“It shouldn’t have been that way,” Trudy quietly murmurs. “We’re so ashamed for not lookin’ after you. Ashamed of what Emmett did… of how we allowed it all to happen.”
I swallow the lump in my throat and softly rasp, “How’d you find out about Dean?”
“Michael came to see me. The day he was leavin’.” Hank’s eyes are filled with regret. “I didn’t want to accept what he was tellin’ me, but I just had this feelin’ in my gut. I knew Dean was capable of real anger, but I never wanted to think he’d take it out on you.” His face bunched, and he mouthed an apology before finding his voice again. “Michael made me promise to take care of you. Somethin’ I should have been doin’ all along.”
“We did wrong by you, but it’s never too late to make things right.” Trudy’s smile is so hopeful. “You don’t have to leave.”
“Yes I do.” My response is immediate.
In spite of their kindness, I can’t stay in this place. I know it now, right down to my core. Jackson and I need a fresh start.
Gripping the envelope in my hand, I decide to accept it.
I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to do, but they sure look keen for me to take it, and we could use the money.
“Thank you.” I hold up the envelope. “This is real kind, and I appreciate it.” I look to the floor and whisper, “Mama would too.”
They both look down, and I can feel their shame.
“It’s all right.” I smile when they look up at me. “Really. This is…” I lose my voice, so I just hold up the envelope again and keep smiling so they know how much I mean it.
Hank looks relieved, and Trudy’s eyes well with more tears.
“You travel safe, now,” Hank says. “And if you ever need anything, you give your grandparents a call.”
Those words make me want to cry, but I manage to control myself somehow.
Smiling again, I squeeze the envelope and bob my head. “Take care.”
“You too, Annie.”
I stop in the doorway one more time to wave goodbye. It’s like putting a period at the end of a sentence somehow. This unfinished chapter in my life is finally closing, and it fills me with a sense of warmth and happiness.
As I step out of the house and head for the Bronco, I have a little bounce in my step.
I don’t know if I’ve ever walked this happy before.
I kinda like it.
51
The Girl You Bring Home
My shoulders tense as I grip the wheel and turn right down a road I used to know so well. The mailbox looks older, the name Barrett barely visible. I hold my breath as we bump down the long driveway and the only home I ever loved comes into view.
It’s a wreck, just like I thought it’d be.
Man, I was foolishly hoping for that sensation that ripped through me the first time I drove up here. That sense of wonder and hope that filled me until I thought I might burst. At first, I was too scared to believe it and spent months expecting it to end at any moment.
Parking by the front steps, I cut the engine and gaze up through the windshield.
The first time I saw this place, I was in awe.
To me, it was a castle made of wood, and we were in a faraway land filled with promise and adventure.
Leaning my arms against the wheel, I stay where I am, not sure I even want to open the door.
The silence in the car is so thick I can feel it.
Glancing to my right, I catch Annie’s eye and open my mouth to apologize, but she cuts me off before I can.
“Just needs a spruce up.” She winks at me, then turns back to Jackson. “You’re up for some hard work, right?”
He gives her a dubious frown, which only makes her laugh.
“You two!” She rolls her eyes and pops open the door. “Come on, I’m gonna go check out my new home.”
Sunshine leaves the car the second she jumps out of it, and I swivel around to face her younger brother.
“It’s pretty cool on the inside,” I murmur.
Jackson’s eyes bulge. “Let’s hope so.”
I snicker and get out of the car. Annie’s already on the porch, trying to look through the windows.
“Don’t s’ppose you have a spare key or somethin’, do ya?”
The stairs creek beneath my boots, and for a second I worry they’re going to give out on me. I glance up, spotting the cobwebs and layers of grime on the windows.
Man, it looks like this place hasn’t been touched since the night Grandpa died.
A shudder makes my spine twitch.
“You okay?” Annie gently touches my hand, saving me from the memories.
I bob my head, then tip it to the side. “There used to be a key around the back. By the kitchen door. Not that we ever locked up, but…” My voice trails off as memories swamp me.
Jackson jumps down first, vaulting the railing and racing around the side of the house.
Annie chuckles and glides her fingers between mine like she knows I need her to.
I hold on tight, assaulted by a million reminders of Grandpa. I see him in the fields on the back of his horse, yelling at Deeks and Brody to stop fooling around and get on with it.
“We’ll be out here all dang day if you two don’t finish up. I mean it! Get to work!”
His voice in my head makes me grin, takes the edge off the black pain that wants to swallow me whole.
Rushing Grandpa to the hospital through the rain. As much as I want to, I can never forget that night. I had blood on my hands, my shirt. Jake was in the back, yelling at me to hurry up, fear making his voice pitch and break.
Stopping around the back, by the kitchen door, I spot the underground cellar, locked up just the way we left it.
My throat thickens and it’s hard to swallow all of a sudden.
“So, where might that key be?” Annie gives my hand a shake to get my attention.
I blink down at her and force a smile.
Letting go of her hand, I walk behind Jackson and crouch down, feeling around under the back steps for the little box Cooper made. It was his first woodwork project, and Grandpa was so proud he gave it the honor of being the key keeper.
He’d placed one of the spare keys inside, and we’d practically had a ceremony where Cooper got to choose the hiding place.
My fingers brush the wood, my oldest brother’s face crystalizing in my mind. I wonder what he looks like now. Older? Wiser? Tougher?
Or is he broken?
Clenching my jaw, I pull out the box and slide it open. The key’s still inside, and I fight tears as I lift it out.
“Can I?” Jackson takes it off me, running up the steps and sliding it into the kitchen door.
It clicks open and I clench my jaw, wondering if I can actually do this.
Why am I back?
Why did I think this was a good idea?
“Wow!” Jackson’s voice snaps my head up. “This place is huge!”
Annie giggles and runs up the stairs to see what he’s talking about. I follow her, needing to keep her within sight. I can’t do this without her warmth, her smile. I need her light to guide me out of the darkness that’s trying to take over my mind.
Trailing my fingers over the dusty countertops, I stop for a minute in the kitchen. This was my place. My happy zone, where I was in charge. Sliding my hands into my pockets, I wrap my fingers around Deeks’s lighter, and memories of my brother wanting to raid the fridge flood my mind.