was,” she assured him. “But he was, you know …” She glanced around and lowered her voice some more. “Talking about the padlock again. I lost my temper. Like I said. I discussed the, uh, different sides to my personality. My stronger side. I may have given him a … false impression.”
Of what? That she was a dominatrix? He tried to picture her like that and couldn’t do it. She’d be the most apologetic dominatrix ever. Orbison’s head must have just about exploded.
He was still grinning when the nurse called her name. And then he went into the room with her, and he wasn’t.
The doctor had straight, shiny, swingy black hair and perfect makeup. She was as tall and slim as a fashion model. And she was wearing black leather pants and stilettos under her white coat.
Jennifer thought, You’re kidding, and wanted to laugh. Harlan had picked this practice, not her. He’d done it before she’d even got here, researching exhaustively and talking to his teammates who had kids. It was sweet, was why she’d let him do it. But he’d picked an OB with leather pants? Also, this exam room was nicer than her old apartment. The furniture was definitely nicer.
The scratchy paper on the table was the same, though, and so was the exam gown. She guessed they didn’t make fancy exam gowns. What would they even look like? Presumably they wouldn’t have that exam-gown pattern. They’d be paisley, or something.
She should go into the high-end gown business. Talk about an untapped market.