I feel a lump in my throat, and I clear it before I keep talking. “Harrison, I don't know how to thank you for everything you've been for me—a big brother, my best friend, and my dad, all rolled into one, which kind of sounds like some sort of weird incest thing because I'm calling you my dad and my brother but, for anyone who doesn’t know us and watches this, I’m saying it because our parents died when we were kids. Anyway, Harrison, you’ve been this family’s rock. You’ve been my rock.” My voice cracks and I pause and take a quick breath. “When I think of everything you've given to us and sacrificed, it kills me that I won’t have a chance to repay you, which is sort of ironic because I’m about to die.
“If by some miracle, the network decides to pay out my bonuses even though I'm failing to meet the terms of our agreement, I have already arranged with Stogie Stew to buy back Matilda for you. I was just waiting for the rest of the money from this season. Take the cash and get her back. Then spend some more and get her detailed because she probably reeks of cigars and Stew.
“Emma, you’re such a pain in the arse,” I say, managing a half grin. “Thank you for giving me such a hard time my whole life and teaching me a little about women and a lot about courage. You truly are an incredible person, and Pierce is lucky to have you. Take care of each other,” I say, unable to stop my voice from breaking. “Rosy, I’ll always be your cuddle bear, no matter where I am. I’m going to miss dinners at your house with you and Darnell, and Starsky and Hutch. Having you in my life has made all the difference. Little Clara, I know you won’t remember me, but I’m your uncle who taught you to blow raspberries. You’ll probably forget that too, but I want you to know how special you are to me. Grow up to be strong and loving, like your mom and dad. Get your dad to teach you how to surf, because as good as he is at it, I’m pretty sure you’ll be a lot better. You already have an incredible sense of balance for a toddler. Oh, and if you’re looking for your sippy cup with the kittens on it, it’s under my coffee table.”
I shut off the camera and try to regain my composure, only to find myself overcome with emotion as I think about what Arabella and I had, and what it might have been if I hadn’t been a total arsehole to her. I rest my head against the rock and close my eyes for a moment, trying to gather my strength. Finally, when I'm ready, I turn the camera back on. “Arabella, if you see this, I didn't mean all those shitty things that I said. I lied to you when we were playing truth or dare. I do have a fear and you already know what it is. I’m afraid of letting anyone get close to me. I am a complete coward and I've done exactly what you said I did, which is to set my life up so I could sidestep love completely. When you were sick, I thought for sure I was going to lose you and the pain of it made me even more certain that I don't have what it takes to go the distance with anyone. I can’t do it because you never know how long you’ve got with someone, and I can’t be the one left behind. You were right. I’m too weak for that.
“But I want you to know these past days out here with you have been the greatest of my entire life. I have never felt anything close to what I feel for you, and if I had made it out of this alive, I would sweep you up into my arms and never let you go. For what it's worth, I love you, and I want you to go on and be the totally kickass version of yourself I watched come to life out here. Don't let anyone underestimate you. But if they do, you show them who you really are. You’re fierce. You’re brave. You are a warrior. Thank you for trying to save me. Please don't spend a moment feeling guilty for how things ended up, because there is nothing you could've done.”
“Well, that's a little insulting,” Arabella says.
I look up, my heart surging as I see her beautiful face smiling down at me. “You assumed I’d fail.”
29
Show Him You Love Him with a DIY Stretcher…
Arabella - One Hour Earlier
“Okay, Arabella.” Pant. Pant. “You can do this,” I say, swiping at the brush in front of me with the machete. Oh, that’s hard. So much harder than Will makes it look. Can’t they make machetes out of a lighter material? Seriously. Pant. Pant. Pant. “Just keep your eye on that big tree right there with the split trunk and keep going.”
But my arms hurt already, and I’ve only been at this for a few minutes. How can I possibly do this for another five hours? And how the hell can I lead anyone back here to find Will before he bleeds to death, or gets bit by a spider, or a snake slithers down to him and squeezes the life out of him? Oh, Xena, Warrior Princess, please come to me now and give me the strength to go on.
Almost at the tree. Just get there. Just to that tree. Then you can walk on that road on the other side of it. “Wait. A road?!” I sprint ahead with renewed energy and hop over a small bush, landing on a dirt road that disappears into the trees in the distance. It’s got old tire tracks with grasses growing down the center of it, but still, it’s a real road. Which means people! Which means we could be saved. “Yes!”
I stop and bend at the waist, resting my hands on my knees while I catch my breath. I listen for the sounds of human beings or vehicles, but there’s nothing but the buzzing of insects and the call of the birds. I look up. “Okay, if it’s early morning and the sun is there, this road must be going east, which is exactly where we need to go.”
“I can go back and get Will,” I tell myself, because somehow saying it out loud helps me check to see if my logic is sound. “I know how to build a raft. I can make a stretcher. Then, because I already have a path, I can drag him without having to pull him and slice a trail at the same time. Right?”
I stand, chewing my lip for a second, then decide to go for it. Racing back into the woods, I find two bamboo poles and set them down on the ground. Then I glance around until I spot a long, thick vine hanging from a tree. Giving it a tug, I say, “Yup. You’re my vine.”
“Now, just climb the tree, cut the vine, and make a stretcher.” No problem.
I stand at the base of the tree and look for footholds. There’s one I can reach, but it’ll take all my bendy ballet moves to do it. Urgh. This feels disgusting. My hands are going to be filthy.
I’m now about two feet off the ground, my heart is pounding, my stomach flipping. “Keep going. You are a warrior.”
I continue on, only to get a face full of spider web. “Eeewwww. So gross.” I can’t even brush it off because if I do, I’ll fall. Ignore the disgusting webs and get that vine. Oh, and open your eyes.
Gripping the trunk with both hands, I force myself to go a little higher. Just until I can cut a long enough strip of the vine for what I need. I wedge my foot in between a branch and the trunk, then, pressing my body against the tree, I hold on with my left arm, and use my right to give the vine one quick slice.
“Shit!” I almost lose my balance. Dropping the machete, I hug the tree. “No fire ants. No fire ants. Please don’t attack me.”
I fumble my way down, and when I finally find the ground with my feet, I wipe at my face, trying to remove the webs. When I finish, I look at my palms, which are totally black with dirt. “Oh great. Now I’m all dirty.”