She watches the snow fall outside. Her hand pressed to the glass in wonder like she’s never seen it before. I know that’s not true. But like me, I think she’s seeing things through new eyes. But while she’s staring at the falling white flakes like they’re the most magical thing, I’m looking at her.
I’m always looking at her.
With surprise.
With awe.
With love.
God, with so much love.
Last Christmas, she was in Paris with her friend. I was here alone. The two of us worlds apart for so many reasons.
The biggest, our age difference and falling in love with her as her guidance counselor and she my student.
I let her go for more reasons than that.
Mostly, to let her spread her wings.
I’m certainly not old, but I’ve lived. Dani deserved that chance and many more. I gave them to her because I knew if I didn’t she wouldn’t take them.
I hoped she’d come back to me and she did.
I wondered for a while if I’d lost her for good, and the thought crushed me, but I knew, even if she didn’t come back to me, if she fell for another guy, even her friend Ansel, that I’d done the right thing.
Right isn’t always easy. Sometimes it’s heartbreaking.
But in the end, things worked out.
She turns from the window with Tally, her cat, cradled in her arms. My dog Zeppelin stands at her side, always guarding and protective of her sweet and gentle soul.
The first time I saw her I’d never seen someone with such sadness, pain, and turmoil in their eyes. The tragedy she endured was weighing her down, burying her six feet under with fear and anxiety.
But my girl, she rose above it.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” A small laugh leaves her as she sets Tally down.
“Because I can.”
Because for so long I couldn’t look at her the way I wanted to.
Her smile is blinding as I cross the living room of my cottage I bought after moving out of the city. Stopping in front of her I let her make the first move.
She wraps her arms around me, hugging me, and if I’m not mistaken she sniffs my shirt. She must like the smell she finds because she lets out a contented sigh.
Tilting her head back, she smiles up at me. “I love you.”
I cup her cheeks in my hands. “Not as much as I love you.”
No one, not one single person on this planet, has ever loved someone as much as I love Dandelion Meadows.
“I beg to differ.”
I shake my head. “Trust me on this one.” Lowering my head, I cover her lips in a tender kiss. Her fingers tangle in my shirt, holding on tight. I smile against her mouth and step back. “What were you thinking? When you were looking out the window?”
She looks over her shoulder at the open front window at the snowy night. Back at me, she bites her lip to hide her growing smile. “I was thinking about how much I want to make snow angels but it’s probably kind of childish.”
I look out the window too. The thick flakes cover the grass, a good three inches already covering the ground, and if the weather report is correct there will be another six come morning.
“Things that make us happy shouldn’t be deemed childish. If you want to make snow angels we will.”
She bounces on the balls of her feet. “Really?”
I nod and she squeals, racing for her snow pants and jacket.
Dani still has her own apartment, but most of her things have found their way here, including her cat.
Slipping a pair of waterproof pants over my sweats, I grab my winter coat, racing out the door after her.
She squeals when my hands squeeze her waist, picking her up and swinging her around.
Settling against me, she wraps her arms around my neck. Her yellow scarf nearly obscures her smile, but I don’t miss it.
Before Dani, I didn’t know love could be like this.
So pure and consuming. She owns my whole heart. She’s my best friend. The first person I think about when I wake up and the last one when I go to bed.
“Put me down. I can’t make a snow angel in your arms.”
“We could try.”
She sticks her tongue out at me, a snowflake landing right on it. “Ooh.” She pulls her tongue into her mouth. “I didn’t mean to but I caught it.”
I have to laugh to myself, because I think the same thing about her. I didn’t mean to fall in love with her, but I did.
Kissing the end of her nose I set her down and she immediately falls backwards—a trust fall with the earth. It catches her in its embrace, the blanket of snow puffing around her. With a giggle she starts moving her arms and legs back and forth rapidly, making the most perfect snow angel I’ve ever seen.
Okay, so it’s a little wonky, but the only perfect snow angel I’ve ever actually seen is in a movie.
“Lachlan, get down here,” she commands. “Make one with me.”
Smiling, I can’t ignore her request. Without the same gusto, I get down on the ground—not trusting to break my fall quite so gently—and mimic her movements.
Turning my head to look at her, her face is dotted in red, green, purple, and blue from the colored lights I hung up at the beginning of the month. Dani stood in the yard giving directions and setting up the lit deer a few feet from where we are now.
“You really have to stop looking at me like that, Mr. Taylor.”
I suppress a chuckle. “What am I looking at you like?”
“Like…” She pauses, her nose crinkling in thought as she searches for the right explanation. “Like I’m the greatest thing you’ve ever set your eyes on. There are far greater wonders in this world.”
“Ah,” I breathe, “not to me.”
Are we being cheesy? Yes. But when you’ve been through what we have to get where we are now, you cherish your person, your relationship, every moment, and every hope for the future that much more.
“You’re such a sap.” She playfully punches my shoulder and looks up at the night sky.
I follow her gaze, looking at the stars peeking through the branches of the bare tree that fully shades my front yard in the summer.
“A sap,” I repeat with a chuckle. “You really shouldn’t have said that.”
While she was busy studying the stars, I managed to form several balls of snow.
Sitting up quickly I lob one at her, hitting the side of her cheek. She shrieks.
“Oh my God, Lachlan! That’s cold.”
She jumps up, quickly trying to pack snow into a ball, but I already have three more made and throw them at her in quick succession.
“Ah!” She screams, trying to avoid them. One lands its mark, right on her face, and her mouth drops in surprise. “Oh, it’s war now.”
From inside the house the sounds of Zeppelin barking echo as he runs back and forth between windows, trying to get a glimpse of us.
I run away from her, around the side of the house so I can try to make more, but she runs after me, carrying a snowball in each hand.
One collides with the center of my back, the other hits my bare neck. It’s cold as fuck, but I act like it’s not a big deal.
Sliding on the slick snow I fall to the ground. Dani screams when she trips over my body, falling over top of me.
We both start laughing and can’t seem to stop.