“I’m sorry for dropping the ball. I should have called before.”
Dee laughed. “Nah, don’t worry. I was just giving you a hard time. I bet dealing with that beast of a man can’t be easy.”
“He’s just so moody,” I admitted. “One moment he is decent, almost kind and the next, he is all dark and broody like I’ve personally offended him just by standing here.”
Dee chuckled. “That man wants you.”
I removed the phone from my ear, looking at it as if it was an alien.
“Are you high?” I asked her, putting the phone back to my ear.
She chuckled. “Not since the eighties, dear. But there is a very fine line between hate and desire. I think that man hates desiring you.”
I snorted. She hadn’t seen the way he was treating me. I’ve been downplaying it for her sake. “No, there is no desire there.”
“Babe, there is desire, trust me on this. You’re way too innocent to know, but I know men. The players are different, but the game remains the same. But it’s a good thing, babe. You can use his desire to control him.”
I had to laugh at that. Dean Beaumont was an island. I didn’t think anybody could control him…ever.
“Who knows, sex may be a way to his conscience.”
I had to laugh at that. Dean Beaumont? With a conscience? I didn't think that man had one. “Opal would try,” Dee replied.
I shook my head. “I’m not her, Dee. I’m nothing like her.”
“No, honey, you’re not. You’ve got a heart and a soul.”
I frowned. “She did too. What happened about not talking ill of the dead?”
Dee sighed. “I’m not talking ill. And, yes, she did, probably, once - before the heroin and…everything else. She loved her son. That was obvious, but…She would have done it, you know.”
I looked toward Timmy’s room, knowing he was sleeping soundly. “Done what?”
“Sell the baby to Dean Beaumont. We all saw how hard it was for you, how many sacrifices you had to make to keep Timmy alive. Opal would not have done that. She would have taken the easy way out.”
“Never!” I exclaimed vehemently, but the little voice in my head screamed that Dee was right. Opal had taken me away from our abusive father, but she’d gotten money for it. And she’d left me when she’d realized she actually had to take some responsibilities. Still, she had saved me.
“I have to go,” I told Dee a bit more coldly than I’d intended.
“Honeybun, don’t be mad at me, please.” The warmth and sadness in her voice thawed my heart. Dee was the mother figure in my life. I knew how much she loved me. How she helped me and protected me.
“I just - She saved me, you know.”
“I know she did, but what I’m trying to say is that you don’t need to make yourself miserable or suffer because of ill-placed guilt or gratitude.”
“No, that’s not the case. This is for Timmy.”
“Okay…You’re not mad, right?”
I shook my head before realizing she could not see me. “No, Dee, of course not. I love you.”
“I love you too, sweet girl. Just remember, if it gets too much, you don’t have to take it. You can leave. We’ll figure something.”
I turned toward Timmy’s room again. “Yea I know.” But Timmy was paramount and I’d take everything Dean Beaumont could throw my way if that was the only way of ensuring Timmy was cured and could stay with me. “I'll call you again later this week. Love you, Dee.”
“Love you too sweet girl.”
My stomach growled, since I’d been here and eating my fill my stomach had woken up with a vengeance and I was eating a lot all right.
I was walking to the kitchen for food when I heard my name.
“Ms. Collins? Do you have a minute?”
I froze at the sound of Dean’s voice coming from the small library. It was never a good thing when he was seeking me.
I stopped at the threshold. “Yes?” I asked. He stood behind the small desk in the corner,
dressed in an impeccable suit with black pants, a white shirt, and a blue tie. Only the jacket was missing but I suspected he’d left it in his office.
He threw me a look before pointing at the computer. “It seems you forgot to close Google.” He turned the screen toward me, showing me the list of colleges I’d searched for.
“I - You said I could use it.”
I was not an idiot. I knew he was probably monitoring everything I looked at. This was probably also the reason why he’d set a desktop computer in the library, for control.
He sighed. “Just come in and close the door behind you.”
I took a tentative step forward and stopped again. This man was bigger than life, physically, in personality, and ego. Being with him alone in an enclosed room was overwhelming, suffocating on so many levels. What terrified me most was my attraction to him despite his coldness and despicable attitude.
He sighed again, his aggravation becoming more palpable. “What are you scared of? That I’ll fuck you? We can’t say it would be a first for you, can we? And believe me, if I fucked you, you’ll come back asking for more.”
I was not an expert on sex, far from it, but I believed his words. His confidence was oozing from him and his steps were so lithe, so calculated. He was all about precision.
“I said, come in and close the damned door.”
I took a couple of quick steps forward and closed the door. I didn't need to anger him any further as it would not be in my favor. Stepping back, I rested my back against the door, putting as much distance between us as I could.
He rolled his eyes. “What do you want to study?”
I frowned. This was not how I’d expected this conversation to go. “Excuse me?”
He rolled his neck. “You know I don’t foresee much success from your college endeavors if you can’t even understand and answer the simplest question. No matter the college you pick.”
“Creative writing and marketing,” I replied quickly.
He raised an eyebrow in wonder. “Why marketing? To help you promote your prostitution business? Let me help you,” he sneered and I knew immediately that his next words were going to sting. “‘The tightest cunt you’ll get for a fifty.’ Catchy, isn’t it?”
I knew I shouldn’t take the bait and yet, I took a step forward. “I was more expensive than that!”
His eyes lit with victory. He’d wanted to bait me, to have me come closer. He snorted. “Please, I’ve seen where you live. I said fifty to be generous. I thought twenty was more like it.”
It hurt to admit, even if only to myself, that he was not wrong. Opal, before meeting Eddie and getting pregnant, would have probably had sex with anyone for just a shot of heroin.
“I’ll tell you what. I’ll pay for college - I mean based on their horrible ratings they can’t cost more than ten dollars, right?”
I pursed my lips, scowling in disapproval. Did he really have to shit on everything I wanted? The quality of college was one thing, but the finance part was the most critical. I was making plans for when Timmy and I got out of here. Dean would give me $5,000 a month for living expenses, but that was all for Timmy. Any money I didn't use, would be put aside for him later. I just needed a job, so I could pay for college that way. I didn't need Mr. Beaumont, Harvard graduate, to rain on my parade.