However, as I knew in the rational part of my brain, my body was designed to do this. Eventually, it wasn’t up to me. I couldn’t not push anymore. When I made peace with that little biological phenomenon, Franz Benedict Alexander came into the world weighing six pounds, seven ounces.
Franz was Ronin’s German grandfather’s name, which had plenty of perfect meanings like Frenchman and free.
Benedict was my grandfather’s name, the lumberjack who built my home.
Lots of solid testosterone in our son’s name.
“He’s perfect, Evie …” Ronin almost made it. Almost …
A single tear escaped as he kissed Franz’s tiny head while I cradled him in my arms.
My tears were too many to count. A million was my best guess.
The midwife and nurse meandered around the room doing post-delivery things to me and Franz without actually taking him from my arms. Within minutes, a lactation consultant joined us to make sure he attached to his food source.
Everything … everything was perfect.
Several hours later, we had company, just family—my parents and grandma and Lila and Graham. Ronin’s parents were scheduled to arrive in two days. Franz insisted on coming out a week early just to mess up their plans of being there for the birth.
“Evelyn.” My mom tried to cry even more tears than I had cried. She wanted to live long enough to meet at least one grandchild.
I had no doubt she would live to meet all of her grandchildren and maybe a few of her great-grandchildren. My mom embodied the true meaning of strength and perseverance.
“Meet your first grandson, Franz.” After being alert for two hours following the birth and eating like a champ, he had drifted off to sleep in Ronin’s arms.
With a bit of reluctance, Ronin handed our son over to my mom. God, I loved how he instantly bonded with Franz. It made me fall for him all over again. It made those three unspoken words multiply with meaning and emotion.
“Congratulations. He’s beautiful.” Lila kissed my head and squeezed my hand as she looked adoringly … maybe even longingly at Franz.
“Thank you.” I squeezed her hand back.
“Congrats,” Graham mumbled without looking up from his phone screen. He wore a gray suit and perfectly knotted tie. The reality of his new position hit me for the first time as I glanced at his security detail stationed by the door.
“How’s the new job?” Ronin asked Graham, resting his hand on Graham’s shoulder.
He took two seconds away from his phone to smile at Ronin, which was more than he gave me—his friend of more than a decade.
“Good. I feel pulled in a million directions.” He glanced back down at his screen.
“Nice of you to come, Governor Graham Cracker.” That finally brought his attention to me.
He smirked. “Governor Porter to you.”
“I would never invite a politician to visit my newborn son just hours after delivery. So you’d better have more to offer than a smirk and starchy suit and tie.” I held out my hand.
Graham sighed, relinquishing his phone to the inside pocket of his jacket before taking my hand and giving me a hug. “Are you still taking care of our Lila?” I whispered in his ear.
He pulled back a few inches, inspecting me with slightly narrowed eyes. “Yes. What are you getting at?” Graham glanced over his shoulder at Lila who had her attention focused on Franz.
My question held no implication other than a simple reminder that I gave him Lila. Yes. That was how I remembered things. I just wanted to make sure that Governor Porter hadn’t forgotten that his most important job was loving my best friend. The greatest gift anyone had ever given him came from me. I gave him Lila.
“What?” Lila caught his gaze on her. Then she looked at me with confusion on her face.
“Just making sure Governor Porter is treating his First Lady like the queen she is.” I winked at Lila.
She didn’t wink back.
He didn’t show any emotion. Instead, he released my hand and fished his phone out of his pocket again. “Ten minutes, then we have to go,” he said to Lila.
I waited for her to roll her eyes or tell him there was no way they were leaving in ten minutes. They just got there. Who flies to Aspen for a ten-minute visit?
She didn’t roll her eyes.
She didn’t argue.
“Okay.” She returned an emotionless nod to Graham before shooting me the most pathetic fake smile I had ever seen.
Like I had done so many times before, I thanked god I didn’t end up with Graham. I wasn’t submissive enough to live under his shadow of control. I didn’t think Lila was either. I thought she would complement him, put him in his place, and build him up when he needed to exert his independence from his family. Since his family liked her, I thought she was the perfect person to do that.
Maybe I was wrong.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Two.
I stuck two candles in the birthday cake. Where did the time go? How was it possible that our little guy was turning two?
“You’re not crying, are you?” Ronin asked, sliding his hands around my waist and kissing my neck.
My teary gaze lifted from the cake, focusing out the window at our family and friends building a snowman out front with Franz. It was all he wanted for his birthday. A snowman. Man … I loved that kid so damn much my heart always teetered on the verge of bursting.
It was another perfect day in our life together. Well, almost perfect. Graham and Lila couldn’t make it. They didn’t make it to a lot of things. Since they got married, my friends took on a new life that didn’t involve us quite as much. Ronin saw Graham more than I did. They skied several times during the winter and managed to play golf once a week during the summer.
Lila took the role as First Lady and ran with it. I was so proud of my friend for walking away from a profession she loved to embrace her own civic duty. She wanted to make a difference in the lives of the great people of Colorado, and she did. Sadly, that meant I saw her maybe once a month, relying on quick phone calls and texts as our new form of communication.
“I’m not crying. It’s just dry in the house. Did you refill the humidifier?”
Ronin made me turn toward him. “Yes. I did.”
I nodded, averting my teary-eyed gaze. “Good. That’s good.”
“He’s two, not twenty.” Ronin slid his hands into the back pockets of my jeans and pulled me closer to him.
I held out my arms because my hands were a little sticky from frosting the cake. “It’s not that. It’s how bittersweet everything has become in our lives. It’s the change. It’s Lila and Graham being too busy to make it to the party.”
“It’s life, Evie. He’s The Governor. He was supposed to ski with me last week, but he had to cancel. I didn’t take it personally. And neither should you.”
“I’m not.” Well, I sort of wasn’t. I knew Graham and Lila weren’t missing any birthday parties for Graham’s family. I hated feeling like we were growing apart. Family wasn’t supposed to grow apart. It was stupid of me to fix up my best friends, like putting all my eggs in one basket. It felt like I was losing them at the same time.
I sighed, licking the frosting from one of my fingers. “They’re not even done rolling the first snowball for the body. They’re going to be out there for a while. I should throw in a load of laundry since I have a few spare minutes.”