“Yes?” he replied and tapped at a key, almost like he was trying to convince himself he was still working, but he didn’t look at the screen.
I curled my hand around his kneecap, holding it for a second, waiting to see if that would be allowed. He just stared with his violet eyes. The intense scrutiny made my skin ripple with goose bumps. I wasn’t sure if he was waiting for me to do or say something, or if he was just enjoying silently memorizing my body.
“That was…. I mean, are we going to…? I—”
“It’s okay if you’re feeling shaken up.” He brushed my hair from my forehead and his smile was gentle.
“I liked that a lot,” I finally said and scooted up to sit beside him. I was still naked, but aside from being shockingly aware of every inch of my skin, I didn’t care. I wanted him to see me and maybe decide he needed more of what we’d done earlier.
West did that ogling thing for another couple of seconds and then finally closed his laptop. He leaned over to set it on the floor by the bed, keeping eye contact with me the whole while. “Now that we’re….” He shook his head and moved around until he had the pillow he’d been leaning against in his hand, and then he plopped it down on my lap. When that was done, he grinned. “There, now I can focus on your face. You’re not a shy boy right now. Are you good? Tell me now if you don’t like what we did. Any part of it. Did I hurt you too much? You have to talk to me about what happened.” He fired off questions, and I shrank back a little, overwhelmed.
“I… I don’t…. Do I have to?”
He ran his fingers along my temple, almost as if he could see inside my head by touch alone. “If you didn’t like something, I need you to tell me, or I’ll just do it again. Here.” He held out his arm for me. “You’re too far away.”
I practically threw myself against his side and snuggled there happily. He let out a sigh and dropped his cheek to the top of my head. We fit together so right that my chest squeezed with the fast way we locked together. I could have had this since last winter. His touch made some of the low-level ache that was always boiling inside me lately sink down until I could almost forget it was there. “You made me feel great.”
“Which parts were great?”
“All of ’em.”
He snickered and tightened his arm around me. His chest rose and fell under my cheek, and his muscles were solid in a way that made me feel… safe. I pressed closer.
“Okay, that’s a start, but what else was good?”
“Seriously, everything. I liked when you, uh, had your tongue inside me,” I said. My entire body flashed hot and then cold, and then my dick was nudging firmly against the pillow. I shivered and pressed the soft cushion closer. West let out a small hum and rested his hand on top of mine, but instead of making me stop, he put more pressure on my hand—and the soft torture on my dick—until I let out a hiss.
“Do you have a problem calling me daddy, Shane? Or with me calling you my boy?” he whispered in my ear. The words bounced around inside my skull and my stomach tickled on the inside with them, hot and tingly and good.
“No. I like that… Daddy.”
He groaned. “You’re sure? I… am partial to it, but we don’t have to.”
“No, I like it.” I turned to flick a quick glance at his face, but shivered, and had to look away again. I studied the few veins visible on the back of the hand he held over mine and squirmed my hips until a pleasant heat slid through my stomach. “A lot. I like it a lot. I don’t really know why.”
He shrugged. “With sex, I don’t think it helps to overthink what gets us going.”
“I’m sure there’s an entire slew of Freudian reasons people love things like this,” I said with a smile in his direction, but then sort of wished I hadn’t because his eyebrows flew up and his amusement bled away into something more pensive.
“See, that’s the kind of overthinking we don’t need in our lives.” He leaned over so he could smirk against my lips where he ghosted a light kiss, and I got lost in how happy I felt for a change as his gaze fastened onto my mouth and stayed there.
“Is this going to bother you? Doing this with me?” I asked.
He shot his attention to my eyes, and for a second I was concerned, but that tenseness slowly eased out of me as he urged our joined hands down on the pillow again, driving another easy wave of heat into my dick.
“I don’t know. I don’t think it would be possible for us to… help each other, and not feel some sense of….” He shrugged and didn’t finish the sentence, but I knew what he meant.
“Guilt?”
He shook his head. “Maybe. I don’t know. You’re my responsibility.”
“I’m not a kid.”
A smile tugged at his lips but didn’t stay. “If we keep doing this, you will be my boy.”
My heart raced. The belonging; that’s part of what I’d been missing all this time. I crept my hand onto his thigh and squeezed. His gaze heated and he rested his hand over mine where I touched him, holding it still. I was trapped now, and so close to him. I wanted to make him feel as good as he had me, but when I tried to inch closer to the ridge I could see clearly under his pants seam, he held me still. “Why wouldn’t you… you know. Let me.” I tried to move again, but no go.
West lifted my hand up from his leg and gusted warm breath across the back of my hand instead of answering. He put a butterfly kiss on every bony ridge of my knuckles and then flipped my hand over and licked a warm stripe on the pulse point juddering wildly in my wrist. He pressed his tongue there and seemed to measure my life with it before he closed his lips around the spot and sucked. Heat blasted from a bright burst in my chest and then shot down into my stomach. My dick bucked and my asshole clenched while pleasure tickled along the inside of my thighs. I flexed my groin muscles and my dick shoved against the pillow, sending another shock of joy through my shaft and down into my balls. I already felt steamy and full of cream again. I dropped my head back against the headboard.
“You’re so sensitive,” he murmured.
I shrugged. “The times I’ve been with a guy, he jizzed after about two minutes of serious action. I don’t think I’m any better or worse.”
He rubbed his cheek against my wrist, and I sucked in a breath at the scrape of his stubble. “That is not what I mean at all. You’re young. Most guys get off fast at your age, but there’s a difference between having not learned to hold off and being receptive. You’re beautiful, Shane, and you’re….” He shook his head. “I want you to know you’re unique. Your own person.”
West’s normally tan skin took on a ruddy hue, and my gut fluttered as I finally got what he was saying. He was trying to tell me that I’m not like Carter. Part of me wished he’d have said the name out loud, but maybe in bed, when I was hard and naked, was a bad place to do that. I didn’t know. I had no idea what was right and wrong for us. “Are there rules for this sort of thing?”
“Being my boy?”
That’s not exactly what I’d been talking about—I meant, more sleeping with your dead brother’s boyfriend, but whatever, sure. I nodded.