Declan paused, his expression hesitant. “Could you tell me a story?”
“Sure. Let me think of a good one.” I took a few bites of food, swallowing before drinking water to wash it down. It was the first time Declan asked about his father when we were younger. I sifted through memories trying to find one that he’d find interesting. “We spent our summers exploring our property which had woods and a creek. We loved to trap bugs in jars, we tried to catch fish with our hands.”
Declan’s eyes were full of awe. “You didn’t have a fishing rod?”
“Not until we were older and my parents thought we were ready for one. Your grandfather gave in when we came home with a fish speared on a stick.”
Avery covered her mouth to hide her smile. “I can just imagine what his reaction was.”
“He was surprised, to say the least. We were relentless. We didn’t take no for an answer. If they said we couldn’t do it, we found a way to prove we could. Plus, we had all this time on our hands. We didn’t watch TV or play video games, we were outside all day long.”
“It sounds wonderful.” Avery had stopped eating, listening to me speak.
“It was.” The memory of Julian and me as kids hit me hard. Sometimes it was still hard to believe he was gone, that he wasn’t going to walk in the door, announcing his arrival in a loud, boisterous voice.
“May I be excused?” Declan asked.
I observed him for any sign of the pain I was feeling, but he seemed genuinely pleased with the story. “Sure, buddy. Remember to clear your dish.”
He nodded, taking his dish to the sink.
“What was your childhood like?” I asked when Declan headed to his room.
Hers was full of uncertainty. “My childhood was nothing like yours. Why do you want to know the details?”
“There’s something about you that pulls me, that makes me want to get to know you.”
She sighed, placing her fork down. “We didn’t live in a neighborhood, so I couldn’t walk to a friend’s house.”
“It must have been hard to make friends then.”
Avery smiled sadly. “It was. I was home alone a lot. When my parents were home, I’d ask for them to play a card game, a board game, something, but they were usually too tired or busy.”
As sad as her childhood sounded, I was happy she’d felt comfortable to tell me. “Did you have friends?”
“Not once I got to middle school. Kids can be mean.” She smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes.
I remembered how she reacted when I mentioned Julian had been bullied. I hoped she hadn’t experienced that. “Were they mean to you?”
I held my breath, hoping she’d answer this time.
“I blocked that time in my life out.” Her gaze fell to the table between us.
I didn’t think she had. “Did your parents do anything about it?”
“They told me if I ignored them they would stop.” She sipped her seltzer.
“Did they?” Did Avery ever get to the point where she stood up to them?
“No. It seemed to make it worse. I eventually ate lunch in the chorus room to escape the lunchroom dynamics.”
Unloved. She’d felt unloved by her parents and anyone who’d come into her life.
“Did you have grandparents or an aunt, someone else you could talk to?” I wanted to fill in the blanks in my head with her history, her reality. I wanted the pieces to her puzzle.
“No. We lived far away from extended family. It was just us.”
“The three of you. You and your parents.”
“I didn’t think they’d send me away like Mason, but I wasn’t sure. I stopped telling them about the bullying after a while.”
I can’t imagine worrying that my parents would send me away or how that would have changed our relationship if they had. Julian never told me about the bullying. It wasn’t until I witnessed him being thrown against a locker that I’d known. Would Avery admit what happened now that so many years had passed? Or did it still affect her? “What did the kids say to you?”
Her face turned red. “I’d rather not talk about it.”
“I’m sorry that happened to you. That your parents didn’t do anything to protect you.”
She waved me off. “It was just words.”
“Words can be more hurtful than a physical assault.”
She turned away as if gathering the courage to continue. When she turned back, her eyes were hard, bracing herself for my reaction. “When it was happening, I’d envision myself falling through the floor, disappearing. I know that doesn’t make any sense, but that’s what I did.”
“That makes sense. You wanted to be invisible, so they wouldn’t bother you.” Outwardly, I tried to appear calm and understanding, but inside, my muscles were tense, my stomach clenched. I hated that she went through that, that she ever felt like she was less than the amazing person she was.
She sighed. “Don’t feel sorry for me. Things got better, or maybe I stopped caring.”
Her words stuck in my head. I stopped caring.
I covered her hand with mine, hoping my touch soothed her, while it eased the tension in my body. “Kids are stupid. They don’t realize how they can hurt people. The ones who hurt others have low self-esteem. They’re the ones with a problem.”
“That’s what Hadley said.” Her gaze dropped to our joined hands.
“You told Hadley what happened?”
“I did, actually. Just recently. I never told anyone but my parents before that.” She pushed her empty plate away.
“Did it help?”
“I think so. It was nice to confide in a friend.”
“I’m not as open as I was, not since my ex betrayed me.”
She smiled. “We’re quite the pair.”
Should I tell her what I was thinking? That nothing she’d said changed my mind about her, it only made me want her more. “I’d like to be.”
“Like to be what?” She rose, carrying her dishes to the sink.
“A pair. You and me. I’d like to try.” I followed her to the sink, coming up behind her, to take the dishes from her hands, placing them into the sink.
She turned to face me.
I searched her eyes for any hint she wasn’t interested. All I saw was curiosity. “Will you go out with me? Not to a fundraiser or to an event. I’ll get a sitter and we can go out, just you and me.”
She was quiet for so long, I thought for sure she’d say no.
My heart thudded in my ears, every muscle in my body tensed waiting for her response.
“I’d love that,” she said softly.
My heart soared, lighter than it had been in a long time. “Good.”
I wanted to lean down and place a kiss on her lips, but I didn’t want Declan upstairs when I did it. I wanted it to just be her and me. Nothing to distract us.
After we were done cleaning up, I asked, “Would you like to stay and watch a movie?”
“I’d better not. I have court tomorrow morning. I need to review the file before I go to bed.” Her voice filled with regret.
“Always working.”
“I like working.”
“Are you planning to sightsee this weekend?” This was my opportunity to show her my hometown, spending time with her when it wasn’t a pressure-filled date.