“You have such good manners. Shy, Boy. Shy Shane. That blush gives me life.” He smiled down into my face. His strong body plastered onto mine had my stomach rioting with all the swoops and sharp thumps of heat that blasted through it. He reached down and grasped one of my legs, and I wrapped it around his waist as he guided me, then I brought the other up so that we were pressed together, my dick nestled in beside the hot ridge in his pants. I writhed and humped against him, and he let out the hottest fucking moan.
I tried to find that perfect friction between us again, wanted more nonverbal admiration from him, but he moved his hands around to cup my ass. He flexed and dry fucked against me, and I let my head drop back to the floor with the crazy-fresh goodness that pelted all around my insides like an out-of-control bouncy ball.
“Does this feel good?” he asked as he pistoned his hips a few more times. I was too busy enjoying the rush to do more than nod, but that must have been enough for him. He nuzzled his face against my neck, found my pulse point, and sucked like he thought he could draw the desperate need out of my body that way. The wet heat of his mouth and slight pain careened on a zipline through my body to my wood. I somehow got harder, and the tip of my dick swelled and throbbed, pulsing with each brush of his hard-on against mine.
My nipples ached in time to the draw of his mouth against my skin, nothing I’d experienced before, and my asshole was a weirdly tense part of my body. I felt like I could explode already. This was the wildest, craziest rush. I arched and whined, turning my head farther to give him more room. He chuckled, a low, playful sound that was so full of wickedness my shaft twitched.
“I’m going to. I’m almost there,” I whispered. My hands shook as I clawed at West’s shoulders. He moved roughly against me, and I whined with the straining, reaching feeling of dangling on the edge of something huge and good. He sucked up higher on my neck, below my ear. My vision whited out for a few seconds, then I arched almost violently when he scraped his teeth along the spot.
He moved up to kiss my ear, and I didn’t notice what he was doing until he had my dick free of my pants. The second his hand wrapped around me for real, I stilled, only my heart racing forward at a breakneck pace. Too much fire flowed through my body, and I struggled for a breath. He slid his strong hand up and down my already sticky shaft and sucked on my earlobe.
My cum spurted out of me so abruptly I thought I died. For one breath the entire world flashed with heat and color, and then I convulsed under his tight, wonderful grip, and the endless draw of his mouth on my earlobe.
“Oh—” I wanted to tell him how good it all was but couldn’t finish the thought. Some of that ice inside me splintered and melted as I fell back to the floor, so wrung out I couldn’t even focus on West when he went onto his knees and stared down into my face. He sat up and opened his belt and then his pants. He took out that shaft I’d been riding, and I wasn’t disappointed. I sighed happily as I got a good eyeful. He was large enough that he pointed above his belt, as turned on as he was right now. He was extra fat at the head, glinting and rosy at the top.
West gritted his teeth and stared down at me, an expression I wasn’t sure I liked etched on his face. He tugged his own cock fast. I reached for him, wanted to help, but he shook his head, and I let my hand drop down to his thighs where I kneaded the tense muscles.
He hissed out a long breath and tilted himself down toward me. One more stroke with a twist of his wrist, and he shouted wordlessly as he painted my dick with thick, pearly ropes of cum. The sight of him nutting slayed me. My dick quivered and struggled to get hard again. I wanted to see myself erect and glistening with his cum. Moaning, I ran my fingers through the mess and brought some glossy liquid to my mouth to suck my fingers dry. The bitter burst on my tongue was perfect.
“Oh fuck, why did you have to do that?” West sounded so turned on, so happy, but he scowled in a way that didn’t match what was happening, and my heart crashed.
“I wanted to taste you and—”
“No, I know,” he said and abruptly tucked himself away, still hard. He grimaced as he zipped and buckled, obviously uncomfortable.
“You don’t have to—”
West shot to his feet with a hand over his mouth. He stood there staring like I was a ghost and then turned his back on me. “This can’t happen again,” he said, voice harsh.
Dumbly I nodded, not sure what other option I had aside from listen to him, not even sure what the hell had just really happened. “Thank you. I… I know this wasn’t right, but thank you.”
He shuddered and hung his head, a dull laugh escaping him. He mumbled something that sounded like “the universe fucking hates me,” but I wasn’t sure. The room was fuzzy and warm, and the darkened house seemed homey instead of sinister and lonely, the way it had earlier when I was alone. By the time I got myself decent and back on my feet, he was in his room with the door closed.
West ignoring me again was all right, though, because I felt like maybe I could get through the next week now—and if I could get through next week, maybe I could make it till classes started and I could distract myself with schoolwork. All at once, what I’d done today seemed epically stupid. Hopefully I wouldn’t get called to go for another test until this whiskey was out of my system. I couldn’t afford to spend thirty days in jail, and even though I was paranoid now, it was good to finally be feeling something again.
On my way to bed, I brushed my fingers against the closed door to West’s room, and guilt clawed at me, but not nearly as much as I expected. Carter was gone, and I had his old suits hanging in my closet to prove it, but West and I were still here, still alive, and I had his cum on my body to prove that.
Clearly I was fucked in the head, but I went to bed and collapsed into a deep, contented sleep.
Chapter 4
West
I was a fucking monster. What kind of man slept with his dead lover’s little brother? Carter was barely gone, and I’d splashed cum all over Shane, left behind a part of myself that shouldn’t have been anywhere near him.
The thought made my stomach lurch, and I ran to the toilet in the bathroom connected to my bedroom. I dropped in front of the bowl and heaved, vomit burning at my throat as the alcohol and sandwich I’d had at lunch resurfaced. When I had nothing left to give, I fell against the wall beside the toilet, and my chest shuddered in half breaths as anxiety dug into me like a knife in my side. I’d always had panic attacks, but then Carter came along and we started a game where I was the man in charge, the daddy, and he’d been my boy. The power that came with that role-playing made me more confident in everyday life. Now I didn’t have Carter, and I was back to where I’d started. Terrified. Uncontrolled.
Fuck!
Carter had trusted me to protect Shane, not get off on him. I slammed my fist on the tiled floor and let out a scream, not loud enough to have Shane knocking at my door, but enough to make my throat sore. There was no way I could forgive myself after this.
I tilted my head back and stared up at the ceiling. “What have I done, Carter? I fucked up.”
But Carter didn’t answer back. He couldn’t anymore. Whenever I did something stupid in the past, he would have been there to wrap me in his arms, kiss me on the forehead, and tell me it was okay. Now I had no one.