I smiled even as I tensed. He was sweet and I could see that he was attracted to me, but after what had happened with the lawyer the other day, I was wary of any male interest. Was he expecting me to just spread my legs and be down for all his dark twisted fantasies because he thought I was a prostitute? Did I lose the right to be respected because of my pretended profession?
How had my sister dealt with this? Had she been expected to give sexual favors all the time?
As he sat across from me, he must have noticed my discomfort. “I’m only joking,” he said, waving his hand dismissively.
“I know.” I hope.
“So the results of the latest tests are back. The disease is progressing a little bit faster than I would have liked, but there’s no need to be alarmed,” he added quickly, having probably seen me pale.
“What does it mean?” I asked, looking at Timmy in his stroller. I rested a hand on his tummy for comfort.
“It means that we won’t be able to wait until his second birthday to repair his heart like I would have liked. We will need to do that in the next few months.”
“But he is so little, so fragile.” Suddenly I wished Dean was here with me. Level-headed, cold-hearted Dean. Somehow I knew his presence would have reassured me.
“He is.” Jeremy nodded. “But I’m the best and he’s strong. He’ll be okay. We’re going to take some blood today and I’d like to put him on another medication to try to delay the surgery just a little longer.
I nodded. “Sure, You’re the expert.”
“Also, I-” He closed the file and rubbed his cheek. “I wanted to ask you something at dinner the other night, but Dean hasn’t made that evening easy on anyone.”
I snorted. That probably was the understatement of the millennia.
“Okay?”
“I-” He let out a nervous laugh. “I know this probably is not the right setting for this, but I think that if I don't do it now, Dean will never allow me the chance.”
“What is it?” I asked, completely lost by his change from a strong, confident doctor to a nervous man.
“I was wondering if you’d like to go out for dinner one night…with me.”
“Oh…” So that was what he wanted to do - have sex with me. The dinner had to be a pretend. Jeremy Hunt was a dashing man - dark hair, blue eyes, some slight Asian features adding to the whole exotic vibe. He had to have ladies throwing themselves at his feet. What would he want with an ex-hooker?
“I’m not doing that anymore.” I never did. I was disappointed in him, I’d thought he was one of the good ones, the ones that saw beyond the prostitution stigma.
“Eat?” he asked with a small smile.
I shook my head, trying very hard not to cry. “Sex for money or food or-” I waived my hand.
He leaned closer, resting his forearms on his desk. “Did I say I wanted to buy sexual favors?”
“No, but -”
He shook his head and sighed. “I just want to get to know you better in a more welcoming setting. Take you out on a date.”
“Why?” It made no sense.
“Why?” He let out a laugh. “So many reasons, really, but just on the top of my head? Because you are smart, wise, and stunningly beautiful. Because you are an amazing mother who loves her little boy very much and because the past is the past and should not define who we are or who we try to become.”
I blushed under his flow of compliments but remained silent. It was just so hard to believe.
“Has Dean ever talked to you about me? About my childhood?”
I shook my head, my mind still going a hundred miles a second.
“Ah.” Jeremy nodded appreciatively. “He is less of an ass than I’d thought.” He stood up and rounded the desk and took the seat beside mine. “You saw the trailer park at the entrance of town?”
“Yes.” He smelled good, warm, but somehow, it felt wrong…It was not Dean’s cold cologne. Lord, what was happening to me?
“That’s where I grew up,” he admitted with a sad smile. “I’ve done things that aren't pretty.” He grimaced. “My brother was a gang member and I was on my way to join them. I did a lot of stupid things. One time, we broke into a house and my brother got hurt but the man who we’d tried to steal from, saved his life, just like that.” He shook his head. “My brother had manhandled him and yet - That man was a surgeon here and he changed my life. That was the shock I needed to get out.” He opened his shirt to show me his toned, tanned peck which was covered by a roaring tiger. “This is the tattoo I got to hide the gang mark. I walked away from that life without a look back. My past doesn’t define me. It’s not me.”
“Do you really think people can change?” I asked, trying to convince myself that Opal had changed after having Timmy, for some reason hoping that Dean could change too. That he could hate me less without knowing the truth, maybe even like me - at least enough for me to come clean.
“Yes, I do. I’m proof that people can.”
“Dean doesn't,” I added, my voice tinged with sadness.
Jeremy sighed. “Dean is an unyielding, unforgiving man. He always has been.”
He was a nice man, a good-looking man, a successful man, and yet... I was scared to admit to myself what I was really feeling. I had to be messed up in the head to be attracted to a man who hated me.
“I’d like to go to dinner with you.” It was true. “But not right now. I need to concentrate on Timmy and his sickness.”
He nodded, undeterred. “Of course, yes, I understand.”
“And it might not be the best while I still live at the Beaumont Estate.”
“This is not a permanent arrangement?”
I shook my head. “Oh, God, no! This is just for a few months. Just to ensure everything is fine.”
He seemed confused by my weak explanation but didn’t push, which I was grateful for.
“Is there anything I need to look out for?” I asked, eager to go back on a more comfortable subject. “In Timmy, I mean, as his situation gets worse.”
“You’re already doing everything you have to do. Just make sure he is not going blue or that he starts coughing.”
“Blue?” I rested my hand on my chest as I turned toward Timmy.
“It’s not as scary as it seems,” he added quickly. “Just call us if it happens and he will be fine. We’re monitoring him closely.”
“Thank you, for everything.” I was so grateful for this man, truly.
“You’re welcome and everything will be okay.”
I gave him a grateful smile because, despite the bad news, he’d reassured me.
The worst though was knowing that, at this stage, there was nothing more I could do for Timmy. All I could do now was wait and hope.
Jeremy gave Timmy a checkup and organized a follow-up appointment for the next month. As I was ready to leave, he extended a card.
“This is my private number. Call me if anything concerns you about Timmy or if you want to talk, about anything or-” He smiled. “Or if you reconsider my dinner invitation.”
I nodded putting the card in my pocket. “I will. Thank you.” All in all, Jeremy Hunt was a catch, but no matter what, he would need to know the truth before going out with me, and I needed to sort out my confusing feelings about the unfeeling man I was sharing a living space with.