Loudon didn't move for several long seconds, still lost in the memory. Kira used the time to compose herself, her breathing returning to normal, and some of the emotions from the memory fading as he withdrew from the crystal.
His eyes were glassy with unshed tears as he folded his hands behind his back.
"My wife," he said in answer to the questions on Kira's face. "She was taken from me the same day your parents died."
"I'm sorry for your loss," Kira murmured. She gazed up at the crystal cluster, a grim feeling settling in her stomach. There must be thousands of columns. "Do these represent all those who died that day?"
Loudon nod was somber. "The Mea'Ave helps us remember the things that affect the collective. In time, when the sting of events fade, the columns will merge into one."
Kira gazed around the room, finally noticing other columns interspersed throughout the great cavern, their surface smooth, light refracting off them.
"Other times of tragedy for the Tuann," Loudon supplied, noticing where her attention had gone. "I wouldn't touch them, however. Their memories are chaotic. Only those who have practice can sort through them."
"People like you?" Kira asked.
Loudon inclined his head. "One of my duties is to interpret the histories written in our memories. It can take years to build up the discipline needed to unravel the tangled threads."
"Interesting," Kira said, gazing around.
She didn't know how she felt about the cluster and the memories encased within. On the one hand, being able to revisit a moment with your loved one would be a priceless gift. On the other, how were you to heal when constantly confronted with the memories of what you’d lost?
"Would you like to find your father's memories?" Loudon asked, his gaze shadowed.
Kira exhaled. "Somehow, I don't think that's a good idea."
Especially not in Loudon's company. He'd done nothing to arouse suspicion, but everything inside Kira rebelled at leaving herself so vulnerable in front of another.
It was surprising the depth of yearning she had for memories of a man she'd never met and never would. She'd thought she was over the phase where she wished for a family that would never come.
She liked to think she was strong. Resourceful. She didn't need a mother and father anymore. Either way, she doubted a few memories would fill the ache of their absence, anyway. They'd simply remind her of what had never been hers in the first place.
"You remind me of him," Loudon said.
Kira snorted. "Of my father? People keep telling me that."
Loudon tilted his head. "I was thinking more of your uncle."
Kira's attention swung toward him.
Loudon smiled. "Did that surprise you?"
"A little, yeah."
Loudon stared up at the cluster in thought. "Your father was considered a great man. Fate was kind to him."
"What do you mean?"
Loudon looked down as he clasped his hands in front of him. "Did you know your father and Harlow were twins? And that Harlow is the older?"
Kira thought it was safe to say there was a lot she didn't know about her family. Loudon must have understood because he chuckled.
"In our society, the position of Overlord is one of strength and power. Certain criteria must be met before you assume the mantle."
"Like a primus form," Kira supplied slowly.
He nodded, a flash of appreciation at the example crossing his face. "Very good. That is one. Every House has their own criteria, certain checkboxes that must be ticked off."
"And someone who doesn't meet the qualifications is passed over," Kira guessed.
"In rare instances, a House might decide to follow another, but such occurrences usually only happen in times of turmoil when a different type of leadership might prove more advantageous."
Kira thought she saw where he was going with this.
"In every way but two, Harlow was the better choice for Overlord. His military acumen was unrivaled. The lack of primus wasn't much of a concern since he had no trouble fighting against them," Loudon said.
"But my father became Overlord."
Loudon inclined his head. "I knew them both when we were young. They were like night and day. Your father had this way about him. He was charming, charismatic. People followed him. Drawn to him in the same way they were captivated by your mother."
"And my uncle?"
Loudon's gaze was far away, with his mind mired deep in memories of long ago. "He served from the shadows. He was Harding's strong right arm, doing what the Overlord couldn't or wouldn't do for himself."
Kira cast a sideways look at him. "It seems like you think my uncle should have been the one to be Overlord."
Loudon paused, his laugh surprised. "Oh, no. I don't care about such things. Your father was a good leader. He did the best he could to protect our people."
The sound Kira made was unconvinced. From the way Loudon spoke, that was hard to believe—especially when standing in the presence of memories of the dead.
A soft splash behind them drew their attention.
Harlow stopped several feet away, two flowers the size of Kira's head cradled in gentle hands. One was a soft baby blue, a white stamen jutting from its middle. The other was the color of a yellow daisy, bright and cheery.
"Loudon. Niece." Harlow's greeting rumbled through the room.
"Overlord," Loudon said, stepping away from the cluster. "I see you've brought your weekly offering. You're a few days early, aren't you?"
Harlow's gaze lingered on Kira a few seconds before shifting to Loudon. "Liliana and Harding have been on my mind often of late."
Understanding and sympathy filled Loudon's face. "I was explaining to your niece about the etheiri and her father."
Harlow was quiet, his expression hard to read. Finally, he bent, placing the flowers to float along the water. Their petals touched as if holding hands as they bobbed in the waves his disturbance had caused.
"Would you like to see a memory of Harding now that you know more?" Loudon asked.
Kira's smile was stiff. "Not right now. Perhaps another time."
"Yes, you should be resting for tomorrow," Harlow said, finally standing.
Uncertainty filled Loudon's expression as he glanced between the two of them. "What is tomorrow?"
"The uhva na is ready." Harlow's voice was deep and calm as it flowed through the space. "Wren has a plan to test the initiates before making his final decision regarding those who will attempt the Trial of the Broken."
Loudon had concern etched on his face. "So soon? I thought we were going to wait until a more appropriate time." His glance at Kira had her stiffening, leaving her with no doubt as to the real reason he wanted to wait. "If we are too hasty ushering them along this path, it can cause unnecessary damage and leave them ill-prepared for what they face after the adva ka."
"The uhva na has opened. The Mea’Ave has decided," Harlow said, his words final.
Loudon's mouth snapped shut on what he'd been about to say, his shoulders slumping as he conceded the battle.
Harlow's gaze softened, and he clasped the other man on the shoulder. "There is precedence. It’s rare for our young to advance so quickly, but not unheard of. You know that as well as anyone since you advanced years earlier than most. Graydon is another example. This is sooner than we intended, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”