As soon as my feet hit the bottom of the stairs, I realized I still had my AirPods in and my eye mask pushed up into my hairline, still semi asleep, when I walked into the kitchen… to Hunter. He was sitting at the island with Liz. His messy blonde locks were pulled into a don’t care bun, and his jean jacket showed off a slender build with muscles you wanted to lick underneath. Spreading across his face was that stupid smirk I wanted to hate, but who was I kidding? That was the smirk he wore when he won, and right now I was losing. The only graceful loss I would take would be at the hands of that smirk.
I moved past him, like I simply didn’t see him, grabbing coffee and leaving the room again, only to hear him speak above a normal tone: “Addileigh.”
I paused, rolling my eyes and trying my hardest to act tough, like he didn’t break me and my heart. “What, Hunter?”
I heard the bar stool’s feet skim across the hardwood floor, and I knew he was moving towards me. I stood as still as I could, swallowing the nervous energy creeping up my throat, like acid reflux. I felt his body heat surging off of him, he was so close. “You ran off pretty quickly.”
I turned around, still hardening every part of me. “You didn’t really give me a choice, Hunter.”
He seemed confused when his eyebrows dropped, and his mouth pursed in confusion. “I’m here, aren’t I? Family dinner at 6. I’m trying, Addi.”
“I don’t know why. I’m not Layla, and you’re never gonna be over her, right?” My shoulders shrugged, while I talked, even though I wasn’t ever at a loss for words.
“What does Layla have to do with anything between us?” His question seemed sincere, but he knew exactly how much she had to do with us. He was having nightmares about her and waking up in the middle of the night; he was comparing us in his head; and when I said I loved him, he didn’t say anything at all.
He fucked me instead, hoping that spoke loud enough to keep me quiet. Love and sex aren’t synonymous. I could be fucked by anyone; Hunter was the one person I wanted more from.
I rolled my eyes, backing up, not letting him invade my space. “Call me when you’re over her. I have to get ready.”
He let me walk away again, making it halfway up the stairs when he shouted in my direction, “Addileigh, stop fucking walking away from me!” The anger in his voice was evident, causing me to stop altogether, not even fighting back the tears anymore. The hot moisture was staining my fake glow, and I felt my shoulders starting to tremble. Hunters unlaced combat boots stomped each step in anger, and I felt his chest against my shoulder blades.
“I wasn’t done talking to you…”
I swallowed again. Nervousness washed over me, when his lips hit my neck and his fingers pushed my hair to one side. I felt vulnerable in a way I hadn’t since before my transformation. “I’m not in love with Layla.”
More hot tears burned my cheeks, while I listened to his words, not sure if I would be able to muster any to say back without becoming even more of a mess. His hand snaked around my stomach holding me to him, and I froze, becoming rigid. I felt his warm breath against me again: “I didn’t wanna say it and make it real. I’m not ready to survive you.”
I spoke through a shaky breath and trembling through stringing my words together: “Survive me?”
His other hand snaked around me, with both arms holding me against his chest and letting his lips brush against my neck this time. “I won’t survive you, Addi. If we don’t work, I won’t survive it like I did Layla. You’ll be the death of me.”
A small smile tugged at my lips, even though the tears didn’t stop. Hunter just made a confession that would grant him a pardon.
I heard Liz’s voice from behind us both: “You better not hurt my baby sister, Hunter. I know where you live.”
We both laughed at her empty threat—not that my sister wouldn’t hit someone if you made her angry enough, but she loved us both too much to ever follow through. I tugged Hunters hand behind me, leading him to the guest room I took over and locking the door behind us. Privacy wasn’t a policy in my family.
“Pinky promise?”
Hunter sat down on the bed, pulling my legs between his wide legs. “Seriously?”
“Stop fighting me…” As soon as the words slipped out, he stared at me in a transparent way—one he never allowed before. I could see something setting in. What it was, I had no idea. “What? You always fight me… this… us.”
He pulled me down on his lap so that my ass fell right onto his thigh, and his hand found my cheek before pushing his lips into mine. There was nothing dangerous about this kiss; it was perfect. I still didn’t know what changed in that moment.
When he pulled away, only centimeters, he whispered, “I love you, Addi. Pinky promise.” He held up his pinky, waiting for mine, knowing just how serious I was when it came to promises and pinkies.
Everything about his voice was genuine and soft; it suited him. He had the voice of an angel, but the rap sheet of a villain.
“I love you, Hunter.” I held up my pinky between us, waiting for him to make the moves of twisting them together.
Still holding my pinky in his, he added to our promise: “While we’re at it, no more Mister. You've traded up.”
“About that...” I let my voice fade out, trying to find the words to explain how uncomfortable he was making me and how scared I actually was of his blackmail. “I think that's gonna be messy...”
His hand landed on my thigh and looked at me like I just spat in his face. “Addi.”
“He threatened to get me kicked out of school, and after the Ollie shit, the dean isn't going to take my side again. He knew I was wasn’t in Massachusetts, and he knew when I changed my flight... I never told him I even left.”
Hunter slid my legs off his lap, and I landed on the bed when he stood up. With his hands on his hips, his head hung between his shoulders. “So he’s blackmailing you… and stalking you? Where's your phone?”
“Hunter, what does that have to do with my phone?”
He snatched it from my hands, dropping it to the floor and smashing it under the heel of his boot, until it was shattered beyond repair. My jaw was slack in pure shock, waiting for him to explain. “He's gotta be tracking your location. Goddamnit, Addi. You should have never got involved with him.”
His disappointment choked up my vocal cords as I watched him resume his stance.
“I know you're young and reckless, but you have to be more careful. Why didn't you tell me this shit?”
He finally sat down, but not comfortably. He looked more tense than when he was standing. His elbows were digging into his thighs, and his head still hung low. Everything about disappointing the man I loved couldn't compare to my parents’ disappointment. No, this was so much worse, because I knew I was wrong and I could have prevented this.
I should have cut off Mister the minute I knew I was no longer just fucking Hunter.
I should have cut off Mister when he didn't take a hint at the silent treatments I had been handing out.
I shouldn't have used Mister to punish myself and accept some kind of deranged love I thought I deserved.