I race to the door, desperate for a little air, but equally hoping that my parents stay put in the living room. I might not be all that happy about Zayn pushing his way into my life—my home—but it’s somewhat bearable while they’re hiding.
Austin and Sofia’s faces light up as I carry the pizza boxes into the kitchen. The scent of the tomato sauce and melted cheese making my stomach growl even louder.
“When was the last time you ate?” Zayn asks with a laugh when he hears it over the kids’ excited chatter.
“Er…”
“Shit, don’t answer that.”
I nod, lowering my head so I don’t have to meet his eyes. He’s already learning too much without being able to read my thoughts like I know he’s able to.
I sit back and allow the kids to take their fill before I even reach for a slice. It’s the way it always is—the way it has to be.
“Come on, I ordered plenty,” Zayn encourages as he continues to bounce Cooper gently now he’s back in his seat with a full belly.
“I know, I just…”
“Eat, Poppy. You need to look after yourself as well as these three for once.”
I do as I’m told, mainly because I don’t want to start an argument in front of Austin and Sofia, but also because I can hardly deny that he’s right.
I just about manage to keep my growl of appreciation down as I take my first bite, although from the heated stare I feel from beside me, I get the idea he’s aware of my reaction.
“Good, right?”
“So good,” I mumble around my mouthful.
Zayn keeps Austin and Sofia entertained throughout dinner like a pro. It makes me wonder what experience he has with kids, it’s hardly from Harley seeing as there’s barely a year between them.
“Okay, you two need to get upstairs and get ready for bed.”
“Ohhh, but it’s still early.”
I smile at the two of them. “You have an hour to watch TV or play. But I expect you to both be in bed and ready for sleep in an hour.”
They roll their eyes at my bossiness but after rinsing off their plates they both do as they’re told.
“They’re good kids,” Zayn says as their footsteps get quieter.
“They really are. I’m going to take him to my parents,” I say, nodding at a sleeping Cooper before lifting him in his chair and walking from the room.
“You shouldn’t have to do all this,” he says again as I walk back into the kitchen with empty hands. Both Mom and Dad were awake, they watched me place their child in front of them although it doesn’t fill me with much hope.
I walk past where he’s still sitting at the table and come to a stop at the sink, blowing out a frustrated breath. I shouldn’t feel guilty about leaving Cooper with his parents, but I do. He should be their responsibility, not mine. But that’s not how things are in this house.
Pushing his chair out, he comes to join me at the sink to do the cleaning up.
“I know, but it is what it is.”
“What’s the real issue with your parents?”
My muscles tighten and he doesn’t miss it.
Putting his dishtowel down, he moves to stand behind me. His fingers brush against my shoulders and he pushes down into my bunched muscles.
“Oh God,” I moan, my arms falling limp at my sides as I immediately start to relax.
“Talk to me, Poppy,” he breathes in my ear, sending goose bumps racing across my skin.
“Dad hurt his back at work years ago, says it’s too bad to do anything other than drink himself into a coma, apparently. Mom… I don’t really know. She had postnatal depression with both Austin and Sofia but managed to beat it. Although she’s always been very up and down. Then she had Cooper and it’s like she’s just checked out. She knows there’s something wrong but she refuses to seek help, says we can’t afford it.”
“Fuck.”
I shrug. It’s my life, not much I can do about it.
“All this shouldn’t be on your shoulders.”
“What am I supposed to do about it? Go to social services and watch as we’re all taken away?”
“I…” He hesitates. “I don’t know.” His voice is sad and I hate that it’s because of me. I shouldn’t be dragging him, or anyone else, into this. It’s why I’ve kept everyone at arm’s length since Cooper was born, hell, I was doing it long before that, I just don’t think I’d realized it. “I could talk to my mom. See if we can get yours some help.”
“She won’t accept it,” I say, full of confidence.
She refused when both Austin and Sofia were born and I have no reason to believe that she’ll be any different now. She’s fallen even deeper into her blackhole this time. I doubt she can even see the light.
“I’m so sorry, Poppy.”
His hands drop to my waist and he spins me around before stepping into my body.
“It’s not your fault.” The words are so quiet, I doubt he even hears them.
“No, but it still sucks.”
His eyes hold mine captive, rendering me useless.
“Tell me how to make it better.”
“You can’t, I—”
His fingers press against my lips. “I don’t mean everything. I’m not a miracle worker. I just mean right now. What do you need right now?”
My lips part. One single word dancing on the tip of my tongue, desperate to fall out but as scared as I am to admit it, I’m equally terrified of what will happen next.
Zayn’s already shown me just how good he is at making me forget. If any more were to happen, I’m not sure I’d be able to give it up again willingly.
“Say it,” he encourages. “I need to hear you say it.”
I bite down on the inside of my lips, fighting my need to jump into his with both feet and fuck the consequences.
“Y—”
He nods, a small smile twitching at his lips.
“You.”
I barely finish the word before his lips are on mine in a bruising kiss.
His hands drop to my thighs, gripping them, he lifts me into his body before lowering my ass to the counter. He pulls me right to the edge and wraps my legs around his waist as his tongue dances with mine.
His fingers twist in my hair, tilting my head to the side so he can explore more of my mouth as his hands drop down over my shoulders, brush over my breasts and come to a stop on my hips, pulling our bodies tighter together.
He grinds into me and I gasp, ripping our lips apart, as an intense sensation washes through me.
“You feel that?” he mumbles against the corner of my jaw.
“Y-yes,” I whisper when he does it again. The hard length of him is impossible to miss as it continues to drive me crazy.
“You do that to me, Poppy. Every fucking time I look at you.”
“Oh God,” I moan when he does it again, his fingers digging into my ass.
“You always have.”
“Zayn.” I want to tell him to stop, to stop using these lines to get what he wants, but his name falls from my lips as a plea instead.
“Forget it all, Poppy. Right now, none of that matters. This, this is all that matters.” He runs his tongue up the length of my neck and my entire body shudders in pleasure.