“We were good at compartmentalizing grief before we were even adults,” she thought, “and the SEALs taught you how to become a master at it, didn’t they? But all of a sudden those boxes won’t stay closed.”
Sensing he was once again on the verge of bolting, Lani picked up a dish towel and started to dry, feverishly racking her brain for something to say that’d lighten the mood. A dollop of suds landed on the back of her hand, and without thinking, she flicked them at him. “Take that.”
He huffed. “Oh, yeah?” Scooping up a handful of bubbles, he plopped them on her head, where they immediately slid down her cheek, onto her chest and right into her cleavage.
His eyes widened in consternation, but before he could say anything, she patted herself dry with the neckline of her tank top. “I didn’t know this was a wet T-shirt contest.” With that, she dunked her hand in the sink full of water and plastered her open palm right in the middle of Geo’s chest. “Now we’re even.”
He looked down at the soggy palm print, then back up at her. Laughing, she danced backward as he stalked toward her, until her butt was up against the counter. Geo caged her in with his arms, his body close but not quite touching hers. She gazed up at him with a smirk, a lock of wet hair annoyingly stuck to her cheek. Before she could brush it away, he reached up with gentle fingertips and did it for her.
“Beautiful girl,” he murmured, his thumb lingering on her cheekbone. “I love your laugh.”
“I love how you make me laugh.” Biting her lip, Lani toyed with the hem of his T-shirt. “Are you going to stay with me?”
After a brief hesitation, he nodded, and she let out a long, slow breath. “Good. And just so you know, forcing you to talk isn’t part of the deal. If you want to, though, I’m here.”
“I want to.” He tucked the hair behind her ear, his mouth looking a bit less pinched. “I know I need to. It’s just—I have no idea where to start.”
The memory of that first time walking into Maura’s office washed over her, along with all of its accompanying anxiety. She forced it back, hoping it didn’t show on her face. He needed her to be empathetic, cool and capable right now, not an emotional basket case.
“I know it’s not easy,” she said again, proud of how calm she sounded. “In fact, it’ll be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done, not gonna lie.”
He studied her for a moment, his expression smoothing out, that hint of vulnerability still in his eyes. “I appreciate your honesty. It, uh—” He swallowed. “It does help to know I’m not alone.”
“You’re not alone,” she said fervently. “And we’ll get through this together, okay?”
“Okay.” Pulling her to him, Geo hugged her tight. “The sooner I can stop disrupting your life and get back to my platoon, the better, right?”
Her heart gave a painful throb. “Right.”
“I think I’m gonna go pack some stuff, check on Bosch. You need me to pick anything up while I’m out?”
With sheer force of will, she managed to sound breezy. “Nah, I’m good.” Pulling away from him, she rummaged in her junk drawer and extracted her spare key, which she pressed into his hand. “Make yourself at home. I’ll be around most of the day.” She paused. “I do have my support group tomorrow...”
“Okay.” With a noncommittal sound, he stuck the key in his pocket. “See you later.”
After he’d gone, Lani ran for the bathroom and her shower, where she stood under the spray and let the hot tears flow unchecked. “Fuck, what am I doing?”
Despite her best efforts, all of her old insecurities reared their ugly heads. They started hissing that she wasn’t strong enough, or smart enough—that not only had she failed Tyler, she’d failed Rhys, and soon it would be Geo...
“I think you’re doing a beautiful job.” The memory of Maura’s words echoed in her ears, drowning out the strident voices. “What he needs right now is an empathetic friend.”
Lani leaned back against the wet tile and scrubbed her hands over her face.
“Remember, he doesn’t need you to fix him,” she reminded herself. “What he needs is someone to listen, and to understand. You can do that.”
Feeling a bit more calm, and proud of how quickly she’d turned it around this time, she got out of the shower and dried herself off with brisk motions. She would do it. She’d use her pain to help Geo navigate his, and hopefully in the process find a way to give meaning to her own journey.
Wiping off the mirror, she stared at her foggy reflection.
“You’ll also protect your heart at all costs, you hear me?” she said fiercely. “You know damn good and well that the minute he can, Geo’s gonna walk out that door for good.”
He would leave. And he wouldn’t look back.
Because that’s what SEALs do. Don’t you ever forget it.
Chapter Fifteen
“Geo! Hey!”
Geo spun around, a jolt of surprise and pleasure going through him at the sight of Matt’s welcoming smile. “What? You’re here, too? Why aren’t you at Langley?”
They bumped knuckles as Matt said, grinning, “Some of the CIA instructors got re-tasked at the last minute, so Master Chief gave us the option of coming home for a few days if we wanted.” He turned to the blond man at his side. “This is the K9 guy I was telling you about, babe, the one whose dog almost took a chunk out of my ass?”
“Oh, yeah. That was funny.” The man shot Geo a devastating grin. “I’m Shane, by the way. Matt’s fiancé.”
Dazzled almost speechless by Shane’s movie-star good looks, Geo mumbled a greeting as they gripped hands in a tight shake.
Holy. Shit. No wonder Matt wanted to come home. Geo’d be on the first plane, too. Damn.
“Trust me, this dog is so badass,” Matt was saying enthusiastically. “Are you busy right now, Geo? Can we take Shane to meet him?”
“He might not be busy, but I have that brief in ten minutes,” Shane reminded him. “Some other time.”
They started walking again as Geo fell into step beside them.
“Shane’s been offered a billet as a BUD/S instructor until his medical board meets,” Matt said. “Second Phase.” He grunted. “Talk about a destroyer of dreams.”
Geo shuddered. It was true. So many guys survived Hell Week only to fall victim to Second Phase’s pool competency, arguably the most challenging training evolution in all of BUD/S. He’d squeaked through it himself by the skin of his teeth, the specter of Cade losing that bet hanging over his head like a sword waiting to fall...