I wanted to, but I didn’t.
“Oh,” she said dully. “Right.”
“It’s not fun at first, not by any means, but after you do it a few times, your body gets used to the strain and you recover within seconds.” I turned to look at her, shocked to find that she was staring right at me, eyes blazing. I couldn’t tell if it was out of anger or desire, but it looked like both. Like she hated me, and she wanted to use her teeth to show me how much. “Why the fuck are you looking at me like that?”
She didn’t even flinch at my tone. “Why are you the one teaching me this, boss man? You could have easily given this job to either of the other two.”
I held back a growl at the thought of either Cabe or Quint being the ones alone with her. No. No way.
“You just said it. I’m boss man. Now shut up and listen to me, because we’re almost there,” I snapped. I couldn’t let her see the lie. I didn’t choose to take her here because I was in charge of our little group. I did it because I wanted to be the one to do this with her.
After all, it was going to hurt both of us.
When she shifted into her Angel form for the first time since her Transition, she would be in more pain than she was when it first happened. Her body had formed scar tissue in the spot that her wings first broke skin. She would be in pain, and she would definitely be angry.
Quint wouldn’t know what to do, he didn’t have wings. Cabe would try and soothe her with warm words and feelings.
No, she needed someone to push her through it. Slam her through the pain and hold her firmly on the other side. No pity, no sympathy. I planned to be her rock, her steady hand, and I selfishly wanted to take that opportunity away from my brothers.
“No!” she yelled. “I’m not going to fucking shut up. Tell me why you act like you hate me! Is that it? Do you hate me? I don’t want to be here anymore than you, so let’s just have this out now.”
I must have been better than I thought at masking my feelings, because Anna clearly had no idea that I didn’t hate her. I couldn’t. I wanted to hate her more than I wanted to breathe, but in reality, my steadily growing feelings for her made me breathe easier. That was the biggest pill to swallow.
Even still, I held that mask to my face as I replied, “I hate you because I have to babysit you instead of living my fucking life. My mate hasn’t come, so I’m stuck following orders, and those orders happen to be making sure your annoying ass doesn’t get killed. So, as I politely told you before, shut the fuck up and let me teach you how to not get killed.”
I lied, not wanting to admit that I was ninety-nine percent sure that I was already looking at my mate—it made our connection too serious, too real.
I thought she’d be hurt and move on, leave me alone for a while, but instead, she laughed hysterically in my passenger seat. She laughed so hard that tears ran down over her sharp cheekbones and landed on the seductive curve of her lips. “You’re so full of shit, Lanier. This situation is crazy as hell, but you’re a liar.” She was still laughing.
I glared at her, not sensing the joke.
“Oh, I’m sorry, did you think that you could simply say, ‘I have to follow orders,’ and I’d be like, ‘Oh sure, that makes perfect sense. Of course, I’d hate me too’? Or are you just dumb?” She watched me, her violet eyes flaring in amusement as she walked her way through my lie. I’d misjudged her, and she baited me into lying. She did it effortlessly. It didn’t even take her a moment to think it over. No, this girl saw right the fuck through me. “Is that what you’re telling me? Or would you like to rethink your answer and give me the real reason?”
She crossed her arms over her chest and stared me down, those lilac pools rolling slowly—like a brewing storm.
She knew why, at the very least she had an idea. This bond, my beast’s connection to her, seemed to be living. The need to protect and care for her was hard to resist. I didn’t need to explain, but she wasn’t going to let this go until I told her the truth. “For fuck’s sake, Annalise. Fine, I didn’t want their fucking hands on you. I wanted to be the one to do this for you. I wanted to be here. I wanted to help you through the excruciating pain you’re about to endure. I think you know all of that though, and you want to talk about something else. What is it that you want to know, Annalise?”
She glared at me with no amusement on her pretty face. Yeah, she could read me, but I could read her too. She wanted me to explain our feelings. She wanted me to tell her that I understood her feelings for me, but I couldn’t do that.
“I want out of this fucking car,” she spat, her tone making my dick twitch.
“Ditto, baby.”
Alright, so this was going to hurt.
That sucked major balls to hear, but I appreciated the warning. I spent the next ten minutes going back and forth, contemplating begging Lanier to tell me what was going on with me and preparing myself mentally for the physical pain I was about to be in. If I told myself how bad it would be, I would hopefully be surprised when it wasn’t as bad as I imagined.
However, it was hard to do when my body was on fire. My brain was short circuiting, and the fucking traitor between my legs throbbed against my will.
Our little argument sent me spiraling.
I wanted him. I craved him as badly as I craved my next breath, and I started thinking about the last forty-eight hours and all the shit that had gone down. All because of my fucking birthday.
Lanier’s flames inched toward mine the whole car ride. I felt them licking the leather between us, slithering over the folds of my clothing, setting fire to the ticking time bomb within our souls. I wanted him. And not just in the fuck-me-dirty kind of way. I wanted to know him—so bad that my chest hurt, like I was missing something important and I wouldn’t be complete until he gave it back.
I wanted him to want me.
“We’re here, Annalise,” he grumbled, turning off the engine.
Sure enough, we were parked on an empty street, surrounded by woods.
“Where the hell is here?” I asked him. It was just past dawn now, and my limbs had grown achy over the two-hour drive.
“We’re going to walk about a mile to a clearing. Then I’m going to teach you to push out your wings.” He got out and slammed his door with more force than necessary, proving that he was also on edge.
I unbuckled my seatbelt with a sigh and pushed my door open. As I set my sneaker-covered feet on the ground, I wondered briefly where the hell they came from and when I put them on.
“Where did these come from?” I asked, pointing to the all-white Nikes. They fit perfectly.
“Cabe went out to buy them while you slept yesterday, knowing you didn’t have anything besides those heels,” he replied absently, voice distracted.
“And he didn’t think to get me a new outfit that actually fit?” I questioned, confused about why I was still in Lanier’s clothes.
“I told him not to.” He shrugged his big shoulders and tried to distract me from the question. “Watch out for little creatures; this area is dense.”
It worked. I looked up at the mention of our surroundings, mouth dropping open. Sure as shit, we were parked just outside a small clearing that was surrounded in a U-shape by massive trees. The dark green woods stood out like a giant shadow against the rising sun.