“I panicked—” I start to say, but he cuts me off.
“Because you fucked up. And now I have to clean up your mess and make sure you stay out of trouble.”
“Is that what this is? You doing me a favor?” I ask sarcastically, letting the memory of that night fade. I can’t quit while there’s still an investigation. I can’t bring more attention to myself or to the company. One of my clients dies and I get fired or quit shortly after? Yeah, that’ll get the police’s attention.
I wish I could tell Kat everything, but then she’d know she was married to a murderer. Even if it was just an accident. I’m a coward and I’ll never be a man she deserves. But every day that goes by, I want to be more of the man I was the day before it all changed.
“I need time off,” I state, fed up with the conversation. I imagine this isn’t the first time something like this has happened and I sift through the memories of all the shit that’s gone on behind the scenes for years. I never questioned anything, I never suspected a thing. Not until James brought me into the inner circle.
“No,” James answers immediately with no negotiation in his voice.
“Then I quit,” I tell him as my fingers dig into the chair. The only thing I can think about is Kat. She’ll get over the fact I kept this from her. I know she will. It’s not the first time I’ve kept a secret from her. We’ll be okay as long as I’m through with this shit.
His thin lips twist into a half smile as he says, “Well, that can’t happen.” He looks at me with a calculated glint in his eyes. Like he’s been waiting for this and he’s ready for my rebuttal, eager for it even.
“Why not?” I question as my muscles coil. Even though I’m aware it could cause suspicion, I can do whatever the fuck I want. “I’m not going to work for this company anymore.”
“That’s not—”
“It’s called quitting,” I spit back at him. I don’t need this job; I’ve got plenty of money in the bank and my investments, and Kat’s career is finally stable. She bled money for years, but it’s leveling out. We’ll be all right financially and this is what she wants and what I need.
“You can’t just quit.”
“I can, and I am.”
James’s smile fades and he tilts his head to the side, an expression of the utmost sympathy on his weathered face. His deep brown eyes look darker as he picks up a folder on the left side of his desk. It wasn’t hidden, but it’s not labeled and it looks like all the rest.
My eyes follow his movement and my brow furrows until he opens it.
“The hotel had cameras. They’re gone now, of course, but a few snapshots were taken. Some I think you’d find particularly interesting. Maybe enough so to stay.”
I can imagine what they are before he flips the folder open. The eight-by-ten glossy photo paper shows the one thing that proves I lied. I’m walking into the hotel lobby I claimed I didn’t enter. And I’m not alone. Standing right next to me is Tony. Only hours before he was found dead in the rec room of the hotel. The one reserved for our company and the division Bruce is the head of. The photograph of Tony and his bloodshot eyes takes me back to that night. To the moment I found him dead on the floor.
My limbs freeze in waves. Like the betrayal that moves through me.
“It’s a security net on my end,” James says and then closes the folder, pulling it off the desk and into his lap.
“So if I quit,” I start to say, but instead I stop and stare ahead out of the window. I want to kill him. There’s never been a time in my life when I’ve desired someone dead. But right now, it’s all I want.
“Then I assume it’s for less than moral reasons,” James says, spelling it out for me. “I need to protect myself.”
“That’s bullshit,” I tell him and my words are hard. My hands turn to fists as they tremble with the need to get this anger out.
“I know, trust me I know,” James says. “And I don’t like this any more than you do.”
A sarcastic huff of a laugh leaves me. “Fuck off,” I sneer at him.
I stand up from the office chair so quickly it nearly falls over. I grip it so tight I think I’ll break it. Fuck, I want to break it. I can picture beating the piss out of him with the broken wood.
My body is hot, my mind in a daze of regret and sickness.
“I’m leaving,” I barely speak as I turn my back to him and start to walk off.
“The fuck you are,” he says.
My body whips around, tense and ready to let it all out. Every day it’s been building and building, the tension winding tighter and the need to destroy something climbing higher and higher. I only took a few steps away, and with his words I’m right back across the desk, ready to do something stupid.
My body heats as my fist moves from the chair to the desk and I lean closer. He may not want to show it, but I see the fear in his eyes.
He should be scared. He’s fucking with me. Threatening me. No one is going to take my wife from me. I won’t allow it.
“I need to get away from this. From you.”
I never should have listened to him and try to cover it up. He set me up. He used that night to his advantage and I played right into his hand.
It takes everything in me not to reach across the desk and haul him up by his collar. To fist the fine cloth in my grip and spit in his face.
Pure rage and adrenaline pump through my blood.
“Careful now, Evan.” James smiles as he says it, but I notice how he leans back. Both of us know he’s scared. If I throw this punch, if I push, he could bring it all to light.
And then I’ll lose her forever.
“I’m going home, and I’ll let you know when I’m available again.” Never. The word is whispered in the back of my head. I’m never returning to this office. I’m never doing another thing for this prick.
“You can’t leave me. I’ll ruin you,” he practically whispers with nothing but hate. He says the words I already know.
“Ruin me then,” I respond easily, looking into his dark eyes as I turn the doorknob and leave him behind me. On the surface I’m calm, but brewing just beneath my skin is nothing but chaos. Everything I’ve feared has finally come.
Proof I was there.
Proof I lied to the police.
I leave the office with the threat echoing in my head. I did this to myself, digging the hole deeper and deeper.
There’s no way Kat will stay when it all goes down.
Kat
Never trapped, never alone,
This city never sleeps.
Even in the daylight,
The sins are left to creep.
They tempt me and pull me,
And make me feel alive.
My mouth is dry, my body hot.
In temptation regrets will thrive.
My iPhone lights up as I push the top button to check the time again, and then again to look at the date. I’m anxious for this meeting; unusually so. Then again, I’m anxious all the time now.
Evan hasn’t come home; he isn’t talking to me. It’s been four days and each day I feel like I need to cave more and more. I didn’t know how much I wanted him there until he was gone. I just need him back.