Considering I don’t live here anymore, maybe things have changed.
With the front door unlocked, I open the door and walk into my house to find…
It looks like Christmas threw up all over it.
Slowly shutting the door behind me, I lean against it for a moment, taking it all in. There’s a giant tree looming in front of me, its white lights twinkling in the semi-darkness of the room. I can smell the wintry fresh pine scent, and I take a deep breath, feeling nostalgic.
Ever since I can remember we got a fresh Christmas tree. Fake trees are beautiful too, and Mom has been known to scatter a few around the house, but nothing beats an actual tree you buy from the lot, or sometimes, we would go and cut it down in the woods. With a tree permit, of course.
My gaze wanders, settling on the river rock fireplace. The mantle is decorated with pine boughs and red ribbon, and all of our stockings neatly hang with care. There are extra ones, and I can only assume they’re for our significant others. My brother Jake has a girlfriend now. Hannah. And Ava found herself a boyfriend. Eli. I’m sure our mother bought them stockings so they wouldn’t feel left out. I can only imagine what that mantle will look like once we all get married and have children of our own.
Completely overloaded, I’m sure.
Mom goes overboard with Christmas every year, but I don’t mind. She embraces it with everything she’s got, and so do the rest of us. Not like we have a choice. The only one who turned grumpy over Christmas was Ava. Her freshman year, she started complaining about the commercialization of the holiday and how it has no significant meaning beyond retailers wanting our dollars. Ava had a point, but Mom didn’t want to hear it. In fact, Ava went on about it for so long, Mom told her she was going to get less gifts that Christmas. I didn’t believe Mom’s threat, because come on.
She lives for this shit.
But what do you know, Mom and Dad held true and Ava got a few less gifts than the rest of us that year. We knew. Trust me, when you have siblings, you count and compare the number of gifts you get every freaking Christmas.
After that year, Ava never complained again. She has now embraced the holiday season wholeheartedly.
As I walk through the living room, I can hear chatter going on in the kitchen, recognizing my mom’s and little sister’s voices. A feeling of such complete and utter content washes over me, making me grateful to be home after such a long drive.
I almost get choked up over it.
“Hello,” I call as I make my way toward the kitchen. It’s warm. It smells like something’s baking, and I know no candle can replicate that scent, though Ava has been trying to find the perfect sugar cookie candle since she was twelve.
“Autumn? Is that you?” Mom appears in the kitchen doorway, completely domesticated in her cheery red apron that’s currently covered with flour, her blonde hair pulled into a high ponytail. Her green eyes light up and she runs toward me, embracing me so hard a soft whimper escapes me.
She’s still really strong. And covering my sweatshirt in flour, I just know it.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” she croons by my ear before she delivers a noisy kiss to my cheek. “Now all my babies are home.”
None of her other babies have left the nest yet, except for me. I go to college at UC Santa Barbara, and it’s so beautiful. I love living there. But it’s also expensive. And while I’ve made friends and have had some great classes, sometimes I get lonely. There are about two hundred and forty miles between my boyfriend and I—it takes roughly four hours one way for one of us to visit the other.
Long distance relationships suck, but somehow, we make it work.
“Autumn.” Ava embraces me next, hugging me tight. “You made it.”
“The drive kind of sucked,” I say as I settle onto a nearby barstool. “Weather was bad. Traffic was worse.”
“Glad you came earlier in the week, honey.” Mom smiles before she walks over to the oven and takes a peek inside. “Traffic is only going to get worse the closer we get to Christmas. And the weather forecast is saying it could snow.”
“We’d have a white Christmas,” Ava adds, her eyes sparkling. “Won’t that be fun?”
“From the temperature my car said it was when I got here, I think it could snow tonight.” I go to the window that faces the backyard, watching the heavy rain fall. It’s becoming darker, and it’s not even four o’clock yet.
Winter is pretty gloomy. It’s definitely not my favorite season, though I do love Christmas.
“When is Ash coming over?” Mom asks as she turns off the oven and pulls out a baking dish. It’s a bread of some sort. I’m guessing pumpkin or cranberry. “He’ll be here for dinner, right?”
“Definitely,” I say with a nod. “He says he has a surprise for me.”
“Oh my God, maybe he’ll ask you to marry him,” Ava says excitedly.
I roll my eyes. “We’re too young.”
“Your father and I got married about that young,” Mom says as she goes to the sink and starts to wash her hands. “We were very young, but I knew.”
“You knew what?” I ask as I shrug out of my heavy sweatshirt and leave it draped over the barstool next to mine.
“That he was the one,” Mom says, shutting off the water. She sends Ava and I a look, one of those Mom things when we know we’re going to get a little lecture. “When it’s right, you know it. If it’s constant torture, or you just don’t care? That’s when you need to reassess.”
“Don’t you think we’re too young to be so…seriously involved?” I ask, wrinkling my nose. I hear it all the time from my friends at college. They can’t believe I’m still with my high school boyfriend. And worse? That he doesn’t even live there. They’re shocked I can wander the campus and not be tempted by one cute boy who passes by.
Look, I can admit there are a lot of cute guys on campus. Some are downright gorgeous. I’ve had a few flirt with me. I’ve had a few try and get my number or ask me out on a date. But I always politely decline.
But I’m not even tempted. I have a boyfriend who I’m madly in love with.
“How can I complain?” Mom says with a little shrug. “Every one of my children is with a person who treats them like gold. That’s all I could ever ask for.”
“Awww,” Ava and I say in unison, just before we crack up.
“Oh stop, it’s true.” Mom glares at us for a moment before she starts laughing as well. “I’d kick Ash and Eli’s asses if I ever heard they were treating either of you badly. And I’d cut off all of Hannah’s glorious red hair when she was sleeping if she ever did Jake wrong.”
“Damn, Mom, fierce,” I say as Ava makes an “oooh” sound.
Mom laughs. “I’m kidding.” She pauses. “Sort of.”
Not really, is what I want to say to her, but I keep quiet. Because she probably totally means it.
We chat some more and eventually our little brother Beck comes downstairs, asking Mom when are we going to eat dinner. He’s growing so fast, getting taller and taller, but he doesn’t have to gain too many inches to bypass my height. I’m the shrimp of the family, just like Mom.