Another burst of heat roared in my chest, and I pushed open my door. Safe. That word again. She was saying it playfully, but it still rubbed me the wrong way. “Suit yourself.”
I was letting the door close behind me just as I heard, “Hey, Bash.”
I caught the door in my hand and pushed it open just enough to lock eyes with her. Something tingled at the sound of her saying my nickname. It wasn’t that annoying itch I usually got when Dirk said it. This feeling was different. I might have actually liked it coming from her. “Yeah?”
“Thank you for encouraging me to join the cast. I think this might actually be good for me.”
A moment of silence passed while I tried to drum up an appropriate response, but I was still feeling the sting of her rejection. “Yeah, well, we haven’t left the dock yet.”
“I know, but baby steps are better than none at all, right?”
I nodded, suppressing all the things that compiled in my chest, like the fact that I thought she was brave as hell for facing her past the way she was.
“And I’m sorry for prying that day,” she rushed on. “I wasn’t trying to be rude, but I should have thought about what I was asking you. Your past is none of my business.”
My eyes darted between hers as I debated whether or not to accept her apology. But while I wholeheartedly believed her, accepting her apology meant I couldn’t stay pissed at her, and that would be dangerous. I needed to hate her, to loathe her, to feel like she could never understand me. Because if I started to let down my guard, I’d only want to fuck the apology out of her.
“Yeah, right, well, at least now you know to mind your goddamn business.”
Then I pushed the rest of the way through my door and let it shut behind me.
Baby steps.
Chapter 15
Kai
Every time I thought I was making progress with Sebastian, he tugged the life raft from me, letting me drift out to sea a few miles. The feelings swirling inside me while I thought about our last exchange were intense, rabid, raw. My insides heated, and I wanted nothing more than to shove open his door and rip him a new one.
I was the one who always jumped to his defense first when Jake or any of the crew members had something shitty to say about him. Earlier today at the gym, after Jake and Sebastian’s cock fight, I let Jake have it afterward. Just because Sebastian was always an impossible ass didn’t mean Jake had to stoop to his level.
Lucky for me, Sebastian made it easy to avoid him at the deck party. He seemed to be making his rounds and playing nice, but everyone knew he wasn’t one to form genuine friendships. As far as I could tell, Sebastian didn’t have a single friend.
Jake, on the other hand… Jake was simpler. He liked me, which would have been great if I didn’t believe his attraction was only surface level. We’d yet to truly form a connection outside the studio, but I imagined that was what he was trying to do at the party as he stuck like glue by my side.
I couldn’t complain too much. He was friendly, funny, and cute. With his dark-green eyes, wavy blond hair, and his obvious interest in me, he was just the diversion I needed to keep my mind off Sebastian.
“Hawaiian girl, huh?” Jake’s grin broadened. “I thought I noticed some island-girl features. Natural tan, light brown eyes, dark-brown hair.” He squinted almost seductively as his gaze locked on mine. “But those lips. Has anyone ever told you that you have fantastic lips?”
I laughed to shake free of the discomfort crawling through my insides. Something told me if Sebastian were to have asked those same questions, I wouldn’t be drumming up an excuse to leave the party early.
“That’s right,” I answered. “Born and raised in Oahu until I escaped for college.”
Jake scrunched his face in amusement. “Escaped? I don’t think I would ever leave my roots if they came from Hawaii.”
“You’d be surprised at the number of my peers who dreamed of getting off the rock. There’s just something about knowing there’s all this world around you. I craved adventure, you know? And as much as I love my homeland, I felt limited, with everything I wanted to do.”
“Like dance.” He grinned.
“Yes, like dance. I would have never had the same opportunities in Hawaii.”
A Beyonce song started playing over the speakers, and Jake tugged me to the dance floor. Before that moment, I’d managed to keep my nerves at bay by sticking close to the wall where the exit door was. Surprisingly, the moment Jake pulled me to him, elation shot through my chest.
Not because of him, but because I’d actually done it—I was on the main top deck of the ship, with the ocean just a glance away. As long as we stayed near the center of the ship, I would be okay.
Jake spun me and pulled me back to him with a grin. “So, rumor is you said no to the part. If that’s true, I’m glad you decided to take it in the end.”
I searched his eyes, wondering how much I could tell him without causing the gossip mill to go wild. That was another thing I’d heard about ship life: news spread like wildfire among the two thousand crew members. And I believed it. With such close quarters and nowhere else to go, personalities were sure to butt heads and cause friction. That was only natural. I just hoped I never found myself on the wrong side of the conversation.
“I’m glad I said yes too. I never thought I’d find myself living on a cruise ship.”
Jake grinned. “It’s the coolest. This will be my third cruise season, and to be honest, I’m not sure where to go when I’m done. I’m so used to the ship life, the travel, the culture, the crew. Then again, I’ve never been great at staying still.”
I tilted my head and peered up at him curiously. “Really? But you loved New York, right? That’s where I’d like to go eventually.”
“You’ve been bitten by the theater bug, eh?”
I laughed. “I guess so. Hopefully, this opportunity gives me a nudge in the right direction.”
“It will. Being a dancer, you’re no stranger to the long hours and athleticism it takes to keep any job. Living on a cruise ship will almost make you feel like you’re working twenty-four seven. The discipline we have is totally overlooked. But from what I can see, you have what it takes.” He winked then twirled me again, causing me to laugh.
As much as I was enjoying my time with him, I couldn’t stop looking at the man chatting it up with Sophie at the bar. They both wore smiles on their faces and flirtation in their body language. Jealousy reared its ugly head inside me, heating my chest and prickling my skin.
Sebastian looked just like he had the day we met, his leather jacket strapped to his shoulders, dark jeans wrapped tightly around muscular legs, and blue eyes so piercing I could have sworn they were trying to stab me from across the deck… because at some point, his gaze slipped from Sophie’s to mine.
I gasped and turned my attention back on Jake. “I could use a drink,” I told him over the music.
He nodded, tugged me to him, and wrapped an arm around my shoulders before leading me to the bar. I was grateful he pulled me to the opposite end from where Sebastian and Sophie were sitting. The last thing anyone needed was another ridiculous word-jousting match.