Pain ran through Kira at the evidence of another aspect of her former life she'd been absent for.
"What I remember most from that night is you ending it shirtless while wearing a pair of boxers on your head," Kira said, pushing away the bad feelings.
Raider paused in pouring the keeva. "I never did figure out whose those were."
"They were Walker's," Kira said. "He dared you to do a triple flip off the bar. When you only did a double, he gave you them as your penance."
Kira snickered at the look of horror on Raider's face.
"That bastard. He always swore he didn't do it."
"Elise tried to warn you, but you refused to listen. Said something about how no one would malign your skills."
Raider pulled a face. "We were all so young."
With no idea of what was coming.
Raider finished pouring the keeva into the last of the glasses. He picked up one and gestured for Kira to do the same. "Tonight, we'll create new memories. I think it’s time we put our brothers and sisters to rest, don't you?"
Reluctantly, Kira reached for the first glass. "We're nowhere close to Rothchild's anniversary."
Raider downed his first shot. Kira followed suit, warmth spreading through her veins.
"Who do you want to start with?" Raider asked, slamming the shot onto the table.
SEVENTEEN
"You know I always hated Bates," Raider said hours later, slamming his latest shot. Outside, the world had deepened to a golden hue tinged with blush and azure. "He was a pretentious know it all. Always telling us about the origin of a word or term. Used to drive me crazy."
"I don't think you were the only one," Kira said.
"Elise always called him Brainy Bates," Raider confessed, startling a laugh out of Kira.
"She didn't."
Raider nodded. "She did."
"I didn't know that," Kira said, her laugh fading. "That name used to drive him crazy, and I never could figure out where it came from."
This time Raider's grin was cagey as he swayed in his seat. "She was always proud she was able to keep that tidbit from you. Thought it was a game."
Kira snorted, not surprised in the least. Elise had taken great joy in her pranks. She and Jin had had a long-standing prank war that had made Kira the unsuspecting victim too many times.
"He died a hero though," Raider said in a soft voice.
Kira's nod was slight. "That he did. Drew that eel even knowing there was no way he'd outrun it. Saved a lot of lives in the process."
Raider's eyes were shiny as he raised his glass. "At least it was quick. More than I can say for Ranger and Park."
Kira hid her sadness. Ranger and Park had had the misfortune of living through the battle for Paxus, only to waste away from substandard care, as toxins ate away their nervous systems. The two had been bright and funny. Sometimes when Kira dreamed, she could hear the jokes they used to tell each other.
Kira played with her glass as Odin’s advice rumbled through her mind. There was something she needed to tell Raider. Something that was long overdue.
Maybe if she hadn’t split from the remaining Curs and hidden herself and her secrets for the last few years, this would be a non-issue. Only she had and it was.
“Did you ever think about having kids?” she asked instead of what she’d planned to say.
Raider froze in the act of picking up another shot. “What the hell brought that on?”
Kira lifted a shoulder. “Just a question.”
He studied her. “Is this that whole fear I’m going to die alone again?”
Kira rolled her eyes, knowing he was referencing the conversation they’d had when she’d been high on one of the things Luatha’s doctor had given her after she’d been injured.
Evidently it had made her very talkative. Raider and Jace told her she’d shared a whole bunch of interesting factoids—including that she thought Raider was going to die alone as a grumpy old man.
“Never mind, it was a stupid question,” she said.
He grunted in agreement before downing his shot. He set the glass down. “No, I didn’t.”
Kira frowned. “Not even with Elise.”
“It was war. You know what our lives were like. Nothing was safe,” he said. “Why would I bring a child into that?”
She did know. It was why she’d kept Blue close to her after she’d found her in a dumpster. The kid had lost everyone and everything. Kira had pulled major strings to keep her on her ship. It helped Blue had been useful when it came to repairing things.
“Besides, Elise didn’t want kids. She was adamant about it,” Raider said.
Kira took a sip of her drink. She did know that. Any child Elise had would have been hunted. The child would never have been safe. Same with any child Kira had.
“You could have one now,” Kira pointed out.
Raider considered her words for half a second before shaking his head. “I’m a lifer at this point. I don’t plan on changing that.”
They sat in silence for several moments.
“And you? Do you want kids?” Raider asked.
“Jin is enough of a child.” Kira shook her head. “I haven’t thought about it. Until recently, I didn’t know how long I had left.”
Raider tipped his glass at her. “Whole new future for you.”
Blue appeared beside them in the next instant, cutting off any response Kira might have made.
"I finally found you," Blue said in exasperation.
Raider lifted his head slowly, a dull surprise flitting across his face. "Little Blue, there you are."
Blue scowled at him. "Don't give me that, old man. I've been looking for the two of you for hours."
Raider swept his arm out, indicating the table strewn with empty glasses. "Here we are."
"I can see that," Blue said, dropping the scowl and eyeing the table with consternation. "What are you doing?"
Kira lifted her glass. "Toasting the fallen."
Blue's expression softened. "You know you need more than two people for that."
She wasn't lying. With as many dead as Kira and Raider had between them, they needed an entire squad. Even then, they'd likely end up regretting it in the morning.
"That has become very clear." Kira aimed a significant look at where Raider swayed.
Blue hooked her foot on a chair at the next table and pulled it over. She snatched a glass from the table and downed it in a single gulp. "Who is next?"
Raider raised his arms and cheered.
Kira sighed. "Bayside, right?"
Raider’s nod was careful, as if the copious amounts of alcohol he'd consumed might escape if he moved too quickly.
A sound of surprise left Blue, her glass lowering as she shot the two of them a disconcerted look. "How long have you been here?"
Raider and Kira shared a look, saying at the same time. "Long enough."
Shaking her head, Blue threw the shot back, grimacing at the taste. "The thing I remember most about Bayside was that he hated peppers. Used to complain anytime he got them in an MRE. Said they were an offense to food everywhere."