Cathal’s arms tightened around her. He didn’t ask what was wrong, didn’t prod into her thoughts. He simply held her, which was precisely what she needed. Sorcha didn’t know how many minutes passed before she could breathe normally again. All she knew was that if she hadn’t met Cathal, if she hadn’t shared her body with him, she wouldn’t have any idea what her mum had gone through. She wouldn’t have any inkling about the silent pain her mother had hidden from everyone.
All these years after her mother’s and sister’s deaths, Sorcha still carried her grief around for everyone to see. Her mother had been the strong one. It took courage and resilience and determination to know that the man she’d given her heart to would never return. And that their love would have to remain a secret.
Cathal’s hand smoothed her hair back from her face as he kissed her brow. She sniffed, overcome with emotions. The day had been draining. First, she had gone to the cove, then the Fairy Pools. She’d discovered that she was a Halfling, read her mother’s journals, and uncovered many secrets. She’d learned that the Fae were after her to plant their seed within her, and then she had slept with Cathal.
“Have you ever looked back at the past and realized that you were wrong—about so very much?” she asked him.
He released a breath. “I have. It’s not an easy thing to accept.”
“I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you.”
He stilled for an instant. “I don’t understand.”
“I thought my mum wanted to be on her own without a man. I thought she had gotten over the death of her husband and just couldn’t find a man who could match her.” Sorcha looked at Cathal. “All those years, she hid her grief, despair, and loneliness. I never had any sort of hint to any of it. She did it for me and for Molly.”
“Because she loved you both.”
Sorcha glanced away. “I’ve let everyone know I’m suffering for what happened. Mum didn’t. She put a smile on her face and waited until she was alone before she let her true emotions show. She was so strong.”
Cathal turned onto his side to face her. “So are you.”
“Thank you for saying that, but I’m not even close.”
“You climbed a cliff face in a storm to spy on Druids. You want to face the Fae after you. You’re no slouch in the courage department.”
His words made her smile. “I’m glad you found me. I’m glad you told me about my heritage. It’s opened my eyes to so many things. Thank you.”
“I should be the one thanking you. No one has put their lives in my hands before.”
“I find that hard to believe. Look at everything you’ve done for me.”
He lifted one shoulder as his gaze darted away briefly. “My interactions aren’t usually with Halflings or mortals. Only Fae.”
“And yet, you spoke with me.”
“I couldn’t help myself.”
Her grin widened. “You’ve changed my life.”
“You’ve changed mine, as well.”
“You’re a Fae. How in the world could I do that? I’m only a Halfling, who didn’t even realize that until today.”
His gaze was intense, solemn. “You discount yourself. I’ve come across a great many people in my life, and you surpass all of them. You have no idea how special you are.”
His words touched her. If only she could tell him that she wanted to be special to him. But she couldn’t get the sentiment past her lips. It was partly because she still believed she should be punished for the deaths of her mother and sister, but another part knew that she didn’t belong in Cathal’s world.
And he didn’t belong in hers.
Why then did she wish so much that they could be together?
She reached for his hand, and their fingers twined together. They said nothing, just stared into each other’s eyes, both lost in thought. She didn’t think of the past or the future. Instead, she put every second they had together to memory so she could look back on it later, all the while, opening herself to him completely.
Then, Cathal swallowed and wound one of her curls around his finger again. “I didn’t lie to you before. I was Dark, but my family raised me as a Light.”
Now that surprised her. “How did they take you becoming Dark?”
“My mother died when I was very young. For a while, it was just my dad and me. Then he met someone and remarried. She had a daughter from a previous marriage, and then they had two children together. Two more girls.”
Sorcha watched him carefully. She didn’t know why he was telling her this, but she was glad that he was. “Sounds like a houseful.”
“It was all right for a little while. My stepmother liked the fact my father had some pull in our community. She thought he could achieve more, though, so she pushed him to go after things he wouldn’t have before. Soon, he was spending a lot of time at the Light Castle and interacting with a ton of influential people. My stepmother saw that as a way to get her daughters married to some rich Fae. And it worked.”
While the story sounded fine, Sorcha had a feeling it would not end well. She didn’t say anything, simply laid her hand against his chest, and waited for him to continue.
“Things were going along great. Until they weren’t. My father got himself into a scheme that backfired on him, and it sent our family into ruin. My father was out of his league. He had no idea what to do. But my stepmother did.”
A shiver of apprehension ran through Sorcha. She’d never met the woman, but she didn’t like Cathal’s stepmother at all.
He paused for a moment, then said, “She came to me and told me it was my responsibility to see that the wrong done to our family was put to rights since my father couldn’t. I had left the house many years before since she and I were clashing already then. She wanted me to become like my father, and I had no interest in politics. I knew the only way I’d find happiness was to leave. So, I did, and I joined the Queen’s Guard. However, when I left, there was no one to tell my father that my stepmother’s ideas weren’t always good. So, when she told me what had happened to him, I was outraged. The biggest mistake I made was believing everything she told me.”
Chapter Fifteen
Cathal felt the same rage that used to control him begin to return. Then, Sorcha’s hand began to rub softly across his chest. It helped him combat the storm of anger and return to the story.
“She told me my father had been tricked by two of his friends into investing their entire fortune into some business. The friends had known it was doomed to fail, and they laughed as he not only lost his money but also became a laughingstock amid those at court. I’ve always hated court because it’s just a cruel place.”
Sorcha smiled softly, nodding.
“I got the names of the men and immediately went after them. I spent hours torturing the first one, trying to get the truth out of him. He kept telling me that he had no idea what I was talking about, that he was the one who had lost his investment. But I didn’t believe him. I kept thinking about how I’d let my father down by leaving. Guilt rode me hard, and I lost myself to the anger. I killed the Light. But I didn’t stop there. I went to the second so-called friend of my father’s and began the torture anew with him. He said the same as the first. That he was the one who had lost his fortune. I didn’t mean to kill him, but I did. And as I stood staring down at his body, it occurred to me that I hadn’t thought to see my father first and get details from him.”