He needs it, and you vowed to follow your instinct. It means nothing in the long run. I reminded myself, ignoring the panic that tried to choke me. I could be there for him, be his friend, without blurring the lines.
How was it that I was able to take the emotions out of sex, but holding someone’s hand was almost too much?
Once the elevator opened, we all stepped in and took places against the mirrored walls. As a group, we stayed silent and alert as the elevator dropped ten floors to the parking garage.
I let them lead the way, not knowing what car we would be driving.
Quint led the group to a thick matte black Escalade with chromed out rims and a mean looking grille on the front.
I grinned. “Fuck yeah, Q. This baby is hot as hell.”
“Check out her ass, she’s locked and loaded.”
I walked around the back of the car, whistling. It was beautiful and just a little grungy. It fit the three of them perfectly.
Despite it being Quint’s car, Lanier beeped the key fob and slid into the driver’s seat with that serious expression still on his face. If I hadn’t known what his dick tasted like, I’d be afraid of him, but I knew where to bite and how to scratch in order to have him at my mercy. I had no reason to be afraid.
I jumped into the passenger seat and clicked my seat belt in place. “Do you know where you’re going?” I asked.
“I do,” Quint piped up in the back seat next to Cabe, a wicked smirk on his face.
“He informed us,” Lanier grumbled, remembering the night Quint came to visit before my Transition. God, it felt like years ago when it was only just a few days ago.
Time was flying so fast, my life changing by the second.
The drive was quiet and full of tension, all of us scanning our surroundings, checking for any sort of threat.
When we pulled up to my apartment, I just stared at the front door with dread leaking in my stomach. I really didn’t want to go in, to attempt to explain all of this to Joey. I had barely accepted it all myself, and there was no way that he would let me go without a fight.
“You have to get out of the car at some point,” Lanier said in a dry voice a few minutes later.
“Shut up, I know that.”
“Vixen.” For the first time, my heart skipped at the nickname. He was staring at me with a blank expression, but I felt his confidence in me bleeding through the bond. It dripped along my heart and turned my spine to steel.
I closed my eyes and nodded. “Alright, boss man, let’s go.”
His lips lifted for a fraction of a second before slipping back to the stony leader he was. He didn’t want to be here any more than I did, but we both knew it had to be done. I had to cut ties with Joey before I could really move forward.
I got out, the other three following my lead.
As a unit, we walked to the front door—me in the middle, Lanier on one side, Cabe on the other, Quint at my back. I turned the old rusted handle, knowing it would be unlocked, and as soon as I did, I was hit in the face with a cloud of marijuana smoke.
“Jesus fuck,” Quint coughed, laughing. “Homie doesn’t mess around.”
“Welcome home,” I deadpanned.
Lanier scoffed as Cabe stepped into the house first, looking from left to right. The place was a disaster, worse than it was earlier in the week.
“What the fuck?” Joey’s bedroom door flew open as he barged through it. “Annalise?”
He rushed forward, running down the hall before grabbing me in a bone crushing hug. “I was so fucking worried. Where have you been?”
“Around, Joe,” I said evasively, pulling out of his embrace. “Listen, I have to make this quick. I’m just coming to grab my stuff.”
His dark hair was greasy, his brown eyes were weighed down by dark blue bags that sat beneath them. He looked exhausted, and I felt a fresh wave of guilt.
His tone didn’t shock me when he asked, “I’m sorry? Why are you grabbing your stuff? Who are these guys?” He looked over the faces of the guys before his eyes brightened in recognition. “Back the fuck up, these are the guys from Hellhound on your birthday. What are they doing here? Have you been with them this whole time?”
“Yes,” I nodded. “I really don’t have a ton of time right now, and I’m sorry that I made you worry, but you were worried for a good reason. Shit is happening that I don’t understand just yet, but…I don’t know, Joe, it’s pretty bad. I think, at least. I’m not sure. I just need you to let me leave without throwing a fit, because I’m going either way and these guys are no fucking joke. We’re all a little…”
“Wound up,” Lanier growled, glaring daggers at my ex, who was still wrapped around me like a spider monkey.
Quint’s leg was bouncing rapidly as he leaned against the wall of my living room. He was anxious again, making me fucking dizzy.
“You expect me to just let you move out? Like this?” Joey looked at me like I was ripping his world apart with my shiny new claws. So much pain lingered in his eyes. I felt like fucking garbage, but there was nothing I could do. I needed to stay with the guys; I couldn’t even imagine trying to live here and figure this out while they lived in the penthouse. If their emotions fluctuated even a little, it would send me into a blind panic.
No, I couldn’t do it.
I softened my expression and smiled sadly at him. “You knew this wasn’t going to last forever, Joe. You need to live your life without waiting for me to be your girl. I don’t have what you’re looking for, and you deserve more than I could ever give you.”
“Annalise, I’m your friend,” he argued. “I want you here, not with them. Why would you just leave like this?”
Cabe stepped forward then and looked at Joey with understanding blazing in the depths of his blue eyes. As if he knew what Joey was feeling and could relate to his mindset. “Because she’s in danger, man. We don’t know how much, we don’t know anything really, but we know that she needs to be with us right now. I’m sure she will come back and explain eventually, but for now…” His words trailed off as Joey looked Cabe from head to toe.
Joey was smaller, but Cabe made himself less intimidating in order to convince my ex to let us go without a fight. We didn’t have time for this.
“You got her?” Joey asked, squaring his shoulders. “And I mean really got her? Because I always had her. If she needed me…”
“We’ve got her,” Quint added from his place against the wall. He had stopped picking at his fingernails, that leg had gone still as he promised my ex that he would protect me.
My heart warmed against my will. The look on all three of their faces stunned me into silence. Hot tears, foreign and unwelcome, stung the back of my eyes. These lethal creatures vowed to have my back, and even though we already talked about it, they were saying it out loud to a stranger, proving it with their dark attitudes and eyes that followed my every move.
It was more than I could handle.
“I’m going to grab my shit,” I said quickly, clearing my throat. “You guys can work that out.”
I turned with purpose and walked to my room. Closing the door behind me, I paused, looking around at the familiar walls, the twinkling lights that hung from my ceiling. The half drank bottle of vodka in the corner of my bed.