Sue’s car was gone, and the Subaru was parked in the garage. I anticipated takeout waiting for me and the kids in need of baths. On the nights Ronin got home before me, which wasn’t often, he picked up dinner so at least everyone was fed. Since the accident, work took everything out of him. I was appreciative of his efforts. Takeout was fine.
I slipped off my boots and opened the door. “Sorry, I’m so late—”
“Shh …” Ronin put a sudsy finger up to his lips.
With wide eyes and an unhinged jaw, I stood unmoving at the door. The house was quiet. My husband stood at the kitchen sink doing dishes in his thermal shirt and jeans that he wore over his base-layer pants to commute to and from work.
I slid off my jacket and padded into the kitchen in my wool socks.
“Your dinner is in the oven, keeping warm,” Ronin murmured as he rinsed the last dish.
“You made dinner?” I wrapped my arms around him, resting my cheek on his back.
“I need a shower, babe. You might not want to hug me. But yes, I made dinner.”
“It’s eight-thirty. Are the kids really asleep?” I slipped on an oven glove and retrieved my dinner.
“Yep, or at least they’re probably close.”
“Bathed?” I set my plate on the counter and glanced at Ronin, giving him a raised brow.
He dried his hands and hung the wet towel over the dishwasher handle. “Yes. Bathed. Any more questions before I shower?” Ronin crossed his arms over his broad chest.
I loved the way he looked after a day on the slopes in his fitted shirt, messy hair, and the perfect shadow of stubble covering his handsome chiseled face.
“No more questions.” I grinned, grabbing a fork from the drawer. “You seem to have a bit more energy today.”
“It’s been an okay day. I’m not sure I have that much more energy, but I’ve been in a good mood all afternoon, and that goes a long way.”
I nodded slowly, taking a seat at the little nook by the window. “Lila was in a good mood today too.”
“I figured.” Ronin turned and disappeared down the hallway.
I poked around at my dinner, no longer feeling hungry. He figured. What did I expect? He told me everything. I let him think I believed him, even when I knew my doubts overshadowed the true conviction I fed to him at the shop two weeks earlier. The worst part? I think he knew. Disappointment took up residence in his eyes when he looked at me … when I couldn’t hold his gaze.
He figured.
Lila had a good day. Ronin had a good day. Coincidence? God … I hoped so. After forcing several bites of food, I covered my plate and put it in the fridge. Tiptoeing into Franz’s room, I gave him a kiss on the head. He didn’t even stir. Then I did the same to Anya. She released a heavy sigh, which made me smile. Ronin had not only made dinner; he wore the kids out, bathed them, and had them asleep before nine.
As I sneaked out of Anya’s room, Ronin’s voice stopped me. Tears filled my eyes. After two weeks of silence, he was singing Sinatra in the shower again. My lips curled into a much needed smile. The whole day had been filled with smiles.
Lila had a good day. Ronin had a good day.
Releasing a slow breath, I pulled my sweater over my head while instinct guided me to the bathroom. One by one, my clothes dotted the floor like crumbs on a trail.
“Evie.” Ronin grinned as I opened the glass shower door.
I stepped inside, closing my eyes as he retreated to let me under the shower head. When I opened my eyes, Ronin was just … gazing at me like he did that day in the little cafe in Vancouver. It made my heart feel light, like it had wings, exactly like that day in Vancouver.
He didn’t touch me. He didn’t have to.
“I’m glad you had a good day.” I moved behind him, kissing along his back.
Ronin pressed his hands to the tile wall, bowing his head. My fingers massaged his back, inching lower until he moaned.
“Yes … god that feels incredible.”
He mentioned a bit of back pain the previous day. I didn’t think much of it, until Lila said she had lower back pain.
It’s sciatic pain, shoots down the back of my good leg.
Her words replayed in my mind as my thumbs kneaded lower, working to his left side and down over the tight muscles of his buttock.
“Evie … god … right there. How did you know I needed that right there?”
I hoped his question was rhetorical because I couldn’t answer. Too many tears falling down my face mingled with the water as a hard lump formed in my throat.
You feel her …
What did it mean? If I acknowledged it, what was I supposed to do? What would happen next? Was Lila dying in spite of her great strides toward recovery? Or would she live, leaving Ronin to be a voodoo doll enduring every painful moment of her life … for the rest of her life?
We stayed in the shower until the hot water evaporated into a lukewarm stream. Ronin shut off the water and turned toward me. Water clung to his thick eyelashes as he blinked. We weren’t the only ones in that tiny space. All the unknowns wedged their way between us—my mom’s cancer and Lila’s recovery.
The voice.
Weeks without making love.
Days of going through the motions to keep our family functioning.
We were merely existing, until that day. Hope peeked its head over our horizon. She wasn’t blindingly bright quite yet, but that didn’t stop us from feeling her warmth.
“Lila’s having lower back pain. On her left side. Sciatica.”
Ronin nodded slowly, blinking away more droplets of water. “Why the tears, Evie?” He brushed his thumb along my cheek below my eye.
“I wanted to believe you, but it was just … hard.”
His other hand landed on my neck, gentle yet possessive. He bent down and kissed me, delivering his love with complete patience, unbroken trust, and a never-ending passion. That kind of love shouldn’t have evoked regret or guilt, but it did. I think I could have told him I saw a pig flying and he would have believed me. I felt certain Ronin loved me in a way that reached far beyond the simple definition of unconditional.
“Roe!” I gasped as he lifted me up, guiding my legs around his waist. “I’m too heavy. Your back …”
His open mouth swallowed my protests as he carried me to the bedroom. I sucked in a breath, turning my head to the side as my wet back hit the sheets.
“Cold!”
He grinned at me, leaning back to grab the blankets, completely covering us under their tent.
I giggled. It felt incredible.
“Evelyn Alexander … you are my favorite.” He kissed his way down my body, pausing at my breasts just long enough to make me moan and arch my back, slowly threading my hands into his wet hair.
“Your favorite what?” I murmured as my eyes closed.
He dragged his tongue down the center of my body achingly slow while his strong hands gripped my hips. “Everything.” He dipped his tongue into my navel. “You’re my favorite everything.”
“Roe …”
He excelled at wringing every possible emotion out of me. I needed a few minutes to just bask in his words. They were really incredible words, maybe the best words a man had ever spoken to a woman. However, my mind wandered to his back. I knew it hurt. “Your back.” I made another protest.