She shrugged. “I’m a dancer. I’m sure it’s the same for you and music.”
“It’s more than just music to me. It’s the only way I’ve ever known how to express myself—to tell a story.”
“Well, you tell them beautifully.” Her eyes darted to mine. “Is it okay if I asked what inspired Angst and Grace?”
I swallowed, wondering just how honest I wanted to be with her. Really, I had no reason to lie, but the truth made me feel incredibly exposed.
“I started writing the songs for Angst & Grace when I was eighteen, so I can’t say much of it was based off real life. It was all more of a dream, really?”
“And who are you in this dream? The bad boy or the hero?”
“That’s for me to know and for you to interpret—like any good art piece. I leave my music up to your imagination.”
She chuckled. “You want to know what I think?”
I nodded though I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to know. “Sure.” I placed my palms on the floor behind me and leaned into them.
“I think you’re both—the bad boy, the good guy. And there’s no telling what we’re going to get from one day to the next. But what about the women? Were they part of that dream too? Or was she a reality?”
My lips curled at the sides. “She was a dream who I thought I’d found once, but I was wrong.”
Kai scanned my expression with curiosity. I was telling her too much.
“How so?” She pulled her legs together, knees still locked, and rolled her upper body forward until her fingers were touching her toes.
I watched her face dip between her knees as her long arms stretched in front of her. “Grace represents any man’s ideal woman. She also represents a time in a man’s life when he thinks he knows what he wants, versus knowing what’s truly good for him. In Angst & Grace, there is no perfect character. It’s all just a dream world.”
Her mouth fell open. “Is that written into any of the songs? The fact that it’s all just a dream?”
I grinned and shook my head, then I winked. “It’s our secret now.”
She fell back, clutching her heart. “Oh, I wish I hadn’t asked.” Then she picked herself back up again and slapped me on the arm. “You’re an imposter in the world of romance. And now I have to carry around your secret like an accomplice.”
I chuckled. “Don’t feel too bad, love. Aren’t all the great love stories fiction, anyway?”
She scoffed. “Now you sound like a cynic. And no, not all love stories are fiction.”
“Can you prove me wrong?”
She straightened and nodded emphatically. “Yes. Have you ever seen The Vow? Or The Theory of Everything or A Beautiful Mind? All great love stories. All real. Or… based on true events.”
I ignored the obvious retort and played along. “But is love the general conflict in those stories? Could you truly call those romance movies?”
Her jaw dropped. “I-I don’t know, but that’s not the point. True love exists in books and movies and in real life. Why do you think people read romance, anyway? We read romance because we believe in a love we all deserve to have. A love that endures life’s greatest tests. A love that spans centuries and galaxies and ripples in time.”
She was going on and on, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “I don’t know, Kai. I’m still not convinced.”
She huffed, and I bent my knees to plant my feet and stand. “All right, enough of the diversion tactics. Let’s run.”
She scrambled to her feet to join me. “Actually, I was thinking we could lift a little first. What do you want to do? Arms, legs, back…?”
“Wait a sec—”
“I’m not ready yet,” she cut in, her eyes finding mine in a desperate panic. “Just work out with me, okay?”
“What about Jake?”
She looked away. “I already canceled on him last night.” She lifted her shoulders and slapped her hands against her sides. “I’m all yours, but I’m not going out there. Not yet.”
There she went again, twisting that stick in my chest and lighting another damn fire. Instead of arguing with her again, I said, “Legs.” I pointed at the angled-leg-press machine outside the studio. “How much can you lift?”
She made a face. “I don’t know. It’s been a long time since I used any weight machines. Lately, it’s been Pilates and free weights.”
I nodded. “Let’s start with one fifty and see how you do.”
After getting her seat adjusted and letting her sample her weight, we decided to add on another hundred pounds, which was still comfortable, and she started to press. After two sets, I adjusted the weights, and we switched spots. This time, she was the one watching me, her curious eyes running the length of me as I braced for the strength I’d need. Maxing out my weight when she was standing over me probably hadn’t been a smart idea. She was a distraction in every sense of the word.
“Since you brought up Angst and Grace, I was curious,” she started with a tentative smile. “How did you and Dirk come to partner?”
I adjusted my eyes away and stared at the wall straight ahead. “It’s a long, boring story.”
“We have time,” she said, stepping forward with a smile I could see in my periphery. “I promise I won’t be bored.”
I shook my head. “Not happening.” My reaction was an instant attempt to block the pending conversation. “If you can’t tell, I don’t like talking about the guy.” We didn’t need to go back there. Going back there only opened up the possibility of me telling her what had really happened between my Claudette and Dirk and me, and part of me would rather she believe the lie. It would be easier if she thought she should hate me.
“Why do you do that? Shut me down when I ask a question you don’t like?”
I turned my attention to the weights, took a deep breath, and focused on my first push instead of her words. But when I finished, I knew I couldn’t just leave her hanging. The last time I did that, we didn’t speak for a month.
“Dirk sought me out through my record label. I was just a kid. Young twenties. Thought I was the shit after taking home my first Grammy from the release of my debut album. The music industry is a lot smaller than you think, and when Dirk learned I had all these original songs and a dream to go Broadway, he buddied up to me, convinced me I could trust him, and then we became partners.”
I started my next set feeling slightly liberated for opening up to Kai. I never talked about Dirk anymore, not even the good times early on in our partnership. Looking back, I realized how big of a fool I’d been for trusting him.
“But why Broadway? You could have written another award-winning record. What was it about the stage that made you give that up?”
I eased back on my last push until the weights were locked in resting position, then I looked into Kai’s light-brown eyes, practically glowing against the sky’s backlight. “I grew up loving the theater. My parents and I moved from Australia to New York when I was twelve, and the theater became our second home. You know when you go to a concert and the crowd is screaming and singing along during the entire damn set?”