I cleared my throat to hide the emotion that simmered just below the surface, thinking about Griffin and what he’d done for Declan. “Declan was just showing me all of his Legos and the plane.”
“He loves Legos. He’ll talk your ear off if you let him.”
I smiled. “I don’t mind.”
Griffin studied me as if gauging the veracity of my statement.
“I like hearing about it.” I shifted on my feet, positive Griffin could see everything there was to know about me.
“Dinner’s ready if you want to come down.” Griffin addressed both of us, his gaze steady on mine.
Declan ran past us.
“Thank you for humoring him. He’s never had a mother figure in his life. I’m sure he misses his dad.” His voice was filled with gratitude and admiration.
“Of course.” My heart ached for Declan, his mother abandoned him, and his father died. He’d gone through so much at a young age.
I tore my gaze from his as I walked past him, when Griffin’s hand settled on my shoulder, the warmth of his fingers seeping into my skin, stopping my movement. I looked into his blue eyes while his thumb moved back and forth as if he was soothing me. It was hypnotizing.
“Thank you.”
I smiled, the movement forced. “I did what anyone would do.” The lie hung in the air between us.
“You know that’s not true.”
A tingle of awareness ran down my spine.
“Don’t hide from me.”
I wanted to argue with him but I couldn’t. I had no business getting in deeper with these two. They needed someone who could understand what they were going through. I’d never experienced any kind of loss. How would I feel if something happened to my parents? “I don’t know how to do this.”
“Be here. Be yourself. Do exactly what you were doing with Declan before I came up here, making you retreat.”
“What if being myself isn’t the right thing? What if I don’t even know who I am?” The question I didn’t ask was what if there’s nothing underneath my outer shell. I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m saying.”
“I won’t hurt you. You can be yourself with me.” His voice was so gentle, so soothing, I swayed on my feet toward him.
He squeezed my shoulder before taking a step back, releasing me. Clearing his throat, he said, “I’d better supervise or he’ll eat everything I made for dinner.”
I smiled, my lips felt brittle. I thought he might wrap his arms around me, hug me. The old longing for physical touch—the one I’d felt as a child wanting my mother’s hug was back stronger than ever.
He turned to leave without another word.
It felt as if he dismissed me, as if he didn’t want me, or maybe I was too sensitive. I took a second to gather the pieces of myself that had spun away during that conversation. Every moment we spent together, he dug deeper, he demanded more of me.
Chapter Nine
Griffin
I sent Declan to wash his hands before pulling the chicken and potatoes out of the oven where they’d been warming, I thought about the look on Avery’s face when I stepped back from her a minute ago. Her expression was raw, a mixture of yearning, longing, and desire. I could easily have pulled her into my arms, comforting her, but I didn’t.
I freaked out at the last second, thinking I needed to be careful because of Lorelai, but she was nothing like her. I was touched Avery was so patient with Declan, listening to him ramble on about his Lego creations. She wasn’t being polite, she was genuinely interested.
I wanted her to trust me. I wanted her to talk to me. I ran my fingers through my hair. What was I doing? Declan didn’t need someone in his life who could bolt at any minute. He had enough of that with his mother, and through no fault of his own, his father. He needed something sure and steady. He had me and my parents. That would have to be enough for now.
I had to be careful with anyone I brought around Declan. I brought Avery here to get to know her better, to stop her from retreating from us, but doubts and insecurities crept in. How would I ever fully trust a woman again after what happened with Lorelai?
Even though we’d been together for so long, I hadn’t known her at all. I didn’t know she was capable of cheating on me with a friend. How do I know that Avery was being honest with her feelings? I thought I could read her but was I projecting things on her that weren’t true? In the end, would she protect herself before letting anyone else in?
“Do you need help?” Avery’s voice startled me.
I recovered quickly, gesturing at the place settings on the island. “You can set the table if you want.”
I couldn’t look at her. I couldn’t let her see what I was feeling. That I’d been confident when I invited her here, but now I doubted everything. Her ability to remain loyal to us. My ability to love again.
“Okay.” She set each place carefully as if thinking of something she wanted to say. “I’m sorry if me coming here is awkward. I’m not good at this.”
Her tone was so vulnerable, I couldn’t resist going to her. Checking to make sure Declan was still in the bathroom washing his hands, I closed the distance between us, removing the plate from her hand, placing it on the table. I touched her shoulders, shifting her to face me.
“Thank you for coming. I want you here.”
Her eyes were filled with uncertainty. “You’re welcome.”
Lowering my voice, I said, “I’m going to do what I should have done upstairs.”
I pulled her into my arms, tucking her into me, her curves against me felt right. She was stiff until her arms came around me. The moment she gave in, her muscles loosened and she let out a long slow breath. I closed my eyes, rubbing my hand up and down her back, sighing as she sank further into me. She was starved for affection. I wanted to be the one who gave her what she needed. I kissed her temple, enjoying the feel of her in my arms, her warmth, her soft curves, her.
“Thank you,” she mumbled into my chest.
“I’m starving.” Avery jumped back from me at the sound of Declan’s voice. Her face was soft, her eyes warm.
I’d need to move slowly with her, gain her trust. I couldn’t let my past dictate my moves because pulling back would hurt her. Avery had a tough exterior but underneath she was soft and warm-hearted. She was exactly what we needed.
“Yeah, buddy. It’s ready.” I rubbed my hand down her arm before plating the rosemary chicken, potatoes, and carrots.
Declan sat, immediately digging into his food.
“Can you wait for everyone to be seated before you start?” I asked Declan.
Declan paused. “Sorry.”
I turned to Avery. “Can I get you something to drink? A seltzer, beer, water?”
“A seltzer’s fine.” She placed a napkin on her lap.
I grabbed one from the fridge, pulling the tab, and filling a glass with ice, before setting them down in front of her.
When we were all seated, I nodded at Declan.
He dug back into his food.
“He said he was hungry,” Avery said, her voice filled with amusement.
“Boys are always hungry. I remember what it was like when Julian and I were growing up.”