My shoulders sag, and I exhale heavily, then sniff myself. “I need to shower and get dressed. Should I tell him at the start of his shift?”
Zane arches a brow. “Didn’t you say you had an interview to do as well? I’m guessing Candi will be there, then you have the event, then the concert.”
I drag a hand down my face. “You two are geniuses, and I love you and hate you.”
Because there is a way to tell someone you love him, and I’m going to do this right.
34
Jackson
My phone flashes with a text message as I practice my Spanish.
My heart jumps in the hope that it’s Stone.
But when I click over to my app, it’s my sister.
I’m happy to hear from her. I’m happy to hear from her. I’m happy to hear from her.
Bethany: So, tell me stuff. How is everything going? Is there going to be a Jackstone any day soon?
Jackson: I don’t think so.
Three seconds later, my phone rings.
I answer it, and Bethany launches at me. “What happened?”
I heave a sigh. “I ended it.”
An epic wail across the halls of time pierces my eardrums. “Why?”
“Because I work for him.”
“Ugh. You make me crazy.”
“Bethany, this is the real world,” I say, frustration coloring my tone. It’s been less than twenty-four hours since I put the brakes on things, and I don’t feel an ounce better. But soon I will. I have to. “I have to earn a living. But more than that, what happens next? Do you think I’ll ever get another job again? This is the worst line I can cross in my profession. It’s the golden rule—never ever fall for your client. And I did it. And this could haunt me for the rest of my life.”
She sighs in the way only a teenager can—egregiously. “Jackson, you lost your partner. The man you love died. He died.”
“I know that,” I bite out. “What does Fabian have to do with Stone?”
“You were devastated,” she soldiers on. “You were broken, and that man didn’t even respect your wishes. And now, you’re not devastated. You’re not miserable. You’re the opposite. Stone makes you happy. Ridiculously happy. Happier than you’ve ever been with anyone. And you’re going to throw it away because of a rule?”
“It’s kind of an important rule,” I say with a huff, even though my heart is slamming against my rib cage—because I am happy with Stone.
Was.
I was happy.
But I’ll be happy again.
“Love is an important rule,” she says. “Love is the most important rule of all—love, just love. Do you love him?”
I squeeze my eyes shut as a sharp pang rips through me. “Yes. So much.”
Her voice trembles. “Then find a way, Jackson. That is what you’ll regret more than not taking a chance.”
“How are you so wise about love?”
“Easy. Music. I’m in Rent right now. It’s all about living without regret.”
I don’t know if she is right.
I don’t know if I’m wrong.
All I know is—I miss him more than I ever imagined.
A little later, Cruz works out with me, and when we finish, we grab a bite to eat at our favorite diner.
As we’re waiting for our lunch, he sets his phone on the table, opens the camera roll, and shows me a picture of his daughter. She’s riding a bike, and she’s utterly adorable.
“She’s so damn cute,” I say.
He nods, but his brown eyes are wet. Like he’s on the cusp of tears.
“You okay, man?”
He shakes his head. “I missed it—her riding a bike for the first time. That’s the problem. I keep missing all of these milestones.”
“That must be hard for you,” I say with a sigh.
He swipes his hand across his cheek. “I can’t take being on the road much longer.”
“Terrence was saying the same thing.”
“This job, it’s for younger men than me. I want to be back home in Los Angeles.”
“So does Terrence,” I say, and the second I say those words, a light bulb goes on above my head. It flashes bright and brilliant. It’s studio wattage. It’s all the lights in a TV station. It’s the entire electrical grid of Las Vegas.
I beam. “I know what to do,” I say, practically giddy.
“About you and Stone?”
“Yes. No. Mostly I mean about everything.”
“You mean the million issues?” he asks with a laugh.
“Yes. The million issues.” I laugh too because, holy hell, I’ve got it. I can see a way through.
I can see it because all the reasons come down to one reason— you don’t let a second chance at love pass you by.
And not just any love.
But big love.
Epic love.
Love that touches your mind, body, and heart.
Love with someone you trust.
Someone who trusts you.
Who adores you.
Who you adore in return.
I adore that man.
Emotion grips my throat as I replay all the nights I’ve spent with him, including the last one, and the things we said under the covers.
I should never have doubted how Stone feels.
He wears his heart on his sleeve.
He lets his feelings show.
He feels the same way I do.
The way we are together is all the proof I’ll ever need.
I’m no more a hookup to him than he is to me. We’ve never been a hookup. We’ve always been real.
Every day, every night, every morning.
All of it has been happening to both of us. All this falling, all this feeling.
We’re in it. All the way.
But there’s only one of us who can make the decision. The choice—that’s in my power.
And I’m going to do it.
35
Stone
I don’t tell him at the start of his shift, because we aren’t alone.
I don’t tell him at the charity event, because I have to shake hands with everyone, smile for the cameras, and make a speech.
I don’t tell him when we arrive at the theater, because my whole entourage is there.
When I reach my dressing room, all I want is to grab him, tug him inside, and tell him he owns my heart.
But when we arrive at the door and I motion for him to come in, adding a please, he shakes his head.
My heart plummets twenty floors—then slingshots back up when he shoots me a smile as he hands me back my phone. He’s had it for the last few hours, keeping it safe.
“Jackson,” I say, desperate and excited all at once.
His voice is firm. “Read my email.” He presses the phone tightly into my hand, curling my fingers around it then squeezing his hand over mine.
Sparks tear through me.
He runs his thumb over my hand, and it’s a miracle I don’t grab him and kiss him right now.
But this is a time for words. He wants me to read whatever he’s sent to me.