In all her imaginings, meeting a man like Cathal had never popped into her mind. Mainly because she’d never factored the Fae into anything. It was still difficult for her to accept that she was part Fae. She couldn’t understand why her mother hadn’t told her. Why was it such a secret?
Cathal’s slowly wound one of her curls around his finger. She smiled because no one had ever played with her hair. And it felt so good.
“You can do that forever,” she told him.
He chuckled. “I gather you like it.”
“I can’t begin to tell you how wonderful it feels.”
“Better than sex?”
She thought about that a moment. “Not better, different.”
“I was beginning to wonder if you’d answer.”
They shared a laugh. Then, she shifted her head to look at him. “The sex was incredible.”
“Yes, it was,” he said as his red eyes met hers.
She bit her lip. “Although, it’s probably because I’ve not had sex with anyone for ten years.” Sorcha cut her eyes to him, barely able to hold back her smile.
Cathal flipped her onto her back and held himself over her with his arms all the while smiling. “Tease.”
“Sorry. I couldn’t help it.” She wiped the smile away and touched his face reverently. “I wasn’t lying. What you did to me was marvelous, wonderful, astounding—”
“Thank you,” he said, cutting her off. He lowered his head to place a soft kiss to her lips. “I can honestly say that I’ve never felt anything like what we shared tonight.”
Before she could think of something to say, he returned to lying on his back. She rolled with him, resuming her spot. “Are you all right? You don’t regret it, do you?”
“No,” he answered quickly. His arms came around her, holding her tightly. “Never.”
“What happens now?”
“I have no idea. You?”
She shook her head. “Not a clue. I guess we’ll play it by ear.”
“Sure.”
But that didn’t sound like something he wanted to do. The problem was that she didn’t know what to do. She hadn’t dated in ages, and she wasn’t even sure if what they were doing was dating or just having sex. The adult thing to do would be to discuss it. That was if he wanted to have that conversation. For all she knew, this was his way of stopping any kind of talk before it got started.
The heady feeling from before began to fade. Sorcha tried to hold onto it. This had the best thing to happen to her in years. A wee bit of guilt tried to worm its way in, but she stopped it before it could. She didn’t think about why she did it either.
“This may not be the proper time to talk, but if you want to find out why the Fae are suddenly here for you, then we’ll come up with a plan.”
She was so shocked by his words that, for a moment, she didn’t move. “I would like that. I’m not sure how to do it, or even if it would work, but it’s just all so strange.”
“The more I think about it, the more I agree with you. Why now? And you’re sure you’ve never seen any Fae before near your property?”
“Never. I do walk outside and tend to the gardens. I interact with the horses from the neighbor to my right and sometimes feed the baby cows. I leave the house. I just don’t normally leave the property,” she explained.
He drew in a breath. “What about at night?”
“I often sit outside by the firepit and look at the stars. Trust me, I would’ve noticed if someone was watching me.”
“That’s what I thought.” Cathal rubbed his hand up and down her back. “What you want to do will be dangerous.”
She lifted her head and rose up on her elbow to look at him. “I’m prepared for that. I did scale the side of a cliff in a storm not too long ago.”
His red eyes held hers. “This will be different. The Fae will say and do anything to get you to go with them. You won’t be able to believe anything they say. I don’t care what coloring they show you. You can’t trust any of it or them.”
“I trust you.”
“You’ve no idea how much that means to me.” He reached up and touched her face before tucking her hair behind her ear.
Sorcha licked her lips and studied Cathal. “You mentioned that you were once Dark, as if you aren’t now. Both you and Aisling kept saying the ward on my property would keep Fae out, but it didn’t stop either of you. Even if I ask, you won’t tell me what you are, will you?”
He slowly shook his head, regret filling his face.
“It’s all right,” she told him and kissed him. Then she lay back on his chest. “You once told me that everyone has secrets. You’re right. Everyone does. And no one has a right to ask what they are.”
“But you told me yours.”
She released a breath. “That was my decision. I won’t be angry at you if you never tell me yours. Sometimes, it’s better if secrets are never shared. There is a reason they’re called secrets.” Then, before he could reply, she said, “If we confront any of the Fae to find out what they really want, is there any way you can hide nearby?”
“Of course.”
She lay back on his chest. “That makes me feel better. I don’t want to put you and Aisling in any kind of danger.”
“You don’t need to worry about us. Ever. We’ll be fine.”
“I saw the two of you earlier after your fights with the Fae outside.”
He made a sound in the back of his throat. “That was nothing.”
The more he talked, the more she began to realize there was a lot about Cathal she didn’t know. And maybe it was better that way. When everything was said and done, he’d be gone and out of her life. Just thinking about everything that had to line up for them to meet boggled her mind. Then there was the fact that she didn’t deserve to find any kind of happiness.
She had accepted her life and her Fate long ago. Just because Cathal was here now, and she was enjoying herself, didn’t mean that it was forever. That thought sobered her, wiping away any vestiges of bliss that still lingered. This time when she looked to the future, it was bleak and miserable. There was no way she could get through the days as she had been for the last decade. Not when everywhere she looked, she saw Cathal.
Was that what had happened to her mum? Had she seen her husband everywhere after he died? And what of her Fae lover? If her mother had suffered, she’d never let it show. Not once. Even when Sorcha and Molly prodded her to date. Her mum continued saying that she didn’t need anyone in her life.
Sorcha had believed it was because there was no one out there who matched her mother. After all, it had been years and years since her husband had died. Surely, her mum would’ve gotten over him by then. Now, Sorcha had begun to think it was because her mother’s heart had been taken. She had fallen in love, the kind that lasts lifetimes. When her mother couldn’t have her lover, she had given up any thoughts and hopes of finding happiness with someone else. She’d been content to spend her days with her daughters.
The awareness of that hit Sorcha like a freight train. She struggled for breath, trying to get enough oxygen into her lungs, even as her mind bellowed at the truth. She closed her eyes, refusing to cry any more tears.