Finding quiet in the Brick Cell, it’s nice to be alone with Void and not have to worry about anyone else. We shared something together today while buying Reva, and it felt awesome.
We’ve come a long way from the first night we spent together after Eva and I were taken from the boat. Void would hardly talk to me. Actually, I did all the talking. He truly lived up to his name. It took every ounce of cheerfulness in me to break down his walls. Once I finally got there, it only took a minute, a split-second decision for him to brick that tough exterior back up. I still don’t know much about him, about his past, or where he comes from. All I know is he doesn’t like talking about it, and that’s when he shuts down.
I get it, my past is screwed too. My parents dying when I was young. Eva having to take care of us both. Then we were stolen to be sold. Tony DeLuca, the man who purchased Eva and me is actually a half-decent guy. He just goes about things in the wrong way, but it’s for the love of his family, and I get that now. Back when Andrés was threatening to hurt Eva, I would have done anything to protect her if Nycto hadn’t have stepped in. When Eva was shot, it killed me inside watching her bleeding out like that. That precise moment I realized that family is everything. For the people we love, the people who mean everything, I would do anything to keep them safe.
That’s why when I figured out the walls down here held people behind them, bad people, I knew we were going to be okay here.
When I first arrived—when I was free to roam the Bricking Room, the man I heard moaning in the walls and I had a chat. Sure, he was delirious, but he told me what he’d done to the club. He told me why he was bricked up behind the wall and why they were torturing him in that way.
Instantly, something inside of me clicked.
I felt darkness take hold because this man was bad.
Did he deserve to starve or suffocate to death for his sins? Maybe not, but I sure as hell wanted to be there to hear it happen.
I think I knew then, something inside me was fractured, broken, dark. I might come across as bright and bubbly on the surface, but something is lurking, something that needs to be tamed.
I got another taste of it when I rode Reva—a hint of the woman I’m supposed to be.
I got my first taste of it when I slammed that brick into Andrés’ face. Watching his skin rip at my hand made me feel mighty powerful and strong like I could do anything. Bricking him behind that wall made me feel unbreakable.
Having Void there observing me only made me want him more. The fact Void accepts I can be sweet Ivy and poisonous Ivy all at the same time means more to me than I can even comprehend.
I wish he would open up to me about his past.
We’ve established we have a safe space when we’re together, even if sometimes we fuck it up. I want to understand more about him. Void means the world to me. He’s been my rock since I arrived, and I wish he would lean on me as I do him.
“You’re deep in thought?” Void sighs, looking across at me as we sit on the sofa watching West World.
Inhaling, I blink a few times. “Am I?” My voice goes higher in the end.
Real convincing there, Ivy.
“You’ve been quiet since we got back.”
I sit up taller. “Just reliving riding your bike for the first time.”
“You sure that’s all? ‘Cause I thought it would make you happy, but you look… pensive?”
“Pensive, hey? Didn’t think you’d know how to use a big word like that.” I try to hold in my laugh.
He scowls and hits me with the soft plush of a cushion. I giggle, deflecting it, then lay my head on his lap. “I’m good, just thinking about things.”
Void’s fingers come out tenderly stroking my hair. “Like what?”
I sigh. “My place in this club.”
His fingers stop in my hair, his body tensing under me. “What do you mean?”
“I dunno… maybe I’m coasting.”
He doesn’t reply, but he inhales sharply. I turn to peek up at him, his complexion turning pale.
I bolt upright, frowning at him. “Void?”
“Y-You wanna leave the club?”
I gasp. “No! Shit, no! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”
He lets out the breath he was holding. “Shit, Ivy! Then what the hell do you mean?”
I weakly smile. Void wraps his arm around me, his cheek resting on my head. “I mean, I feel like I should be doing more. I wanna… I dunno… be more a part of the club. Do more for it. Riding Reva today made me so freaking happy, so damn excited, that I felt like a part of myself was forming. Oh, hell, I can’t tell if I’m making any kind of sense right now.”
Void pulls me closer. “I understand completely. I know the feeling all too well. The first time I rode a bike, something clicked inside me, too. Let me talk to Nycto. You’re already running the crops and maintaining the Bricking Room, I’m not sure what else we can have you do when you’re not a patched member, but I will try.”
Gnawing on my bottom lip, warmth floods through me. I’ve never been more excited at the prospect of finding my place here. I thought I’d found it, but I want more. I don’t exactly know what more is, but after taking that next step and riding today, I have a buzz, a thrill for this life. I want to live like these Bastards do, I want to feel the rush of everything they conquer. I just have no idea about how that can even happen.
As I snuggle into Void, loving the fact he’s going to check into it for me, I hear footsteps pound outside the Brick Cell. I peek up just as Dash walks in. His eyes are bright when he spots me, but then they dim when he sees me wrapped up in Void. He clears his throat, glancing up to the television as if to appear uninterested. “It’s time to cultivate if you’re up for it?”
Void groans as I detach from him. I plant a small kiss on Void’s cheek, then stand. I walk out of the cell toward Dash, and we head for the crops. Contentment swarms through me when Void stays put in my room, he’s obviously going to wait for me to come back later.
“So, is this a new thing? You and Void?” Dash asks, his voice sounding somewhat forlorn as we enter the crop area.
“Kinda… the kissing is new.”
Dash scrunches up his face, and he’s definitely coming across a little jealous. Still, I have no idea what to say to alleviate his concerns.
We get to work, starting the process of harvesting the mature plants. I keep to myself while pondering Dash’s actions. I can’t understand why he’s envious of Void? I’ve never had a guy jealous over me before. There’s definite tension in the air as Dash keeps to himself on the other side of the room.
Actually, I’m a little deflated that my good friend is keeping me at arm’s length when we’ve been nothing but good pals up to this point.
The tension in the air is thick, but we’ve gathered what we need to take to Whiskey who will ship it to Trixie’s café.
I box the items up and turn to Dash. “Are we okay? I don’t like this…” I wave my hands around, “… us not talking.”
Dash exhales, putting down his clipboard, and he turns to me. “You know what, Ivy… no, we’re not okay.”
My eyes widen as I stand taller. “Okay… talk to me.”