His dry sense of humor, his eager mind, his laughter.
The way he knows me. How he pokes fun at me. How he looks out for me. How he lets me be me.
And this is officially not relaxing at all.
Meditation, I hereby pronounce you awful too.
I flop on the couch and read some news stories, but the words swim before me on the screen.
I can’t focus. I can’t think. I can’t do a single thing but mope.
When Becca raps on the door a few minutes later, I open it half-heartedly. She gives me a quick once-over.
I must look like hell, because the normally unflappable, cool, and professional Becca arches a worried brow. “Are you okay?”
This woman has seen me after late nights spent partying. She’s seen me after groupies have left with satisfied grins.
She’s seen me when I’ve been exhausted.
But she’s never looked at me like this.
“Define ‘okay,’” I say, my voice flat and dead.
As she walks inside with my quinoa bowl, she says, “You’re not okay, then. That’s clear.”
She sets my breakfast on the table then puts a hand on my shoulder. “Is there anything I can get for you?”
I tap my chest. “A new heart would be good. One that doesn’t hurt. Do you have that on the menu?”
She frowns. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
I drop my head in my hands. “Me too.”
A little later, Nadia and Zane rap on the door. I let them in, then return to the couch that has a Stone-shaped indent on it. Nadia taps her wrist, pointing to a watch she doesn’t wear. “It’s nearly two. We have a charity event this evening. The final one before your last show.”
I heave a sigh. “I know. Don’t worry. I’ll be there.”
“We’re getting you out of your room now though,” my brother says.
“Why do I have to get out of my room?”
Nadia whirls around, gesturing to my suite. “Because. This room has negative vibes for you. It’s the scene of all the crimes.”
“Guys,” I say. But I don’t even know what I’m protesting. I curl up into the cushions. “Maybe I’ll write a song about this couch.”
“You’ll do no such thing,” Nadia tuts.
“We’re taking you to an arcade. Someplace to get your mind off him,” Zane declares.
I muster a sliver of a smile. “I like pinball.”
They drag me to an arcade. Terrence waits by the door.
I play some games, besting my brother on an AC/DC pinball machine, then Nadia defeats both of us in the Raiders of the Lost Ark one. After that, we go to grab some snacks, but there’s nothing on the menu that appeals to me, so I snag a water and nurse that half-heartedly.
Nadia stares at me with inquisitive eyes. “So, you broke up, obviously.”
“Yes,” I say, nothing but misery in my tone.
“Why?”
I roll my eyes. “Isn’t it obvious? He works for me. He’s my employee.”
Zane furrows his brow. “Right, but other people who have worked together have gotten involved, like, in the history of time, right?”
I stare at the smart-ass. “Yes, but that’s not what’s going to happen here. He has a code. A code of honor.”
Zane nods a few times, like he’s thinking this through. “Fine. But isn’t there a way around it? A way to deal with it?”
I toss up my hands in frustration. “Don’t ask me. My life is easy. His isn’t. He has debt and bills and shit like that. And he can’t be the man he wants to be if he’s working for me and is with me at the same time.”
“Why not?” Zane presses.
“Because it’s his code. I respect it.” I do. Truly, I do.
Nadia drums her fingernails on the table. “Fair enough. But does he at least know how you feel? Does he at least understand that this isn’t a normal boss-falls-for-his-employee situation? Or rock-star-falls-for-his-bodyguard situation?”
My brow knits. “What do you mean,”—I sketch air quotes—“‘normal’?”
She makes a rolling gesture with her hand. “Did you tell him this isn’t a simple workplace affair? That this is much more than an office romance? I mean, it is, isn’t it, Stone?”
“Yes, this is much more than that.” I go full deadpan. “Who woulda thought? I fell in love for the first time in my life.” I mime tossing out a fishing line. “Hook, line, and sinker.”
Nadia grins. Zane grins wickedly.
“Look at you. So in love,” Nadia says, like a cat feasting on a mouse.
“I always knew this day would come.” Zane crosses his arms, delight in his eyes.
“Thanks. Want to kick me while I’m down?”
Zane cocks his head to the side, then adopts a more serious expression. “Love seems like a good thing.”
“Did you not get the memo that he dumped me?”
My brother waves, like that’s no big deal. “Does he know that you’re in love with him?”
“Yes, did you tell him how you really feel?” Nadia choruses.
I scratch my jaw, flashing back to yesterday.
Did I? How could I not have said it? “I mean, sure. I’m sure I did,” I say, but I choke on my words because as soon as they come out, the gong rings and I realize—“I didn’t say a word. I simply said, ‘You’re right. We should end this. We always planned to.’”
Zane scoffs. “Brilliant move.”
Nadia pats my hand.
I groan, gripping my forehead. “I let him walk out the door. I let him get on the plane. I let him ride off into the sunset without telling him he’s the love of my life.” I raise my face. “What the hell is wrong with me?”
“Hmm. How much time do you have?” Zane asks.
“Seriously, guys. Do you really think that’ll change things? If I tell him?”
“Well, it can’t make it worse,” Nadia says.
“How can you expect the man to make a hard choice unless he has all the facts?” Zane puts in. “I couldn’t make the choice to leave Dad and his business until I had all the facts in front of me.”
Nadia reaches for my arm, squeezing. “Maybe he didn’t want to sneak around. Maybe he wants to be your boyfriend, but he feels like your sidepiece. Maybe he feels like your mistress. What if he doesn’t know that he’s the love of your life?” Her voice breaks on the question, and her eyes swim with tears. “You idiot. Do you know how lucky you are? Do you know how rare it is to meet the love of your life? Tell him. Then at least he’ll have all the facts to make the choice.”
I spring to my feet, energy propelling me. “You’re right. I need to find him and tell him.”
I fish for my phone in my pocket, but when I try to call him, he doesn’t answer.
“Dammit,” I curse.
Nadia holds up a hand. “Maybe this is a good thing.”
I stab the table with my finger. “How? I just figured out where I fucked up. I need to fix it stat.”
She rolls her eyes. “Stone. You literally just decided to tell him you love him. Let’s make sure you tell him in the right way at the right time.” She taps her wrist. “Because you have a charity event and then a concert.”