“Just so you know, asking about him, about the person he was, is always the right thing to say.”
He quirked his lips. “Well, before I knocked, I was standing out on the porch remembering all the times I invaded your home, drank your beer.”
With a chuckle, she let go of him and picked up her coffee. “God, he loved you, George. He used to say you were the little brother he never had.”
“Really?” Warmth flooded him, banishing the discomfort, and suddenly Geo was glad he’d come. “Then no wonder he busted my balls so much, Jesus.”
“He was beyond proud of you. I mean that.”
“Well, it’s because of him that I’m even here.” Ignoring the tears pricking at the backs of his eyes, he wrinkled his nose at her. “Did he ever tell you about the time he accidentally drank some other dude’s dip spit?”
She gasped. “No! He didn’t!”
Before long they were laughing, trading stories about a man they’d both loved. Renae raked her hair back with one hand and grinned. “This is great. You’re telling me stuff about the side of him I never got to see. You seriously pulled a knife on that bouncer?”
Geo groaned. “I did, convinced I was a badass impressing my teammates. Afterward, when Cade made me cut my brand-new Trident patch off my uniform...”
“Yikes.” She winced. “It was a lesson you never forgot, huh?”
“Never. He said, ‘This symbol doesn’t make you a hero, your actions do. There are plenty of heroic guys who don’t wear Tridents and plenty of pieces of shit who do. Which one do you want to be?’”
She picked at the donut she’d dug out from a box of them on the counter. “He loved mentoring new SEALs. Whenever he had those bouts of depression, I’d remind him of that. ‘Those kids are counting on you.’”
Geo froze with his own bite halfway to his mouth. “Depression?”
Renae’s gaze met his. “He’d suffered from anxiety and depression since he was in high school.”
In growing shock, Geo listened to her tell him about Cade surviving a car crash in which his two best friends died.
“He was sixteen, and he never got professional help,” she said. “Instead, his parents told him to pray about it.” Her jaw clenched. “Then when he was twenty-two, his BUD/S swim buddy was killed in a training accident right before their first deployment. No time to grieve, just suck it up and go to war. Then...”
“Then Cobra Three-Five,” Geo whispered.
“Yes.” She nodded. “The husband I knew died on that helicopter with his friends. After he came home, his depression got worse—longer, more pervasive. I begged him to get help, but...”
“He wouldn’t?”
“He was a SEAL,” she said quietly. “To him, it wasn’t a legitimate mental illness, it was a character flaw. A weakness. He was always apologizing to me for not being stronger and ‘more of a man.’”
The horror washed through Geo in wave after wave. “I wish I’d known,” he said shakily.
“The night he died,” Renae went on, “he called me on the sat phone. I asked him again about getting help. He said he would, that he needed to, that things were going to be different from now on.”
She shook her head. “He sounded good when he said that, more like himself. I—I believed him. Never dreamed that as soon as he hung up the phone, he would—” Her voice broke.
In an instant, Geo flashed back to what Lani had said about the suicide-attempt survivor who’d visited their group. Turning his palm up and entwining Renae’s fingers with his, he told her about it, about Cade’s possible relief at having made his plan, his pain eased for maybe the first time in years.
A single tear streaked down her cheek. “How I hope and pray that’s the case.” She squeezed his hand. “When did you get so wise?”
He squeezed back. “Well, I have this friend...”
After he’d told her about Lani, she smiled. “Bring her over for dinner sometime. I’d love to get to know her better.”
He said he would, then got up to rinse his coffee mug out. As he did, he gazed out into the backyard, at the seed pods, brown leaves and other debris that covered the ground. Renae snorted when she saw what he was looking at. “That stupid-ass tree.”
“Cade hated it,” they said in unison, then laughed. Geo slid his arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head.
“I’ll come take care of it,” he promised. “Soon.”
She leaned against him. “I’d appreciate that more than you know.”
They held on to each other for several long minutes, and then she determinedly pulled away. “Now shoo. I have hair and nail appointments this afternoon.” Putting her hand on his back, she began walking him to the door. “I’m going out with some girlfriends tonight for a bachelorette party. Hers is the third wedding this year and they refuse to let me back out this time.”
“Good.”
“Yep. I’m going to go, and I’m gonna take joy in my friend. If I need to cry, I’ll cry, and then I’ll get right back to dancing.” She stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. “I’m so glad you stopped by.”
After she’d closed the door behind him, Geo sat on his bike at the curb for a while, staring at the house, not quite willing to leave her yet.
“You were right, Lani,” he whispered.
Renae hadn’t needed him to “fix” anything. What she’d needed was for someone who also loved Cade to show up, to listen, to not be afraid to talk about him. He’d needed that, too, more than he realized.
Firing up his bike, he gazed at the unkempt yard.
He could also honor his friend by being there for the family Geo knew had meant everything to him. His joy and pride in his daughters was front and center in almost everything Cade did, from carrying their picture in his helmet to taking along the tiny stuffed bear that Ari had given him for “luck” on every single mission.
His jaw set with a new determination, Geo activated his Bluetooth and made a call.
“A SEAL brother’s wife needs help,” he said without preamble when Matt picked up. “You free tomorrow?”
After Geo explained the situation with the tree, Matt promised to be there with all the manpower and lawn tools he could muster.
“Be sure people know this is Cade Barlow’s family,” Geo grunted. “’Cause if anyone shows up and has a problem with that—”
“Got it,” Matt assured him. “There won’t be any problems.”